


If Home Is Where The Heart Is

by brittany4824



Category: Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-03 18:03:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 90,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8724556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittany4824/pseuds/brittany4824
Summary: Veronica is in her second year of law school. Although she has found a place in New York City, something always calls her back to Neptune. When she visits home for a seemingly normal Thanksgiving break, she is whisked back into her old habits when she takes on a case.





	1. Chapter 1

**Hello my lovely friends! This is my first completed fanfic that I have ever written for Veronica Mars. It was originally posted on FF.net. This story starts out with me trying to be movie compliant, and as you will see later on, it pulls far away (thank Jesus) away from that. So it will start off with Piz, but my dear LoVe fans bear with me. It's worth it. I promise.**

**Reviews are welcome and appreciated.**

**Thanks Marshmallows,**

**Brittany**

* * *

 

"This is Gervais and Associates, how may I direct your call?" Veronica sat, listening to the receptionist continually answering the ringing phone. She watched as the female smiled and nodded as if the person on the other line could see her.

"Veronica Mars?" a male voice said from behind the couch where she sat. She tried not to seem too eager as she jumped up at the sound of her name. She had been waiting for over an hour for her interview at Gervais and Associates, one of the smaller consulting agencies in New York City. She was in her second year of law school, and the job was only going to be an internship. She needed the cash— as little as it was paying— and she knew it would be a good place to get her foot in the door for bigger and better things.

Veronica followed the young man through a hallway to a conference room. There was a large table in the center of the room where a gentleman in his early thirties and a female (who Veronica guessed was in her fifties) sat. She knew that the man was Philip Gervais. He was the son of the owner and was the company's head attorney. The older woman was a mystery. Veronica decided she was probably head of HR or something.

"Veronica," Philip stood, "it is so nice to finally meet you. Bobby has told us a lot about you."

 _Oh yes, He would have,_ thought Veronica humorously. Bobby worked in the admissions office of her school. She had done him a favor by uncovering his cheating wife, and so he continued to return the favor by setting up interviews for her. She didn't necessarily like the fact that she was making progress due to Bobby's cheating wife, but what the hell.

"Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here," she responded by taking Philip's outstretched hand.

"Sit! Sit, let's begin."

An hour and a half later, Veronica was heading outside into the crisp New York air. The interview had gone well, and she was fully confident that Gervais would undoubtedly scoop up the perky blonde who, according to the old HR lady, "had the drive and confidence they were looking for."

Her phone rang and she answered. It was Keith.

"Hey pops," she smiled.

"'Ey is this Ronnie? I'm lookin' for someone who goes by dat name," he responded in his best New Yorker accent.

"Well, you'll never find someone going by _that_ name with _this_  phone number. But if you're looking for _Veronica_ who just happened to have the best interview of her life at Gervais, then you've found her."

"Ah! No way, Sweetie! I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, dad. I mean, I don't wanna jump the gun, but I'm fairly certain that I swept those bastards off their feet."

"I'm sure you did. Let me know when you hear something."

"Of course," Veronica responded. Her heart began to ache. She missed home. New York was every aspiring lawyer's dream, but Veronica always preferred sunny California. She hadn't been home in over six months, and the inevitable pull of Neptune had slowly taken its toll on her.

_As much as I hated that place, it sucks me in. Every damn time. Plus Logan isn't there anymore. He's down in Hollywood with his girlfriend. It's safe to go home now._

Oh, Logan. She liked to make herself believe that she didn't think about him as much as she actually did. Of course if his face wasn't splashed across People magazine every week, it would be easier to forget his jackass charm.

She shook him from her thoughts and returned back to her conversation with her dad.

"I miss you," she said at almost a whisper. Her eyes stung, and she was unsure how much of it was caused by the cold air hitting her face or the tears she was holding back.

"I miss you too, sweetheart. But I'll be seeing you soon. You're still coming home for Thanksgiving, right?"

"I mean, it all depends on the job, but yeah. That's still the plan." She heard Keith release his breath. She knew that he was worried she wouldn't make it home. She only hoped that she wouldn't disappoint him again this year.

* * *

 

Stosh "Piz" Piznarski sat at a small table at Rosie's Pizzeria. It was one o'clock so he had missed the lunch hour rush. He stared at the restaurant's window as he watched for Veronica. His palms were sweaty and his stomach was in knots.

He and Veronica had broken up after she transferred to Stanford their sophomore year of college, which came as no surprise to anyone. They had been through too much. She had changed after the whole Logan beating his face to a pulp incident, and even more so when her dad lost the election to Vinnie Van Lowe. He couldn't really blame her for breaking up with him. He knew what he was signing up for when he started dating the stone wall named Veronica Mars. Wallace had tried warning him, with no success.

But then what seemed like fate hit them like a truck when they ran into each other at a grocery store almost a week earlier. They stood in the cereal aisle for almost an hour as they caught up. He casually asked her if she would want to grab lunch sometime, and to his surprise she agreed. It had been four years since they had seen each other, and he was hoping the time spent apart would be enough for them to rekindle what they once had.

He finally spotted Veronica walking towards the door. She was dressed in a cream button up shirt and dress pants. Her hair had grown longer and it was curled. She was glowing.

"Piznarski!" she called as she walked through the door. She hurried towards him. Piz stood and embraced her. A wave of nostalgia hit as the sweet scent of her shampoo and perfume reached him. She was exactly as he remembered.

"Veronica. You look happy. Did you go to that interview you were talking about?"

They both sat. She smiled at him, eyes bright.

"I did, indeed. And not to toot my own horn or anything but… I made them my bitch."

"Oh hell yeah!" he responded as they high fived. She laughed and looked at him with her beautiful eyes. His face began to flush so he looked down at the menu that sat in front of him. "Since you haven't been to Rosie's yet, I'm ordering for us. Their flatbread pizza is killer." She stayed silent, but nodded her head looking down at her menu. He glanced at her hoping to catch those eyes again, but she was avoiding his stare.

"I'm sorry," she blurted suddenly. He looked at her bewildered. She must have sensed his confusion, because she continued, "…for everything. You were— are— such an amazing guy. I was fucked up when you met me. I didn't treat you—"

"Veronica, don't," Piz cut her off. He didn't want her to feel bad for anything that happened in the past. She hadn't done anything wrong. She only did what she thought was best for her, and he finally understood that now.

 _Don't let her off the hook that easy,_ he thought suddenly. _She really screwed me over. I was the nice one. The one she was supposed to choose. I did everything right, but no matter how hard I tried she never saw anything but a little boy with a crush._ He hated her for that. He hated that she let him fall so hard for her, only to rip that away from him.

"No, let me get this out," she argued. He kept his mouth shut and let her finish. "I'm not saying that I have everything figured out now, but… Damn, I thought this would be easier."

"What? Veronica Mars is having a hard time expressing herself?" he teased. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Shut up," she laughed.

He wanted to tell her that he still loved her. After all of these years, she was still the one that got away. He wanted to tell her that she was safe with him. He wanted to tell her that if she would have him, he wanted to try again, but just as he began to pick up courage, the waitress walked up to their table. Timing was never their forte.

* * *

 

As the afternoon rolled on, Veronica found herself in that same place she found herself freshman year when she realized how amazing Piz was. He was older and had matured well. His hair was slicked back, and he wore a plaid dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dark jeans. She couldn't help but to admire his physical attractiveness.

From what he had shared, he was working for WBEZ, for a show called This American Life. She always knew his contagious personality would land him in a position of high radio standing.

"So a couple of coworkers and I are going out for drinks tonight if you wanna swing by?" his voice interrupted her thoughts.

Veronica looked at him and realized she had a decision to make. She had no intentions of dating anyone for a very long time. She wanted to be finished with school and settled into a high paying law firm before she even thought about committing to someone. But she also knew how she and Piz worked. They were really good at being friends, until he couldn't hide his feelings any longer and his good boy persona swept her off of her normally grounded feet.

If she agreed to continue these "friend dates" they would most likely end up in one of the following situations: 1) they would sleep together and everything would get confusing and they would awkwardly stop talking, 2) they would sleep together and continue down that path of "friends with benefits" that inevitably ends up with one person falling madly in love for the other, 3) they would not sleep together, but one of them would still fall madly in love with the other, and their friendship would be ruined. She didn't have time for messes at this point in her life. She had to decide. She could either end things here and now, and they could part ways as friends. They would send Christmas cards to each other every year. Or she could go out for drinks, and hope to God that none of the situations would play out and they could just be good friends again.

_Just let go for once in your life, Mars. Just let things happen._

"Drinks, huh? Yeah. Yeah, why not? Just hit me up with the details, and I'll be there." She had done it. It was easy to walk away, and Veronica had never liked the easy route.

* * *

 

Later that night Veronica hailed a cab and headed towards a bar called O'Leary's. She had spent the evening mentally preparing herself for the night out. She wasn't sure what to wear so she settled on a short red dress. It had long flowy sleeves and a low V neck, but not so low that she seemed like she was asking for sexual favors. She stepped into black heels and had put her hair in a messy bun.

_This is not a date, Veronica. Don't sex yourself up too much…_

The cab finally stopped in front of a crowded sidewalk outside of the bar. She handed the driver cash and stepped into the night. It took her a few minutes of final deliberation before she walked into the crowded O'Leary's. She found Piz and a few other people at a circular table. They had already made a large pile of empty mugs and glasses in the center of the table. Piz had his arm around a drunk brunette. When he saw Veronica approaching he jumped out of his seat.

"There you are!" he yelled over the loud music, "Guys! Guys! This is Veronica Mars," he said turning to the table. There were four girls and two other guys. All acknowledged her with friendly smiles and waves. Piz put his hand on her back and led her to an empty seat next to his.

"You look beautiful," he whispered in her ear as they sat. She turned to face him. He smiled drunkenly, and turned back to the brunette. She laughed at something he said and placed her hand on his knee. A shot of jealously ran through Veronica's body unexpectedly. She realized she needed to catch up to them in order for this night to be remotely bearable so she stood and headed to the bar.

* * *

 

 _Slow your roll, Veronica._ She had already downed four…maybe five drinks and she knew she was starting to get pretty drunk. Piz had taken the brunette, who she now knew was Amber, to the dance floor and they hadn't returned. She sat alone at the table. Two of the girls had gone to dance with the guys, and one of the girls had already gone home.

 _So he really meant it when he said 'let's be friends,'_ she thought angrily. She understood that he was a single, attractive man, but she was irritated that she had gotten ready and come to a bar only to sit by herself at a sticky, empty table.

She spotted Piz on the dance floor and decided to let him know she was going home. "Hey! Ladies' man, I'm gonna head home! It's getting late, and clearly I am not needed here!" Before she could leave, he grabbed her hand.

"Dance with me!" he insisted. She shook her head. Everything was so loud.

"I don't dance, Piznarski. You know that."

"I don't believe you," he laughed. He pulled her closer. She closed her eyes and let go. He wanted her to dance? She would dance.


	2. Chapter 2

 

* * *

_You know, you're not a fucking angel, Veronica. We're both messed up. You can't sit there on some damn pedestal you've built for yourself and expect to be immune to loneliness, because one day you'll realize you've left everyone behind and you'll be alone and bitter. Well guess what 'babe' I won't be there to pick up your pieces. Fuck you Veronica. I deserved more than a cold shoulder. After all we've been through. But who am I kidding? This is Veronica Mars we're talking about. Oh. And don't call me back._

It was the last message and the last thing Veronica had heard Logan say. He left the drunken voicemail a few days after she had ended things forever with him. At the time, she had been tempted to call back. But they both knew she was too damn stubborn to do that. She had kept the message after all these years. Occasionally, when she began to miss him, she would listen to it to affirm that breaking away from him was the best decision she could have made.

They were explosive, she and Logan, and not in a good way. She wondered if they spent more time loving each other passionately or hating each other. Yet, after all that was said, that was done, he was constantly in her every thought and every move.

It had been a few days since her outing with Piz, and they had seen each other or talked every day since. She knew she was walking straight into deep waters if they kept it up.

 _But he's so good. Too good._ She thought, smiling, as Stosh Piznarski's face invaded her thoughts about Logan. Maybe she had been wrong after all these years. Veronica had always thought Logan was her one great love, but maybe it was more subtle and discreet than that. Perhaps her one great love was the guy that stayed, the guy that waited, and the one that cared so deeply— not only for her— but for people in general.

Everything was a mess. She was a mess. Her mind and heart couldn't agree on what to do. One day all she could think about was Logan, and the next she was warmed with the thoughts of Piz. She was angry that she even got herself into this position. If only she had taken a little more from her mom's gene pool… But, alas, she was Keith Mars' daughter and there was no denying that. She cared too much for people.

Her ringing cell pulled her out of her cloud of thoughts. Her heart began to race. It was Gervais.

"Hello?"

"Hello, I'm looking for Veronica Mars?"

"This is she."

There was a short pause. It was only a few seconds long, but Veronica felt as if it were an hour. Pausing was a bad sign.

"Yes, Veronica," the male voice continued, "On behalf of Gervais and Associates, I would like to congratulate you. We have decided that you are a perfect match for our company, and would love if you would accept the position as intern to Philip Gervais and his legal team."

Veronica's heart exploded as she sat, mouth agape, for a few seconds before mustering an, "I would like that very much. Thank you so much for this opportunity."

After getting a few details about the following days to come, she hung up her phone and immediately went to call her dad. He was going to be so happy for her. Making him proud was the best feeling in the world.

* * *

 

"A toast," Piz said raising his glass of champagne, "to Veronica Mars. With determination, and utter balls to the walls bad-assery, she has accepted her first major position at Gervais and Associates. I couldn't be any less shocked or happy for you."

They sat at a table with his friends. It was the same group of people from the bar. Amber sat across from Piz, then there was Jessica, Cheyenne, and Erica. The guys were Thomas and Shaun. They all raised their glasses, and 'cheered' to Piz' toast.

Veronica looked around at her new friends. She like them, but part of her wished she was at a bar drinking with Wallace and Mac. She missed the familiarity of her old friends. She had already called each of them to break the good news, and they were excited for her, as expected. Wallace had told her when she was home he was going to take her out for beers to celebrate.

"Well," Veronica started, "First, I would like to thank my father, who taught me the ways of bad-assery. I would also like to thank the wife of my admissions counselor who was screwing her assistant. Without her sleazy ways, I wouldn't have had the interview." They all chuckled, raised their glasses again and took drinks. She smiled and took a sip.

* * *

 

Logan looked around him. There were half naked girls running around and dancing, drinking, smoking, and being idiots. Some of them were celebrities and others were Carrie's friends that she had met here and there. Logan passed by the coffee table where a group of trashed, washed out child stars were doing lines coke. He sighed and kept looking for his girlfriend.

"Hey, Jessica, have you seen Carrie?" Logan asked as he approached Carrie's assistant, Jessica, who was standing in a corner talking to a stranger.

"Looogan. Hey buddy," she smiled. She was clearly intoxicated, and Logan could feel his blood rising. Carrie promised she would stop with this shit.

 _But did I really believe her? How many times did I promise people the same thing? Did_ I _ever stop?_

"Alright, Jessica, just let me know where she is," Logan tried again irritated.

"I think she left with some guy. I can't remember his name though… Look, Logan, just let her have fun! You used to be fun…"

Logan was done with that conversation. He stormed off heading outside to his car. If being with Veronica Mars had taught him anything, it was that you always have a way to track your significant other. He chuckled cynically as he pulled out his phone. He pulled up the app for tracking Carrie. There on his screen was a little red dot labeled "Carrie." She was about ten miles away at Le Petit Maison, a high end hotel.

Breathing deeply, getting ready for the worst, he pulled out of the driveway and headed down the street.

* * *

 

A few hours later, Logan pulled into his own home's driveway. He had found a beach house that was a good place to live during his off duty times. He had joined the Navy two months before he had started dating Carrie and much to her dismay her new love interest would be away from home, six months at a time. Logan had chosen this house because he wanted to ensure that he would have a home to come back to— a place where they could discreetly stay for the short time he was there.

It was a beautiful house. The walls were primarily glass. They looked out onto the Pacific Ocean. It wasn't too big, but it was still roomy. In the evening you could sit out on the deck and watch the sun set over the ocean. The first time he saw the sunset, he immediately thought about how much Veronica would like the view.

But here he was, without Veronica. In fact, he had heard through the grapevine that she was on the opposite side of the country now. The odds that she would ever see that view were extremely low.

He pulled Carrie's limp body out of the car and carried her up the steps to his front door. The first time he had to do this was tricky because he was unsure how to carry an unconscious body and unlock a door at the same time. With Carrie's constant partying and habit of passing out, he had become something of a professional at multitasking.

Logan had found her at the hotel with a few other people. He thanked all the gods that she hadn't been sleeping with someone. As far as he was concerned, that had yet to happen during her drunken nights. The people at the hotel didn't put up any fight as he took her. They were probably too afraid knowing he could call the cops. Drugs were spread across the tables and counters of the room.

Once Logan had Carrie tucked into bed, he made his way back downstairs and to his kitchen. He stared into the fridge unable to come to terms with where his relationship with Carrie was going. She had a drug habit in the past, he had known that before they started dating, but he had always brushed it off as if it were a minor detail. Now, with his drugged out girlfriend upstairs, it seemed hardly like a minor detail any longer.

When they had run into each other at a mutual friend's party three years ago, he was just as messed up as she was. He hadn't taken Veronica's cutting him off very well. Cold turkey. That is what she had done to him. Veronica was there one day and was gone the next. He hadn't seen her since that day in the cafeteria when they exchanged glances. Seeing Veronica staring at him after his altercation with that Russian guy had given him momentary hope that they would be able to fix things again. He had defended her honor for Christ's sake. She liked that. She always had. But somehow, it wasn't enough for her, and she continued to ignore him; eventually leaving Neptune altogether.

The worst part was that he couldn't blame her. He wanted her to leave. She needed to be free and deserved so much more than Neptune had to offer.

Logan pushed back the memories of the pesky blonde and grabbed a beer out of the fridge before closing it. Flipping the TV on, he plopped onto his couch. He stared at the screen without processing what he was watching.

"Dammit, Carrie," he breathed.

_I need to put my foot down. She can't keep acting like this, expecting me to be here to pick up the pieces._

He looked down at his phone. There weren't any new notifications. He knew Carrie was going to be out cold for the rest of the night, and it was only seven. He glanced back at his phone and opened his contact list. Just because Carrie liked to ruin his nights, didn't mean he would let her.

* * *

 

"I'm glad you decided to meet with me, my man," Logan said shaking Wallace's hand.

"I mean, if a Hollywood celeb asks me to join him for drinks at 'The 09'er', I'm not gonna refuse," Wallace replied smiling. "But what's the catch, Logan?" he continued, "I haven't heard from you in ages."

"Can't a guy just call his old high school buddy for the hell of it?" Logan responded.

"Last time I checked, we did _not_ talk in high school," Wallace laughed. "I think you got the wrong person."

"Alright," Logan said more seriously, "I didn't have anyone else to call. I know you're a good guy. I don't have very many friends that are good guys, Wallace." Wallace nodded. He seemed to understand what Logan was saying. Logan was sure that Wallace had seen the horror stories in the Hollywood gossip magazines about him and his dysfunctional life.

The two sat in silence for a while, both sipping from their mugs. Logan motioned for the bartender to get them another round.

"Drinks are on me," Logan smiled. That seemed to relax Wallace a bit.

Nodding Wallace spoke more happily, "Well, if that's the case…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note: I didn't have an official beta until about chapter 15! So a lot of this was self edited... And I am not the best at that. bondopoulos stepped in and became my beta for part of the fic, and she is amazing! I'm re-reading as I post her to try to fix any errors that may have been on FF.net, so if there are any errors, I apologize!! It get's better, I promise!!


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Logan was feeling very buzzed, and for the first time in a while, happy. Wallace had warmed up to him, and was Logan helping him rate "the ladies" at the 09'er. It was Logan's first real "guy night" in months that he had aside from  the ones he had with his Navy comrades. It also didn't hurt that Wallace made Logan feel just an inch closer to Veronica.

Logan had been very careful to keep his mouth shut about the perky blonde. He knew once he mentioned her name, Wallace would assume that he was only invited there for an information dump. So Logan let Wallace rant about his new job at Neptune High, and how he hadn't been laid in three months. Logan listened. It was nice to have someone complaining about real things, unlike Carrie who complained about the bitch who wore the same designer dress on the red carpet as she had.

"Alright, Logan. You've waited long enough. Just ask," Wallace sighed dramatically, raising his eyebrows.

"Whatever do you mean?" Logan asked with fake modesty.

"We both know this social call wasn't solely for male bonding."

 _Caught_.

"Honestly, Wallace, I have no idea what you're speaking of. We are here for the beer, the music, and the ladies!" Logan lifted his beer in the air and smiled at the well-endowed redhead sitting beside Wallace. She gave a flirtatious smile back. Wallace smiled and shook his head.

"Well, that's something I can stand behind!" Wallace laughed, taking a large drink. Logan watched as Wallace turned his attention to the redhead. "I'm Wallace, what's your name?" The girl answered, but Logan wasn't listening. He was kicking himself and his pride. He should have just asked Wallace what they all knew he wanted to ask. How was she?

* * *

 

"Okay, so let's be clear, you must tell your father that he is missed dearly, and that I expect him to come visit as soon as possible." Piz sat on Veronica's bed as she packed up her clothes for her trip to California.

"He'll be happy to hear that," she told him while throwing her underwear into the suitcase.

"Why would you need these?" Piz laughed taking out one of her fancy pairs of underwear she had packed.

"Piznarski, you never know when you could get laid! Gotta keep myself looking good!" she joked back. She yanked them from his grip and caught a glimpse of what seemed like momentary jealousy in Piz's face before he smiled up at her.

"This is very true. Have to be ready," he replied less merrily.

"Stosh, I'm totally kidding! They're just the first things I grabbed," Veronica assured him. He smiled and nodded so she continued, "He's coming here for Christmas, you know, my dad."

Piz's face lightened before asking, "Well, it'll be good to see him. That is, if I'm going to…?"

"Of course, he'll be happy to see you again. He still mentions you from time to time. He likes to say, 'Remember Piz, I liked Piz. Good man.' I kid you not."

She wasn't lying. Keith had always liked Piz and did bring him up throughout the years. When he had heard that she and Piz had started talking again, he tried to hide his excitement, but Veronica knew how Keith felt without  expressing it. Her dad thought Piz was good for her. Piz was safe, he was nice, and he wouldn't break her like Logan had. Logan had tried to bond with Keith through the years, but he never quite had Keith's trust. Although to be fair, she had tried very hard to keep her leading men from having too much interaction. She had learned from her mistake with Logan, and tried to bring Piz around more often. He had been an instant hit, and it was evident where Keith's alliances were, even if he would never impose them on her.

"Well, I hope you have a good time while you're there. Don't miss me too much," Piz sighed while standing. He walked over to her and gave her a hug and a kiss on the top of her head. Veronica's stomach fluttered. It wasn't butterflies. It was a feeling of excitement and anxiety brought on by the imposing relationship status between them. She really wanted to let go and give in, but it just didn't feel right. Not yet, at least.

"I'll try," she responded, trying to mask the guilt she was feeling. He didn't seem to notice because he smiled and headed out the door.

"Alright, I'll see you when you get back." He disappeared, and a few minutes later she heard the apartment's door close. She breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't know why she felt the way she did. Piz was the good guy. Why couldn't she just accept that and be okay with the fact that there didn't need to be fireworks and bloodshed?

_Epic… bloodshed… I don't have time for that anymore. I am a grown woman…_

…A grown woman still in love with her high school sweetheart, and she knew it.

* * *

 

"Hey, baby. When did I fall asleep?" Carrie asked as she walked down the stairs the next morning. Logan was up cooking brunch for the two of them. He looked up to see her in one of his white tee shirts. Her hair was freshly combed and her smeared makeup from the night before was magically gone from her smiling face.

" _Sleep_? That's what it's called these days?" Logan said with little emotion.

"Oh come on, Logan. I was just having fun. Something you should try more often," she purred. Carrie approached him timidly and slipped her arms around his waist. She looked up with playful eyes.

"I actually did try some of that 'fun' you speak of. I went out after I bought you home." He felt her tense following his confession.

"What do you mean, 'went out,'?" she demanded. Her voice was harsher and irritated.

"With an old friend from high school," he looked at her smiling, "Perhaps you remember him... Wallace Fennel?"

"The basketball player who followed Veronica around like a puppy?" she asked, clearly not amused by his choice of friend. 

"That would be the one!" Logan clapped his hands together with fake enthusiasm.

"You were never friends with him," she argued, "He was one of the pieces of trash that Neptune High took in as charity."

"Ah, the kind spirited Carrie Bishop, ladies and gents! You know not everybody is lucky like we are, dear. Some have to work for their money."

"Bonnie. I've told you a million times, Logan. Call me Bonnie," she reminded him pointedly.

Logan grunted and nodded his head as if to just remember that request. Truth was, he hated calling her Bonnie. It was weird. He could care less that the media and her fans referred to her by her stage name, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It made her less real to him. She only ever threw a fit about being called Carrie when she was trying to pick a fight, and Logan wasn't in the mood to bring out Carrie's claws.

"So, _Bonnie_ ," he tried again, "should I expect you for dinner?"

"I'm going to stay here today. I have a killer headache," she yawned. He smiled as he watched her eat a piece of bacon she had stolen off the plate. "What?" she asked batting her eyelashes.

"Nothing. I just miss this. You and me…" he paused and considered whether he would ask the next part, "…Are we happy with what we're doing here? Are you happy?" She sighed. He knew that he had annoyed her by his questioned, but he needed to know.

"I am. But I've always said, if you aren't happy anymore, I won't ever stop you from leaving. You're either with me or not. I don't have time for your emotional ass to play games with me." Her words were harsh and he knew she was trying to get a rise out of him.

"Okay," was all he said back. She smiled, believing she had won this battle, and continued munching on her bacon.

* * *

 

Logan paced the floor as he debated whether he would call Wallace again or not. He figured that if he called a second night in a row, he could be pushing his luck, and boundaries, with his new friend. But Carrie was nowhere to be found, and Logan had called her at least twenty times, leaving at least twelve messages on her voice mail. 

Gia had picked her up around four in the afternoon, so Logan was fairly certain he wouldn't see her again tonight, and he promised himself that he wouldn't waste his entire night searching for her. Gia would watch out for her, she always did.

Logan stopped pacing and sat down at his bar. He stared at his phone, begging it to ring. Logan wished that it would be _her_ face to pop up on his screen—Veronica.  Even after all these years, he held some hope that one day she would just call him. She could yell, curse, cry… be drunk, for all he cared. Just to hear her voice again would be worth it —that sarcastic, ridiculous voice that he had grown to love.

 

 

_"Logan Echolls! For me? You shouldn't have!" Veronica had said with her playful voice. She had opened up a random gift that Logan had picked up for her in Mexico. It was an ugly tee shirt that said, "Wasted in Mexico." He knew that she would get a kick out of it. She hated whenever he went._

_"I had it custom made for you," Logan responded with his dry humor. He smirked and peeked at her. Veronica closed her eyes and held the shirt to her chest._

_"It must have cost you a fortune," she breathed in her fake Southern accent._

_"It made a significant dent in my millions, but I think I should be okay," he laughed. Veronica smiled at him, and then her face grew serious._

_"I love you, you know."_

_His cold heart melted each time she ever uttered those words. It was very seldom she ever said them._

_"I love you too, Veronica Mars."_

 

Logan turned his phone in his hands a few times before he decided to call Wallace. He had to admit, he felt a little childish calling Wallace again, but he didn't care anymore.

"Uh, hello?" came Wallace's distracted voice. There was a lot of noise coming from the background.

"Hey, is this a bad time?" Logan asked.

"Guys, you better not start the game without me!" Wallace yelled to whoever he was with. He turned his attention back to Logan, "Naw, I have a little bit of time, what's up?"

"You know what..." Logan was cut short from a voice he heard speaking to Wallace. That familiar voice. His stomach lurched. "…I'll call back later," he managed.

"Yeah, sounds good, Logan. How about I call you tomorrow?"

"Alright, man."

They said their goodbyes and Logan tossed his phone onto his counter. She was home. His brain immediately started plotting ways that he could accidentally run into her.

 _Don't do that to her._ His brain argued. _She has her own life. Let her go. Let her be._ Logan's heart didn't quite feel the same way. He wanted to get in his car now and head to Neptune. He would drive around all night until he found where she was. _Don't be stupid. If you showed up at the door of the place she was at, she would think you were a psychopath._ Or would she? She was used to his emotional outbursts. Would she really be so surprised that he would rush to see her?

He rubbed his temple, trying to calm his racing mind. Veronica would still be there tomorrow, so he decided to sleep on it. He would decide what to do when his brain wasn't mush.

Slowly he made his way to the couch. He laid down, flipping his TV to a channel that was playing Ocean's Eleven. Closing his eyes, he felt sleep rush over him. 

* * *

 

Veronica heard Logan's name come from Wallace's mouth. She was sure of it. Had Wallace been talking to Logan on the phone? No, that was ridiculous. Wallace wouldn't have any sort of connection to Logan after all these years. Would he? She was too embarrassed to ask her best friend about it, so she tried to dismiss what she had heard.

Mac and Wallace had joined Veronica and her dad for a game night at The Mars'. Keith and Mac were in deep discussion about how Mac's graduate schooling was going, and Wallace was "fetching some libations for the group." He had conveniently used that little line when his cell started to ring. So Veronica, being Veronica, had discreetly followed him into the kitchen, wanting to know who was calling him. Originally Veronica assumed it was a mystery girl calling, but when she heard him say Logan's name, there was something that told her it wasn't a girl named Logan.

Veronica had quickly rushed back to the table, face flushed, which was returned with a quizzical look from Mac. Veronica avoided her stare, and Wallace made his way back with a beer for him and Keith.

"Hey! What about us, Fennel? What do the ladies have to do for a drink?" Mac demanded. Wallace looked at her and placed his hands over his heart.

"Well, with all your talk of equal opportunity, I thought it would be just wrong for me, as a man, to assume you can't handle yourselves!" he joked.

Mac slapped his arm playfully and pushed back her chair. "Well, in that case, I guess I better go get myself something to drink. Veronica, didn't you say you needed to show me something?"

Veronica furrowed her brow. Not that she could remember… She stood and followed her friend into the kitchen.

"Sooo," Mac said turning to Veronica. "Who called him? I wanted to follow him too, but you beat me to it! It was a girl, huh? God, Wallace would have a secret girlfriend..."

"You know, I couldn't tell," Veronica lied. Mac put her hands on her hips. Clearly she wasn't convinced.

"Veronica. You've solved murders. I don't believe that you couldn't figure out who he was talking to."

Veronica contemplating what she should say before she finally decided to ask, "Do you know why he would be talking to Logan?"

"Logan? As in Echolls, Logan?" Mac seemed pretty shocked so Veronica decided that Mac must be just out of the loop as she was.

"I'm pretty sure that's who called," Veronica admitted. Mac smiled , shaking her head.

"Weird." 

Veronica resisted rolling her eyes at her friend. She was very aware of the smirk that had slid across Mac's face.

"That's what I thought! But I'm not going to ask him. Plus, it doesn't even matter. He's part of my history. I'm not looking back."

Mac continued to smirk and nodded her head. Veronica hated when she did that.

"Seriously!" Veronica insisted.

"Whatever you say, Veronica," Mac laughed. She handed Veronica a beer from the fridge, and they both made their way back to the table.


	4. Chapter 4

When Logan finally woke up, it was a little past midnight. He glanced toward the TV and saw that some B list movie he couldn't name was playing. After flipping the TV off Logan closed his eyes again. The house was silent. Too silent. Frustrated, he sighed

_So this is what being a loner is like. Perhaps I should buy a Poe book on my Kindle._ He smiled cynically. He never really understood what it was like to be alone. All of his life he was surrounded by faces. Even if most of the time those relationships were shallow. Sometimes he wished he could just go back to his old habits of partying. It was easier to forget everything each night when you were stoned or drunk. It was much easier to party than it was to confront what was actually going on. But every following morning he always felt that empty feeling in the pit of his stomach, and Logan didn't want that anymore. He was an adult now.

_And I have to make sure_ somebody _doesn't end up dead in a ditch somewhere…_ Carrie. Logan glanced at his phone to see if he had finally gotten any word from her or Gia. Nothing. Carrie hadn't even texted him. Anger began to boil within him. How dare she do this to him? After everything he had done for her. After all the nights spent cleaning the vomit from her hair and holding her as she cried. All Logan asked was that she see him, sober, while he was home. Which wasn't often, he tried to remind her.

Logan chucked his phone at the ground. He was done— at least for tonight. On his way upstairs to grab a jacket, he passed the shattered phone without a second glance.

* * *

 

"Ohhh, my dear Wallace! You forget! I _made_ you! Come on. I mean after that whole flag pole incident? You would have dropped out the next day without me," Veronica laughed smugly— fully aware that she had drank much more than she had originally intended to.

Keith had already said his goodnights and headed to bed. Mac had to be up early the next day, so she had also departed. It was just Wallace and Veronica. Veronica's drunk mind was screaming for her to ask Wallace about Logan, but thankfully the voice of reason that usually guided her was holding her back.

"You think so? Imagine if I _had_ gone. What poor sucker would you have preyed on to get all those classified files?" he shot back.

"Touché, dear Wallace, touché."

They clinked their beer bottles together and drank.

"How many of these things have we had?" Wallace asked suddenly.

"I lost count after my rendition of 'Don't Stop Believing'," Veronica confessed. They both laughed and didn't stop until Keith's voice rang from his room.

"I love ya, kids, but keep it down! Old man trying to get his beauty sleep!"

Veronica covered her mouth to muffle her giggles.

"I should probably go. I have important things to do tomorrow." Wallace stood.

"Like call Logan back?" Veronica heard the question leave her mouth, but it was too late to take it back.

"You know, I was waiting for that to come up all night!" Veronica eyed him so he continued, "Yes, that was Logan. Your Logan…"

"Hey, he's not _my_ Logan," she protested.

"Sorry, Logan _Echolls_. He was in town, and we had a boys' night last night."

"A boys' night? Please don't refer to it as that, ever," she scoffed jokingly. 

"Well Logan has a better hold on his curiosity than you. He never even brought you up... Do you think he actually likes me, for _me_?" Wallace smiled mischievously. Veronica stayed silent. Trying to process was she was hearing.

_Why did he ask Wallace to hang out? The Logan I knew always had an entourage of idiots that would have gladly accompanied him to a bar…  people like Dick. Why didn't he ask Dick?_

"I'm going to leave you to your thoughts," Wallace said grabbing her attention. She just nodded and watched as her friend collected his things, wobbling a bit. "On second thought, why don't I call a cab?"

* * *

 

Logan walked along the beach. He was glad that his beach house was in Neptune rather than in a busier place down south. It was perfectly quiet aside from the small group of teenagers that were huddled around a bonfire about a mile away.

The sound of the ocean filled the air. Listening to the waves had always given him the most peace throughout his broken life. In some ways he wished that his surfboard was with there. Midnight surfing was a sure way to clear someone's head.

A shiver ran down Logan's spine as the wind picked up speed. Standing and staring at the waves, memories began to flood, and this beach held a lot of memories.

There was the time he, Lily, Duncan, and Veronica stopped at the beach after the dance. They had all drank past their limits and spilled secrets that were promised to never leave their circle. It had been a fun night until they came home to find everyone's appalled and disappointed parents.

Logan had gone home, knowing what to expect from Aaron.

"Choose a belt. Choose wisely," Aaron would taunt. Both knowing that no matter what belt Logan chose, it would still hurt like hell.

Logan winced at the memory. What should have been a night to remember, had been tainted by the memory of his abusive father.

But there were better times— times that weren't marred with ghosts from his past. Like the time that he and Veronica had spent an entire summer day laying around. He had finally convinced her to wear the bikini she liked to pretend she didn't own.

Veronica had complained that she would burn, but Logan had promised that with the correct amount of sunscreen she would be fine. But she _had_ burned… to a crisp actually, and he spent the next several days apologizing while plastering aloe across her back.

It was a memory that would always be simple and fun. Together, Veronica and Logan had been carefree for those short few weeks after graduating from Neptune. Planning everything out: the summer, college, life. Who would have guessed what a train wreck freshmen year ended up being.

Logan ran his fingers through his hair. It had been about two weeks since Logan had arrived back in California, and he had let his hair grow out a little. It was Logan's way of sticking it to The Man.

"Rough night?" a voice said from behind him. He whipped around to see who was addressing him. A blonde he had never seen before stood mildly gawking at him.

"You don't know the half of it," he muttered.

"Want a beer?" she asked holding up a six pack. He looked around wondering where she came from.

"Sure?" It came out more like a question than a reply.

She placed the beer on the ground and pulled out a blanket from the beach bag she had with her, spread it out and sat down. Logan watched awkwardly. He did _not_ feel like joining her.

She looked up at him curiously without saying a word. Finally, Logan gave in and sat down beside her. The mystery girl smiled and handed him a Corona.

"So, is this your thing? You pick up strange men on the beach, luring them with beer?" he asked lightheartedly.

She gave a small laugh before answering, "No. I usually prefer hanging outside biker bars. Those guys know how to have a fun time." He knew she was playing so he smiled and gave her a sideways look. The girl sat, drinking her beer while looking up at the stars. Logan found her to be pretty and probably in her twenties. Though the moonlight obscured his vision he could tell that she was a natural blonde and was very tan. She wore white jeans and a big fluffy cardigan.

"So what's your real story, blondie?" Logan pressed.

She didn't drop her eyes from the sky when she answered casually, "Honestly, you happened to be in my favorite spot on the beach. I figured I was going to stay, and you looked pretty peaceful, so I thought you might want to stay too." After a short silence, she finally looked back at him. "My name is Alice by the way. But you can call me Al."

"Well, Alice, I'm not sure I know you well enough to start calling you by pet names," he joked. She kept her gaze on him, and he realized he hadn't introduced himself. "Logan," he nodded pointing to himself. She nodded back and proceeded to lay down.

"You don't have to stay," she said quietly.

Part of Logan knew he should get up and go home. Carrie could be back, and she could need him. But as he watched Alice stare into the sky, he couldn't move.

_Veronica. She looks like_ her _. Just tanner…_ he decided.

Alice sat back up. She allowed their faces to be close, closer than Logan knew they should be.

He leaned in and kissed her. She kissed back.

_Damn it._ Was all he could think.

* * *

 

Veronica woke up on her bed, fully clothed from the night before. Her head pounded as the sunlight came through her window. However, the heavenly smell of food was drifting from the kitchen.

Slowly Veronica got up and headed to the bathroom to shower.

Once she was ready and presentable, she made her way into the kitchen. Keith was already sitting at the table reading the newspaper.

"Morning, Sunshine," he said without looking up.

"You do realize you're the best dad ever, right?"

Keith looked up at her and smiled. "Oh, I do what I can for my only, beloved daughter."

"What's the plans for the day?" she asked.

"The usual. Catching some asshole with his pants down. How about you. Any plans?"

"Well, everyone is at work, so I was thinking about heading to see Wallace at lunch. Maybe run into Mr. C. I'm sure he misses me."

"You have caused that man enough pain," Keith laughed. Veronica shrugged and took a bite of her toast.

* * *

 

"Veronica, fancy seeing you here in the halls of Neptune High." Mr. Clemmons gave a small smile. Veronica grinned back.

"You know what they say," she responded.

"No, what do they say, Veronica?"

"I'm really not sure, I was hoping you knew," she joked.

"We've missed you, Mars," he admitted bashfully before walking off.

Wallace showed up only a few minutes later.

"Please tell me I get to eat lunch in the teacher's lounge!" Veronica clasped her hands together in a begging manner.

"I eat outside. Spending eight hours a day inside this place? I need some fresh air!"

She let her hands fall to her side, and followed him to the courtyard. Outside students ate their lunches, grouped off by their cliques. She knew immediately who the 09ers were. They gathered around two large tables wearing only the most expensive designers. The girls ate small salads and the guys laughed as they made crude jokes.

"Glad to see some things don't change," she finally said as they sat down. Wallace raised an eyebrow and pointed to the table where they were eating.

"Do you even know where we're sitting?"

Veronica looked down and realized it was _their_ table. "Wallace, you mush."

He shrugged and opened his container. Veronica liked to play a big game. She never liked to let people know how she was really feeling. Part of her wanted to hug Wallace for taking her to a spot that weirdly meant so much to her, and the other part of her wanted to laugh at the fact they were grown adults eating at their high school table.

"So he didn't even ask about me?" she said suddenly, "Not even once?"

Wallace just shook his head and kept eating. He wasn't getting involved in Veronica's mess again.

Veronica bit her lip frustrated and confused.

_Why would Logan ask Wallace to hang out, only to avoid talking about me?_

"Believe it or not, Veronica, but we all have lives outside of your world," Wallace suddenly spoke up.

"I know…"

"He needed a friend, someone who would be real. How hard is it to believe that someone would want to hang out with me?"

"It's not, I just—"

"Thought he was still in love with you? That he would never move on?" Wallace cut her off again. He wasn't being fair, and she didn't know why he was getting so upset with her.

"You know that's not true."

The bell rang. Veronica stayed sitting as Wallace collected his things and stood up.

"He moved on. You need to move on too." And with that he turned and headed back inside. Leaving Veronica at an empty table surrounded by memories she would never be able to erase.

* * *

 

Logan woke up the next morning, slightly confused at his surroundings, until he remembered what had gone down the night before.

He looked at the girl lying beside him in bed.

"Shit," he whispered, "shit, shit, shit!"

He crawled out of her bed and found his pants on the floor. He slipped them on, and rushed out.

_Of all the stupid things you've done…_ His thoughts were cut short when he reached the outside. He had no idea where he was. He looked for any sign of his car, but determined that they must have gotten there in Alice's car.

"Leaving so soon?"

Logan twisted around to see Alice standing in the doorway wearing a long silk robe. Her blonde hair tousled around her shoulders. She really was beautiful.

_Yeah, and you really like that she looks like Veronica…_ he sighed.

"Uh, yeah. I didn't want to wake you. You seemed so… peaceful." He smiled as he threw her words from the previous night back at her. She smiled at his reference and nodded.

"Let me get shoes on, you'll need a ride."

"Great," he muttered after she went back into the house.

* * *

 

Alice dropped Logan off a few blocks before his house. He didn't want Carrie to see a gorgeous, blonde woman giving him a ride home. The ride was relatively quiet. Both knowing what last night had been.

"It was nice meeting you, Logan," she said before he got out.

"And you as well, Alice," he responded dryly. She gave a weak smile and he closed the door. He felt bad. It wasn't like him to do that shit anymore.

He walked solemnly back to his house. When he got home, he realized Carrie was still missing. He reached for his phone, and realized it sat shattered on his living room floor.

He shuffled through some drawers until he found his backup phone. When it had turned on he realized he had a message from Gia.

_Carrie is safe and crashing with me. XO Gia_

"That's reassuring."

He decided there was only one way to clear his mind so he went upstairs to change into his surfing gear.

* * *

 

Veronica sat on a bench watching the waves crash into the sand. She felt an ache tugging at her heart as she realized that this would have been prime Backup and Veronica time. Her furry best friend had died shortly after she started law school in New York. Veronica hadn't been able to bring him with her after she left home... Part of her would always feel guilty for that.

She stood, not wanting to be there any longer. But then she saw him... Logan. He was walking out of the water, board underneath a tanned and muscular arm. Standing frozen, heart racing she watched. After a few minutes she knew that she had to get out of there before he saw her. 

Veronica turned and tried to rush away without making a scene. She made it to her dad's car safely without being detected by Logan. Her breathing was short and her head was racing.

_How the hell can he still make this kind of effect on me?_ She silently scolded herself for being so juvenile about a boy.

She turned the key to the car and drove off, heading back to Mar's Investigations.


	5. Chapter 5

Veronica barely looked up from the receptionist desk when she heard the Mar's Investigation front door open and shut. She peeked from behind her laptop to see Mac slowly enter the room. She sat down on the couch next to the desk and began to nervously tap her foot.

"Cheating husband?" Veronica joked. Mac gave a half assed smiled back to Veronica's joke.

"Not _quite_."

"Well I haven't gotten any better at mind reading..." Mac closed her eyes and groaned. "Well, what is it, dammit! Don't make me beg!" Veronica demanded, her curiosity peaked.

This time Mac laughed making Veronica feel a little more at ease. Veronica wanted... no, _needed_ to know what was making Mac act so weird. She waited for Mac to speak, raising an eyebrow to urge her friend along.

"Okay," Mac sighed, "I _do_ have a case for you."

"Do you want me to get my dad?" Veronica began to stand up, but Mac shook her head adamantly.

"No, not your dad, Veronica. I was hoping _you_ would take it. But you're not going to like it." Mac breathed in sharply and focused her attention on Veronica's slightly shocked faced. Veronica couldn't help but to feel shocked. She hadn't worked a case since she left Neptune. She had sworn off the entire business of detective work. Mac knew that.

"Mac," Veronica began, but she stopped when she saw her friend's face begin to fall.

_Damn, she really wants me to do this. What could be so important to her?_

Intrigued Veronica caved, "Okay. I'm not saying I will, but what is this case you have?"

Mac smiled a sideways smile and answered, "Dick."

"Excusez-moi? Dick?" Veronica responded. "I think you've misunderstood what we do here... that's not quite the line of work—"

Mac didn't take the bate, and looking a bit bashful Mac continued to explain, "Dick _Casablancas_. He called me this morning. He's being accused of a hit and run. A girl was hit last night and she's in a coma in the hospital. He's looking at a hit and run and driving under the influence charge."

"I have to say, I'm not completely surprised that _Dick_ would wind up in this position. Mac, it seems like a pretty clear cut case against him, so what do you want me to do?" Veronica pressed.

"He wasn't driving the vehicle that hit that girl. In fact, he wasn't in that area at all."

"And you know this how exactly? I mean, Mac. Sure the guy's cute in his own douchebag, not a care in the world way, but it's not worth putting your neck on the line."

Mac looked down at the ground before answering. "I saw him, I mean… I was with him during the time of the crime," Mac rushed. When she looked back up at Veronica, her face was flushed. Veronica's mouth opened slightly from Mac's confession.

"Oh, Mac. Don't tell me you're—"

"No! No, it wasn't like that at all."

"So go to the police and give a testimony?" Veronica said confused.

Mac bit her lower lip. "Yeah, that's not going to happen. See, the thing is… He sort of had illegal substances in his system… And then there's the dealing…" Veronica's mouth was completely agape at this point.

"Mac. From the beginning! What exactly is going on!" she demanded.

Mac went on to tell Veronica about the previous night's events after she had left the Mars' house. She had been in bed when Dick had called her at one in the morning. She could tell he was incredibly wasted and he was mumbling about how he had messed up and needed her to come over as soon as she could. She had arrived at his flat in time to see a sleek brunette woman leaving with a rather large man. They didn't even give her a second glance as they passed her. When she finally saw Dick, he had been beaten pretty badly. Apparently he owed a lot of money to the man he was dealing drugs for, and he had been his usual asshole self to the messenger who showed up for the payout. The brunette was a prostitute paid by the dealer to lure Dick back to his place so that the messenger could find Dick and set him straight.

"I didn't even know you guys still talked?" Veronica commented, keeping her voice as cool as possible.

"We don't... very often. He likes to call when he's drunk or high…" Mac's voice trailed off. Veronica had always sensed intrigue for Mac on Dick's part. How much of that was platonic or romantic was harder to tell, but with Mac's story, Veronica's assumptions were correct. Part of her wanted to head to Dick's now and kick his ass for getting her best friend into this kind of mess.

"I would love to help, Mac. But you know I'm leaving to go back to New York in a couple of days. There's no way that's enough time to see this through."

"You don't have to see the entire thing through. Just talk to Dick. See if you can figure out why they're so sure he's the guy who did this. I can't go to the police with what I know because he'll still get charged with something."

"I'll see what I can do," Veronica promised.

* * *

 

Mac stood next to Veronica as she knocked on Dick's door. The door swung open, full force and revealing a drunken, smiling Dick.

"You know, I think I had a dream that started this way, once," Dick laughed. He raised his hand for a high five, and Mac saw Veronica close her eyes as she tried not to cringe. Mac on the other hand just stared cold into his face, willing him to keep his mouth shut.

"Do you really think that this is the time to be making jokes?" Veronica's annoyed voice spoke before Mac had the chance to say anything. Veronica was always so hard on him. She didn't understand that he was the outcome of the environment he grew up in. Or maybe she did, but she didn't care. Mac couldn't help but feel sorry for Dick. He lived a shallow and empty life to numb the real world he lived in. Mac had seen the real Dick a few times before. He was open and honest. It was almost scary to see his bloodshot defeated eyes like that.

"Ronnie, always a pleasure. You're such a joy to be around," Dick continued dismissively. Mac looked at Veronica who looked unfazed.

"Are you going to let us in, or do you only allow _hookers_ into your lair," Veronica questioned, her voice was just as sharp as before. His eyes widened a bit with annoyance and motioned for them to enter.

"Before you go all 'Sherlock Holmes' on me, Mars, how about you sit down and relax a bit. Geeze, you're totally ruining my buzz right now."

"I don't have much time Dick," Veronica returned. He just shrugged and took a swig of his beer so she continued, "I need you to tell me exactly why they think it was you who was involved in this accident."

"Easy. It was my car that hit her." Dick's matter of fact attitude toward the hit and run sounded as if he were talking about what he had for dinner the night before. As Mac watched the interaction between Veronica and Dick she began to feel as though she made a huge mistake bringing Veronica into this. At that moment, Veronica's lips were pursed and she was clearly annoyed by his flippant attitude toward the whole thing; she was tilting her head and signaling for him to continue. Mac knew she needed to intervene.

"His car was stolen a few days ago," Mac chimed in. Trying to defuse the situation was not one of Mac's strong suits, but she was going to try her damnest. 

Dick pointed at Mac, "She's right. It was stolen three days ago."

"Did you report it?" Veronica asked.

"No."

"You didn't report your car being stolen?" Veronica asked incredulously.

"I have another one. I was going to get around to it." He shrugged. Mac closed her eyes again. Once again she was reminded that Dick wasn't the brightest person they knew. She heard Veronica sigh.

"Give me the license, the type, and all the information about the carjacking that you have. That's where we'll start."

Dick nodded and headed out of the living room. A few minutes later he returned with a piece of paper and handed it to Veronica as she stood.

"As for your little habit of being intoxicated," Veronica sighed and pointed at his beer can, "you might want to slow down." Both Mac and Dick watched Veronica turn on her heel and stomp off. 

Mac took a glance at Dick who smiled. "Habit? It's a _lifestyle_ , Ronnie! Loosen up a bit. Let your hair down!" He shook his hips playfully. "Hey! There's a party that's supposed to be bitchin'! You two should stop…"

"No." Veronica said firmly before exiting the flat.

Dick tilted his head and smiled at Mac.

"I'll try to talk to her," she told him before rolling her eyes. Mac avoided the smile that was creeping up.

He clapped, "Yes! It'll be like high school all over!"

"We didn't _ever_ hang out in high school," she reminded him, "And I try to stay away from things that are like my high school days...." But Dick wasn't listening, he was texting. She sucked in her breath slightly agitated, and followed Veronica's lead out of his flat, shutting the door behind her.

* * *

 

Logan stepped out of the shower, and as he entered his bedroom, he realized that Carrie was home. She was slipping out of her previous night's dress, and had pulled down the sheets of their bed.

She noticed him watching her and smiled, "Hey, babe," she said quietly. He knew she was worried he was upset with her. But as she stood there, her hair falling down her back in her bra and underwear, he couldn't be mad.

_Not to mention, I sort of slept with some random woman I met on the beach. Damn, Logan. Are we in tenth grade again?_

He felt a gnawing at his stomach. He was incredibly guilty for what he had done. He couldn't tell Carrie though, she would have one of her freak outs. He couldn't meet her eyes and he thought for a moment he may throw up.

He knew better than to go back to his old ways. He wasn't that asshole who dated the bitch Lily anymore. His and Lily's games that they tormented each other with never ended with anything but regret and heartache. It was twisted and it wasn't fair to anyone involved so he had promised he would never have that kind of relationship again. Carrie didn't play games… much. Sure, she didn't listen and she was wasting her life and nights away, but at least he knew what he got with her. Plus he knew deep down she was a good person. She cared about him, but she was just messed up. Which he couldn't hold against her. Clearly he was fucked up too.

He watched as Carrie crawled into her side of the bed. "Care to join me, love?" she cooed. He felt his body stiffen. Yes. Yes, he wanted to join her. But he had cheated. He couldn't possibly lay next to her and pretend all was well in the world, could he?

She waited, eyeing him playfully. He finally met her gaze. Her eyes were sparkling mischievously. A smile crept across his face, and he crawled into bed with her.

But they didn't kiss. They didn't go crazy like they used to. They laid in silence, focusing on each other's breathing. They both laid on their backs, and were inches away from touching. Logan sensed her nearness, but neither made the first move to touch. That's when his phone went off on the nightstand next to him. He rushed to check who it was.

_Alice… How the hell does she have my number? I gave her my number?_

"Who is it?" Carrie's voice cut through his thoughts. He quickly deleted the message without looking at it and threw the phone back onto the stand.

"Just a buddy from the Navy," he lied. He turned to look at her. She seemed to look uncertain by his quick answer.

_She knows._ That thought was terrifying, and it was irrational. She couldn't possibly know, he decided.

He laid his head back down on his pillow and she curled next to him. She breathed slowly and softly. He wanted to ask how her night had been, what she had done, where she was, but he couldn't form any sentences. They didn't do much talking anymore. In fact, they seemed like different people than when they first started this thing. She would argue he was too rigid and he would say that she was slowly killing herself with the way she lived.

He soon realized, by her heavy breathing, that she was asleep. He kissed the top of her head. He felt her breath on his neck. Turning to face her, he stared into her face. It was the one thing that still seemed like the old Carrie. He brushed her hair out of her face and watched her sleep for a while. He wasn't even close to falling asleep, so he kissed her gently before sliding out of the bed.

Carrie opened one eye. "Where you goin'?"

"Well, sweet pea, thought I would let you catch up on that beauty sleep of yours. We both know you've been losing out on that," he replied with his dry sense of humor.

She smiled and rolled over. "You are _such_ a weirdo," she yawned.

"Ahh, but I'm _your_ weirdo," he quipped. She raised her hand lazily and dismissively. So he left his sleeping beauty to dream away.

* * *

 

"No. I will _not_ , Mac. Absolutely not. I could count _so_ many worse things that I would rather do than go to a 09er party."

Mac was persistent about attending the party Dick had mentioned. She started to wonder if Mac was telling the whole truth about what was going on with her and Dick.

"Come on. It _could_ be fun. I hate parties myself, but I think we might find some helpful information about the case if we snoop around," she argued back.

"Gauge my eyes out using only chopsticks. That's one thing I would rather do. Perhaps dive into a pool of hot glue..." Mac rolled her eyes but kept a firm look. "Oh! I know! Eat my own liver!"

"Veronica, please. We both know you could come up with better things than that," Mac giggled. Veronica smirked and smacked her arm. "But seriously," she continued, "I think it could help you out. If we realize there is no information to be found, we can leave immediately." Mac crossed her heart.

Veronica sat, contemplating her choices. She hated the fact that Mac was right.

"Since when did _you_ become the fun one?" Veronica caved. Mac smiled knowing she had just beat Veronica Mars.

"Since my only girl best friend decided to run away to New York City," she shot back. Veronica gasped dramatically.

"I still have my best friend charm bracelet though! BFF's for life, sista!" Veronica lifted her wrist as if she were wearing the fake bracelet. Mac just shook her head.

"Should we call Wallace?" Mac asked devilishly. They both knew he wouldn't be happy to hear their plan to crash a party on the beach. He would argue that they were functioning adults who didn't need to behave like children. But, of course, he would cave. She _was_ Veronica Mars after all.

* * *

 

Somehow Carrie had roped Logan into going to this bonfire that Dick's friend was throwing. He hadn't seen much of his best friend lately; they ran in different crowds nowadays.

"Remind me again, why I _have_ to go?" Logan sighed as he sat on the edge of their bed. Carrie was busy trying on different outfits. She always had to look her best. Cameras followed where she went.

"Because, Dick is your best friend, and you're done being a loser."

"What you call loser, I call adult."

"What you call adult, I call lame," she quipped back. He laughed. She was partially right. He was always so worried about her safety and that she would get out of control, he rarely did anything fun anymore.

"Well, I'm only doing this, this one time." Carried emerged from their walk in closet in a long beach dress and flowy cardigan. She looked extremely bohemian. He caught her hands and pulled her close to him. "Carrie," he said quieter, "promise me, you won't go too far tonight. Just a couple of drinks, like a normal party should be?" She didn't look into his eyes, but she promised that she would behave.

He let go of her hands and she immediately went back to her bouncy self. Shuffling across the room gathering all of her necessities for the night: handbag, beach towels, sandals. Once she was ready she smiled and looked at Logan impatiently.

"What? Is there somewhere we're supposed to be?" he pretended to be confused. She lifted her head back and gave an exasperated laugh.

"Get your ass up, Echolls!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered.

* * *

 

Mac searched the beach for Dick, and found him shot-gunning beers a little past the huge bonfire they had created behind some dude's beach house.

_Calvin, Chris, Carter… What is his name…_

Veronica, Wallace, and Mac passed by the trashed partiers and made their way towards Dick.

"If I have to be here, I'm going to use this time to drink top shelf alcohol for free," Wallace said facing the girls. He rubbed his hands together with a smile on his face and left Mac and Veronica alone. A group of guys ran past them yelling and laughing obnoxiously.

"Good Lord, they start early," Veronica said to nobody in particular. She was right, however. It was barely sunset, and almost everyone there was already out of their minds.

"What? You don't find parties like these in New York?" Mac joked. She saw Veronica's face get more serious. She hoped she didn't hurt her feelings.

"Fuck," she whispered.

"What?" Mac questioned.

"Piz, I haven't talked to him since I've been here. He probably thinks I've been kidnapped by my dad," she responded halfheartedly.

Mac was going to say something to make Veronica feel better, but Dick ran up to meet them.

"Mac Attack, my girl! Glad to see you could convince Miss Grumpy Gills to join us," Dick said motioning his head towards Veronica. She didn't look amused.

"Dick, just the guy I was looking for. How about we slow down on the drinking. Might want to think about who of your friends is framing you for a hit and run," Veronica snapped back at him.

Dick's face scrunched, confused. "What makes you think it was a friend of mine?"

"Just a hunch," Veronica replied. She started to scour the crowd. Mac wondered who she might be looking for. Maybe Wallace?

"Well, I have a surprise for you, Ronnie. So don't be so bitchy," Dick taunted. Mac looked at him, trying to signal she wasn't aware of any surprise. He just winked back at Mac and continued, "Ronnie. You even listening? I swear, it's like talking to one of my maid's. Goes in one ear and out the…"

"What Dick. What is this surprise?" Veronica returned annoyed.

"Logan," was his simple answer.

Mac and Veronica stared at Dick as he looked back and forth between the two girls.

"What do you mean, Logan?" Mac finally broke the silence.

"I invited him and Carrie. They'll show. He like owes me for bailing so many times. He knows if he's a no show again, I'll send a search quad out for him. Plus I may have told him it's my last party before I head to the clinker."

"Search _squad_ ," Mac corrected him.

"Whatever. Anyway, he'll be here. Keep an eye out!"

And with that he swaggered off. Finding some drunk girls that were dancing to the loud thumping music.

"We can leave," Mac whispered into Veronica's ear.

But that's when she saw what Veronica's wide eyes were looking at. Logan and Carrie were getting out of Logan's car. Veronica looked back at Mac, and she knew her best friend wanted desperately to leave. Or maybe she wanted to stay. Mac couldn't ever tell with those two. Seeing Carrie's arms wrapped around him as they both smiled and laughed couldn't feel great, though, Mac decided.

"I'll just avoid them," Veronica muttered, "I still have a case to solve."

* * *

 

Veronica kept a close eye on Logan and Carrie as she slipped in and out of the crowd of people. She thanked the Neptune gods that this party was as big as it was. There was no conceivable way that she would bump into Logan if she kept her distance at all times.

She had drunk witnesses and friends of Dick to keep her mind off of the fact that he was so near. In fact, she was getting a lot of good information from all of the people Dick sent her to. Drunk people had a way of spilling information without a lot of care.

Once she had collected what she wanted she found Mac sitting alone on a log near the fire.

Veronica found Wallace and the two of them headed back to Mac.

"You get everything?" Mac asked. She seemed tired.

"It took a while, but yeah, I think this is all I'll be able to get out of anyone here. Everyone is either leaving or too wasted to even make a coherent sentence."

"Let's go home," Mac said as she stood. Veronica nodded in agreeance.

"You know, I think I'll stay," Wallace replied.

Veronica gave him a weird look and laughed, "All it takes is the good alcohol, and you just decide to be one of them," she said shaking her head sarcastically.

He shrugged and smiled, "What can I say, I'm easily persuaded. Plus, look at all of these beautiful women!"

"Yuck, use protection," Mac retorted laughing. Wallace just smiled.

Veronica and Mac said their goodbyes and left. They slipped quietly past Logan and his group of friends and to Veronica's relief he hadn't seen her.

The car ride was mostly silent. She knew Mac felt bad for dragging her to a party where she had to witness Logan and his girlfriend flirt all night. But Veronica wasn't angry with Mac, she couldn't have known. Veronica focused on the road and let Mac have her silence.

* * *

 

After Veronica got home, she sat on her bed staring at the empty white wall. She had dropped Mac off at her house and had come straight back to her dad's house. He was already fast asleep, the old geezer. It was only a little past midnight.

Part of her was tempted to go back to the party and see if Logan was still there. Maybe if they talked, everything could be okay again. They could be friends. But then she saw Piz's face in her mind, and she would get angry all over again.

Once someone did something that stupid, she wasn't one to forget and forgive easily. Then there was that voicemail. The vitriol in his voice. He was so angry at her. She wasn't even sure if he _would_ talk to her if she did go back to the party.

She finally decided to call Wallace and see if he was still there. She was unsurprised when he told her that he was. He told her the party was in full swing, and she should come back. Begrudgingly, she accepted his offer.

* * *

 

Once Mac and Veronica were long gone, and after a few more drinks, Wallace made his way to Logan. He and Carrie were now sitting near the fire. Their heads close together deep in conversation. They both seemed happy.

When Logan saw Wallace approaching he shot up and have him a hug, "Wallace, my man, what brought you to this side of Hell?"

"You know me, when free alcohol is offered, I'm there," he joked back. Logan laughed knowing he was referencing their guys' night.

"Well, Wallace, you remember Carrie right?"

"Uh, yeah," Wallace replied. How could he forget? He was in the same class that she outed their teacher to the world. He had been the one to steal her permanent file for Veronica as she went on a crusade to prove Carrie wrong. Oh, he knew Carrie alright.

"You were the basketball player at Neptune High," Carrie said pointing to him, "Ve _ron_ ica's friend," she said a bit colder. Wallace watched Logan stiffen at the sound of her name. It made him wonder how many times she had ever been brought up in Logan and Carrie's relationship.

"That would be me," he replied, trying to sound like he wasn't feeling as awkward as he really was.

"Well, sit, have a drink, and join us," she said smiling. He couldn't tell if she was truly trying to be nice or if she was faking it for Logan's sake. Either way he wasn't going to refuse. He plopped down in a lawn chair across from the couple.

Logan sat back down next to Carrie and gave her cheek a kiss.

"So, Wallace, what are your Thanksgiving plans?" Logan asked.

"Just dinner with my mom and bro. The usual. You?"

"Well, Carrie's parents are whisking her away to Cancun, so I'll be eating pizza and drinking beer while watching the football game. You should come over if you have time."

"Yeah, sounds fun, I'll try to be there," Wallace smiled.

He was happy that Logan was trying to be his friend. He was almost sure it was genuinely for him and not for information on Veronica. He had always felt a "bro" connection between him and the guy. But then things with Piz and Veronica got in the way of that. He had to choose Piz, for Veronica's sake. He knew she needed him more than he needed a guy friend in Logan. But now that the years had passed, and Veronica and Piz were in New York, he thought maybe hecould finally get to know Logan. He could finally have a good guy friend to throw back some beers with every once in a while. He loved Keith, but their bro nights were always a little awkward, and there was no way in hell he would ever tell Keith half of the things he told Logan when they were at the bar.

Carrie whispered something in Logan's ear. He nodded and she stood and left, leaving the two guys.

"So how are things going with that?" Wallace said nodding his head toward Carrie.

"The usual," Logan echoed sarcastically.

"That good, huh?"

Logan didn't reply, instead he took a swig of his beer.

"So how's…" Logan started, but Wallace was looking at his phone. He answered it and mouthed, _one second_.

"Hey. Yeah, I'm still here. Oh there's plenty of party left. You should come back! Oh come one, don't be so _antisocial_. You're only here for a few more days! Good, you'll thank me later. Okay see you soon, grandma."

Wallace hung up the phone and looked back at Logan. "Sorry," he said. He knew he was a little buzzed so he was hoping Logan wouldn't ask who it was because he didn't have the patience to lie and keep up with this little cat and mouse game Logan and Veronica were playing.

"A friend or is your grandma really going to come party with us?" Logan smiled.

_Aw, shit._

"Veronica," Wallace confirmed. Logan nodded, and Wallace realized Logan had already figured as much.

"I heard she took on Dick's case," he said with a little less spunk than he had earlier.

"You know Veronica. When she's asked to put on that trench coat and magnified glass, she can't say no," he replied, trying to make the conversation a little lighter. Logan smiled.

"A natural Nancy Drew," he laughed back. Logan ran his hands through his hair as he sighed.

Changing the conversation, Wallace said, "If you don't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, I'm sure my mom would be more than willing to make an extra spot for you at the table."

"I appreciate that, and I'll let you know," Logan smiled. He took another long drink from his beer, emptying it. "I need more," he said as he stood. He left Wallace sitting in the lawn chair alone, and Wallace knew he wouldn't be coming back to join him. Not when the presence of Veronica Mars was looming in the air.

* * *

Veronica sat in her dad's car for about ten minutes before getting out. She knew Wallace was waiting for her somewhere down at the bonfire, and she didn't want him to think she bailed.

She spotted him drinking in a lawn chair near the fire, talking to a big chested bimbo who was flashing more than her smile with how low her dress was.

"Wallace!" Veronica called. He looked up and smiled while lifting up his red plastic cup.

"Grandma!" he called back. She grabbed a drink off the table of beverages before heading over to her best friend.

"How's the party been?" she asked him once she was sitting in the warm sand beside Wallace's chair.

"Well, if we're judging by drinks and ladies, pretty good," he replied. He was definitely buzzed, if not drunk.

"Slow down, muchacho. I need about five of these things to catch up to you," she laughed.

"Well, drink up," he said, draining his drink.

Veronica shook her head happily, and chugged the cup of what tasted like rum and Coke.

"I'll go get us more," she told Wallace. She stood and headed back to the table.

* * *

 

Logan had spotted her the second she got out of her car. She was wearing skinny jeans and a black V-neck. Her hair was longer than when he had last seen her, and it was curled. She looked amazing. He tried to focused his attention back onto Carrie who was telling a group of their friends about her upcoming red carpet event. She stopped for a second when she spotted Veronica.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," she said under her breath. She looked up at Logan who was forcing himself to stare at the group of people that surrounded them. He looked down at her as if he had no idea was she was talking about. This seemed to please her so she continued her story.

Ten excruciating minutes later, the two walked back to Carson's back porch. He had a large infinity pool and two underground hot tubs, and Carrie wanted to test them out.

"I think we should make an underground hot tub for our own back porch," she told him.

"Whatever you want," Logan answered quietly. He stepped into the hot tub, which was surprisingly empty. Carrie stripped of her sundress and dove into the pool. A few of the guys that were swimming whooped and hollered at the sight of her. Logan rolled his eyes, not really caring that she had made an entrance like that solely for that type of reaction.

She waded with the group of guys and girls and Logan watched as they all took shots.

"Logan," Carrie whined from the pool, "Join us."

"I'd _much_ prefer the view from here," he replied wickedly. She pouted, but turned to her new friends.

"Would you like a drink?" a man dressed in slacks and a white button up asked. He realized Carson must have had a staff come in to wait on the guests.

"Sure, surprise me, but make it strong."

The man nodded and walked off. Logan was going to need to be much more drunk if he was going to make it through the night.

* * *

 

Veronica was on her fourth drink, and Wallace had quit at his, he had guessed, eighth drink. The two of them were fully aware that they were drunk, but neither really cared.

"I'll race you to the ocean," Veronica laughed. Wallace looked towards the waves.

"It seems too far," he complained. But Veronica didn't wait for an answer, she rushed off, getting a head start. She felt a little silly being an adult woman, drunk off her ass on a beach, racing her best friend to the water, but she felt liberating and she was having fun for the first time in ages.

When she finally reached where the water crashed into the sand, she stopped and stared into the dark horizon. Wallace showed up behind her after a few minutes. He plopped down into the wet sand and stared at the moon.

"I miss hanging out with you," he said. His voice sounded a bit sad.

"Me too," Veronica sighed. She sat down next to Wallace and hugged her knees. She realized much too late that her jeans were getting soaked, but she decided she didn't care. She looked down at her bare feet and wondered where she had put her shoes.

"You'll come home eventually," Wallace said in a matter of fact tone. She gave him a sideways glance.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You don't hate it as much as you say you do."

He was right of course. She never liked to admit how much she missed home. She hated the class war, the corrupt government and justice system, and she hated the lack of diversity, but it was home. She almost hoped he was right about her coming home, but she knew that she had to try to stay away. She had to give herself the best shot at a normal and a successful life as she could.

"Maybe," was all she could say back. Wallace sat there for a few more minutes with her. Neither said a word. They just watched the waves coming and going through the night.

"I need to get home," he said finally. She nodded and he left her to sit in silence alone.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, it felt like hours, until someone's voice made her jump.

"Veronica?"

She turned to look up at a tall figure standing in the moonlight.

"Logan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I add each chapter, I am re-reading and self editing. If there are any glaring mistakes, just lemme know, and I'll fix them! I added bondopoulos as a beta later on in the story, so bear with my self edited chapters!!


	6. Chapter 6

Logan stared at Veronica for a while before either of them started talking. He took in the scene: she was sitting on the sand in the moonlight and was clearly intoxicated. Even in the darkness of the night he could tell that her eyes were glossy. He realized that she was sitting in soaking jeans and a short sleeve in the sixty degree weather when she suddenly shivered. In that moment he wished he had a jacket to offer her, but he had forgotten to pack his usual zip up hoodie.

"You should try out the hot tub," he motioned awkwardly behind him.

_Try out the hot tub? What the hell? Of all of the things I could have said for the first time to her, I chose_ that _._

"I've heard that hot tubs and drinking tend to end in disasters… or was it babies?" she joked back. He looked down at her drunken, smiling face.

"Well, one would argue that a baby _is_ a disaster."

There was another prolonged silence as she turned her attention away from Logan and back onto the crashing waves. He watched them too, not sure how to handle the situation he had gotten himself into. He had seen her and Wallace run off like idiots, and once Wallace had left, Logan had mustered enough courage to approach Veronica. Carrie's attention was drawn elsewhere, and he knew this would probably be his best shot at getting any sort of time alone with her tonight.

"Look at us, being normal and stuff," he stated sarcastically. He decided to sit next to her as it was obvious she had no intention of going anywhere anytime soon.

She gave him a sideways glance as he plopped down next to her. "How have you been?" she asked more seriously.

"Oh you know. Punching strangers, kicking dogs, stealing candy from babies… the usual," he responded lightheartedly. When he looked to see her reaction, he realized he hadn't answered in the way she was looking for. "I've been good, V. How have you been?"

"I've been well," was all she replied. He realized that neither of them wanted to talk, their stubborn streaks were becoming blaringly obvious.

_I didn't think this through very well. I mean what am I supposed to say, "Hey Veronica, it's been a couple years, and the last thing you heard from me was an angry, drunk message, but how are you? Want to be friends? Check yes or no._

"Won't your super hot, super famous girlfriend be wondering where you are?"

From what he could tell there was no evidence of venom in her voice, but her words seemed harsh.

"She's… preoccupied at the moment, amongst other things," he replied.

_She actually has a drug and alcohol problem, love to chat about it, but I don't even talk to_ her _about it, and I don't want to bore you with the dirty secrets of Logan Echolls…_

"How'd you know about us?" he asked suddenly.

"Logan. I don't live under a rock. New York City _is_ on this planet after all," she smiled.

"So People Mag?" he responded tossing a rock into the water.

"Amongst other things," she echoed back.

"Weird, I've never pictured you as a tabloid kind of girl," he looked at her with a smirk. He watched as she widened her eyes in fake shock.

" _What_? How else am I going to know whether The Kardashian clan has taken over the planet?"

"Last I heard, that was _your_ ammo- taking over the world and such," he dryly countered.

He found himself watching her shake her head while she smiled her beautiful smile. He must have been staring for too long because she scratched her head and looked at her feet awkwardly.

"How _is_ New York?" he asked quietly.

"Cold," she laughed. She continued to look at her feet.

_So this is how it's going to be? Awkward tension in the air. One word sentences? What did I expect? That she would run into my arms and declare her undying love for me? Hardly. That ship has sailed._

"I should go…" he heard her say. Her voice trailed off as she looked up at his face. He simply nodded, understanding why she needed to go.

_I've been an ass. Why would she want to talk to the jerk who likes to leave angry voicemails? The guy who beat up the one nice, uncomplicated guy she had ever had the chance to be with?_

It suddenly donned on him that he never quite knew what happened between Veronica and Piz. He had always assumed they didn't work, being in different states and all. Most of Logan's days after their freshman year had been wiped from his memory due to all of the alcohol and drugs. After he cleaned up he had been so busy with the Navy and Carrie that he hadn't really had the chance to think about her and what she might be doing now.

_Until she decided to come home. Then all hell breaks loose._

He waited for Veronica to leave, but she never moved from where she sat. He patiently waited for her to make a move, any move.

_Say something. Do something._ He willed her.

* * *

 

Every fiber of her being was on fire. Logan was within inches of her, and she was internally losing all control. She wanted to run away and never look back, yet she was frozen in place. Being drunk wasn't helping her situation out either.

"I… I _really_ need to be going," she tried again. She waited for a response, but she never got one. Logan just sat there staring into the ocean.

_Can he hear me? Is he ignoring me? Dammit Logan, say_ something _._

"Can I see you before you leave?" he asked as she began to stand up.

Her heart stopped as she looked down into his serious face. Serious Logan was always so good looking.

"I don't know… I have a lot to do before heading back home," she said. She realized she had called New York home. It didn't sit well in her stomach. New York wasn't home.

"In that case," he said standing with her, "It has been good to see you. Take care, Veronica."

He slowly turned and began to walk away, and she realized she had about two seconds to make a final decision.

"Wait!" she called. She slapped her hands over her mouth.

_I am so drunk. I can't make this type of decision in this state of mind._

Logan turned to face her, his eyes searching hers.

"I'll let you know… whether… whether I'll see you again," she stammered stupidly. As the words left her mouth she began to kick herself. This was stupid. She was being stupid.

A smile crept onto Logan's serious face, and she knew she had given him hope at a second meeting. She couldn't say no now, she wasn't that cruel.

"Alright, I'll talk to you later," he nodded. And with that he walked away, leaving Veronica feeling very confused about what had just occurred. She had spent the entire night avoiding him, and here she was agreeing to meet with him.

She looked down at her bare feet, "Shit."

* * *

 

When Veronica woke up the next morning she had a headache the beat all hangover headaches she had ever had. She thought about the events that had occurred the previous night, and wondered if she had dreamed it all up. There was no way she had talked to Logan. But as she looked down at her cell phone she realized she had a text from him.

_V, it's Logan. I hope this is still your number. Don't forget to let me know what you've decided. You were pretty drunk last night, I wasn't sure if you'd remember. –L_

She threw her phone back on the ground and sighed. One meeting couldn't hurt. A meeting meant closure. Closure meant moving on.

She picked her phone back up and responded.

_L, meet me at that little coffee shop off of 8_ _th_ _St. I'll be there at 11. See you soon. –V_

She smiled. Java the Hut was hardly just a little coffee shop off of 8th, and she hoped her casual coolness would drive Logan insane. There. It was settled. She pushed the covers off of her and got up to get ready. She was going

* * *

 

It hadn't taken much time for Logan to get ready. Carrie was nowhere to be found when he had woken up that morning. He figured from the looks of her side of the bed, she had never come home, but he wasn't surprised.

He didn't initially want to text Veronica, but he realized she might not even remember they had talked. After he had messaged her, he waited nervously for her response, which he received about forty five minutes later.

_She said yes._ He thought incredulously. He breathed a sigh of relief. Up until that point he really wasn't sure what she was going to decide.

Within the next hour he was parking at Java the Hut. Veronica's car was already there.

He stepped inside the loud coffee house. He hadn't been there since high school, but it hadn't changed in the slightest. He recalled the days he would visit The Hut to watch Veronica work in that little uniform of hers. He spotted Veronica in a corner booth. She was sipping a coffee as she stared intently into a newspaper.

"Hey, grandma, what's new in Neptune?" he asked referencing the paper as he sat down across from her.

She looked up from the paper long enough to show a classic Veronica smile.

"The sheriff department is a mess, which is _not_ news… Let's see… Another bomb threat at Neptune High…"

"Without Veronica Mars in town, the crime rate has rapidly inclined. We're practically Sodom and Gomorrah," he joked. She rolled her eyes and put the paper down.

"First, I'd like to apologize for last night… I was a mess," she started.

"I've seen worse," he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. He knew she had to admit this was true. Stomach flu, crying, physically hurt… he'd seen it all.

"Regardless…" her voice was soft as she spoke.

"So how do we do this? Pretend like we're old buddies catching up? Yell at each other? Silently sulk from either side of the table?" he half-joked, trying to make her feel a little better.

When she didn't respond, he scratched the back of his neck.

"So the latter," he continued.

"I really don't know how this works," she responded curtly.

_Aaand she pissed. Glad to know I'm still good at making her mad…_

"I guess, I came here for some closure," she said a little louder and more confidently.

"So let's do this. What do you want to talk about…"

Veronica cut him off, "Because I'm seeing Piz, and I want it to work this time."

Well, there was his answer to what he was wondering the night before. She _was_ with him.

"I'm seeing Carrie." It was supposed to be a joke, but he could hear the frustration in his voice. She folded her arms across her chest. She clearly wasn't amused. Logan felt anger rising in his chest. Why did she feel the need to throw Piz in his face? He hadn't realized closure meant playing "my horse is bigger than your horse."

"I'm still mad that you left that message," she finally pushed back.

"I'm still mad you never called back," he argued.

Her mouth fell open. He silently reprimanded himself for his stupid response. Of course she hadn't called back. He had specifically told her not to.

"That's not fair," she replied with a rise in her voice. He could sense the hurt and the anger she was feeling.

"I know… Forget it."

_Cue the awkward silence._ Logan wished he had gotten a coffee before sitting down. He was jealous that Veronica could avoid speaking by her continual sipping of her coffee.

"How's Dick's case?" Logan asked, changing the subject.

_So much for closure,_ he thought darkly. But the change of subject seemed to put her at ease.

She relaxed a bit before replying, "Actually, I do have a couple leads that I'm going to follow up on today." Her voice perked up as she spoke. Logan smiled to smugly with the found knowledge that she was still the same old Veronica who loved talking about her cases. _At least some things don't change._

"So you're still in the business, eh?"

"No," she returned slowly, "Mac really wanted me to help out, so I'm doing what I can until I return home."

_Home._ It was the second time she had referred to New York City as home. There was something about her saying it that cut him like a knife. He had always assumed that she still considered Neptune home, but as they sat there, he realized how much time had lapsed. They were twenty four years old and they both were on their way to becoming functioning adults. Both were in adult relationships...

_If you can consider Carrie an adult,_ he sighed.

"I've missed talking to you," he admitted after a while. Veronica was staring at his folded hands on the table.

She didn't meet his eyes when she said, "That's not why I came here today." There was something in her voice that warned him this wasn't the direction he had hoped she would take their meeting.

"Veronica, listen…"

"I can't," she cut him off. She finally looked into his eyes, and he saw the guilt and sadness she was trying to conceal. "I can't be your friend. I can't talk to you. Do you know how hard it would be to move on with Piz if I were to have you in my life?" she continued. He listened with a knot forming in his stomach.

"I get it," he said with the words almost catching in his throat. She bit her lip and looked down at her coffee. He waited for her to move or tell him to leave. When she did none of these things, he shifted his weight and impulsively grabbed her hands into his own.

"But the thing is," he spoke softly, "I think it would be okay for us to be friends. We won't ever see each other. I could email you… or brush up on my letter making skills," he chuckled. He knew she was trying hard not to smile at the thought of Logan being a pen pal.

"Logan…"

"No, Veronica, let me get this out," he continued, "it can work. I won't get in the way," he promised.

"It's not like that… I mean, I wasn't worried…" she stopped. He could tell she was having a hard time deciding what to say. He waited patiently, however, for her to collect her thoughts. He didn't want to push her too far because he knew her, and he knew she shut down when she felt pressured.

"I just don't think I can," she whispered as she withdrew her hands from him.

* * *

 

Her heart pounded as she reinforced her decision to cut things off. Veronica wondered how they got in the exact same place again, it felt like déjà vu, having to kick him out of her life again. How many times were they going to have to remind themselves that they couldn't be in each other's lives?

She tried to keep her eyes off of his face. She didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes. He had put himself out there, and she had stomped all over any small hope he had of a friendship. At least now they could say they reconciled, and they ended things in a better place. They didn't have to be angry with each other anymore, and they could finally move on from this.

When she finally brought herself to look at him, she saw that he was staring at her. He didn't seem angry or even upset with her. He looked a little sad, but he gave her a small, knowing smile. It wasn't forced which made her feel a little better.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Logan._ She kept repeating through her head. She wanted to say it out loud, but she was too stubborn to admit that he wasn't wrong to believe that she wanted the friendship he was offering. She knew, though, if they were to try to be friends, he _would_ get in the way. You couldn't be friends with someone you still loved, someone you had known so intimately before. She knew Piz would never feel comfortable with the situation, even if he never said so. Nothing good could come from a friendship with Logan.

_Nothing good? More like it would be_ too _good. Come on, Veronica, don't lie to yourself._

"Seeing you has been really nice, V. I just want you to realize how sorry I am for how everything ended last time… our freshman year. I was a jackass," Logan was saying.

"We were both in a bad place. I'm really sorry too."

It was always hard for her to say sorry and admit when she was wrong, but it was a long needed apology, and it was relief to finally say those words.

Logan stood up and pushed his chair back in. He took one last long look at her and gave a small salute, "See you around Veronica Mars."

And with that he left as quickly as he had came. And in that moment, Veronica hoped she hadn't just made the worst mistake of her life.

* * *

 

Veronica had asked a few people to meet her at Java the Hut, so she stayed in the corner after Logan had left. She wasn't sure how much information she'd get out of the few people she was pointed to, but it couldn't hurt to see what they knew.

Waiting for the first girl to show up gave Veronica enough time to reflect on Logan. He seemed different, in a good way. He was older and he had matured. She was glad that he had finally decided to grow up, it was a good look on him.

"You Veronica?" a voice came. Veronica glanced up at the blonde who was standing in front of her.

_She sure looks like Dick's type. Young and hungry for attention._

Perhaps that wasn't a fair assumption, but the girl was standing there with a very deep V-neck and tight jeans that screamed of daddy issues.

"That I am. Sit." Veronica had learned long ago, it was better to immediately establish that she was the boss. They were more likely to omit information.

Veronica tried to recall which bimbo this girl was, and decided she was the one who was supposedly obsessed with Dick's cars. She was always telling people how she was determined to have a car like his one day.

"I'm not going to bullshit you. Let's just cut to the chase," Veronica quipped, "Where were you at precisely eleven p.m. Sunday night?"

"Whoa, first of all, who do you think you are? I'm not going to just disclose personal information to a stranger," the girl argued.

_So we're going to do this the hard way. It's a shame, it's always less painful when they admit their wrong doings from the very start._

"Okay, I'm just going to be frank with you. I'm a private investigator, and I'm looking into an accident that happened on Sunday. Let's just say there's a girl fighting for her life in the hospital, and the prime suspect was a blonde fitting your description seen fleeing from the scene."

_A little lie never hurt anyone,_ Veronica concluded.

"It couldn't have been me," the blonde persisted.

"Because you have an air tight alibi that will back up any claim you make?" Veronica pushed.

"I don't know if he will, but I do have an air tight alibi. I was with someone that night."

"And who would this alibi be?"

"Logan Echolls," the girl responded smugly.

Veronica felt like she had been punched in the stomach.

"Logan Echolls, should I know who that is?" Veronica lied.

"You should," the blonde bragged, "he's only the son of the most notorious actor. His girlfriend is Bonnie DeVille, the singer."

Veronica just shook her head as if she were unaware of this person the blonde was speaking about.

"So this Logan guy, could you get me in touch with him?" Veronica asked. Saying his name aloud made her feel sick.

_So much for him changing… I guess people never change._

"I could try, but he's been ignoring my messages," the blonde shrugged.

"What's your name again?" Veronica asked.

"Alice," she replied.

_Well, Alice, I hope you had fun._


	7. Chapter 7

Alice stayed only a few minutes more before Veronica had all the information she was going to get out of her. The girl was short and elusive, and Veronica wanted her out of her sight as soon as possible.

"I'll call you if anything else comes up," Veronica said as she finished writing the last of the information down. Alice nodded once and stood.

"I'll try getting a hold of Lo…"

"No," Veronica cut her short, "I'll try to get ahold of him. Don't worry about it."

Alice narrowed her eyes a bit, but didn't argue back. Instead she turned and headed out.

Veronica let out the exasperated sigh she had been holding back. What was Logan thinking? He was violent at times, he was a liar, but he was never a _cheater_.

_That I know of…_ she thought, but she refused to think about it any further. It suddenly donned on her that she was going to have to talk to Logan again.

_Great. This is just great._

* * *

After the other two people had met with her and left, she pulled her phone out and sent a quick text to her dad letting him know she was probably going to be out late. She then sent Logan a text letting him know that she needed to talk to him as soon as possible.

She left the coffee house and headed towards the beach. Her phone rang when she was pulling out of the parking lot.

"Hello?"

"Veronica, it's me, what's up?" Logan's voice came from the other end.

"We need to meet," was all she replied.

"So what exactly did we do two hours ago?" he replied sarcastically.

"I can't talk about this over the phone, Logan. Where can we meet?"

Why don't you come to my house? Carrie is out for the night, I'll make dinner."

"This isn't exactly a social call," Veronica said angrily. She heard Logan sigh.

"Regardless, meet me at my house, I'll send the address. If you end up changing your mind about eating, there will be food."

"See you then," she replied before hanging up.

* * *

 

Logan stared at the clock in his kitchen as he waited for Veronica to show up. He had made loaded mac and cheese, but was waiting to eat until she arrived, in case she was hungry.

_What does she need to talk about?_

He didn't know whether to think it was going to be good or bad information she had for him. She sounded angry so he was assuming she was coming over to yell at him, accuse him of something, or both. He remembered that she was going to be talking to a few people in regards to Dick's case, but he couldn't imagine that's what it would be about.

When a knock finally came from the front door, he jumped up quickly to answer.

He opened the door and before he could welcome Veronica inside, she pushed her way in.

"Who the _hell_ is Alice?" she demanded. He stared at her dumfounded.

"Alice?" was all he could come up with.

"Yes. Blonde, big chest, smells of affairs and lies," Veronica spat.

"Oh yes, _that_ Alice," Logan returned dryly, which only made Veronica more upset.

"Veronica, I don't know…" but then it hit him. _Alice_. As in his one night stand with the blonde from the beach, Alice. He looked up at Veronica. Her eyes were wide and wondering. He couldn't come up with any reply for her so she spoke up.

"So you _do_ know who I'm talking about?" she said more calmly. He could tell she wasn't genuinely calm; she was close to a breaking point. If he didn't handle this right, she would either end up yelling at him or crying. He didn't like either of those outcomes, so he kept calm.

"I do," he answered honestly and coolly.

"You've done a lot of stupid things Logan, but I've never known you to be a cheater."

"I deserve that," he responded. She furrowed her brow. He knew she wasn't used to the person he was now, the guy who admitted immediately when he was wrong, and owned up to his actions.

"I don't understand, why? Why did you sleep with her? Who is she?"

"I was drunk, Veronica. I was drunk and upset and I made a bad decision."

"She's one of the prime suspects of Dick's case. I think she knows something," Veronica told him.

_Figures, the one time I get drunk and cheat, I do it with a crazy person. Karma is a bitch._

"Well, I can tell you for certain, she was preoccupied at the time of the crime," he quietly responded. The guilt he felt was overwhelming. Nobody was supposed to find out about this, especially not Veronica.

"That's all I needed to know," she said before storming off. He chased after her and grabbed her arm. She pulled back and frowned.

"Don't," she warned.

"Can I just talk to you? Actually talk?" he asked. He expected her to say no, but she didn't. Instead, she just stared into his face searching for a reason to leave. She mustn't have found any viable excuse to leave because she walked over to one of his bar stools that sat at his bar in the kitchen.

"Okay," she agreed. He was pleasantly surprised by that answer and walked over to the stovetop where the food was staying warm.

"Hungry?" he asked. She simply nodded so he scooped her some mac and cheese and handed her the bowl. She stared down at it and gave him a weird look.

"Mac and cheese?"

"I know how much you adore children's food," he smiled back. She pursed her lips to keep from smiling, but he knew he had softened her a bit.

"You can't bribe me by food," she replied as she took a bite. Her eyes widened and she made a small sound of approval.

"Are you sure?" he laughed.

"It's so good," she stated with her mouth full, "But I must stand firm, I still need an explanation for this Alice bitch."

Logan ran his hands through his hair and sighed.

"Things aren't going great with Carrie," he admitted. He hadn't told anyone how he was feeling until this moment. He wasn't even sure if he had really admitted it to himself.

"I figured as much," she started, but stopped, "Sorry. Keep going."

"I don't really know what to say. I don't want to unload all of my baggage on you, Veronica."

"I'm here to listen, Logan," she answered.

So he told her. He told her about how he met Carrie, he told her about cleaning his act up, he told her about Carrie's drug and alcohol problem. She sat and listened quietly without saying a word. His face was red from embarrassment -he didn't want her to know what a fucked up life he was living. He didn't want her to win. She was in New York, with a nice guy and a good job. She had done something with her life. He felt ashamed that he didn't move on as well as she had.

"It's okay not to be okay," she looked at him as she replied. She didn't make him feel any less of a man when she talked to him. She always knew what to say, and she still did.

"I just feel lost," he let out.

"I know, I understand."

How could she understand? She was close to perfect. Sure, she probably had her bad days, but she was never as stupid as he was.

"I doubt it," he shrugged. She looked at him very seriously.

"I _do_ ," she pressed. She paused before continuing, "You're too hard on yourself sometimes."

"As pops liked to say, 'you _are_ your biggest critic.' He was so wise," he quipped. She didn't look away from him. He knew she saw right through his bullshit, she always had.

"I'm glad you decided to talk to me."

"I'm glad you let me," he joked.

"I should go, it's getting late…"

"Wait," he stopped her. He looked towards his window. He could tell the sun was getting low in the sky.

_She has to see the sunset,_ he decided.

"Follow me," he instructed. He grabbed her hands and pulled her towards his back porch that faced the beach.

"Logan," she tried to fight back. She didn't fight very hard, and complied as he showed her out to the deck.

"You don't want to miss this," he promised. He released her hand and walked to the edge of the deck and stood, leaning against the ledge. He looked out to the horizon. He wasn't sure if she would stay, but he didn't want to push his luck by looking back at her. He would let her make the next move.

* * *

 

Veronica watched as Logan leaned against the railing of his deck. He seemed so peaceful as he gazed at the view. The sun hadn't set quite yet, and Veronica realized that she needed a drink. This was all too much at one time.

"So…" she began. He turned and gave her a quizzical look. "Got anything to drink?" she asked shyly.

"Oh, shit, I should have thought of that!" he ran back into the house leaving her standing outside. When he returned he had two wine glasses and very large bottle of red wine. He placed the bottle and glasses on the round, glass table. As she watched him uncork the wine, and pour each of them a glass, she saw how alive he seemed. He was smiling and going on about how he had been wine tasting in Napa Valley.

He handed her a very full glass, and smiled.

"M'lady," he joked.

She lifted the glass and wiggled her eyebrows before taking a long drink.

"Thank you."

"It's the least I can do for a pretty lady like yourself."

She knew he was trying to play and make light of their situation, and she was grateful for that. He always knew how to make her feel better.

They drank in silence for a long time. She watched as the sun grew closer and closer to the horizon. Oranges and pinks and purples were sprawled across the evening sky. She watched as the colors grew deeper and changed as the time went on. Before she knew it, the bottle was emptied and they were almost done with a second bottle of merlot that Logan had opened.

She kept telling herself to slow down, she knew that she was starting to feel a little drunk, but as they sat in silence, she let go of all of her frustration and all of her anger she felt towards the stranger that sat across from her.

He wasn't the same person she left behind all those years ago. Of course she couldn't have expected him to be the same person, she was hardly the same Veronica who left Neptune her sophomore year.

She poured another glass of wine, emptying the second bottle.

"Whoa, hotshot, slow down," Logan laughed. He stood and had to steady himself.

" _I_ should slow down?" she laughed.

He pretended to do a sobriety test by touching his pointer fingers on his nose.

He walked backwards through the door, stumbling as he went. They both laughed. She watched as he disappeared.

When he came back, he had a bottle of scotch this time. He lifted it as if to toast, and he took a swig from the bottle.

"Did you learn your manners in a zoo?" she eyed him.

"I believe the correct phrase is 'in a barn.' I've never heard 'zoo' before," he corrected, "And I've tried to stay away from all forms of hard labor, so it seems highly unlikely." He took another drink from his scotch. She grabbed it from him and poured some into her glass.

"Scotch in a wine glass?" Logan laughed, "Classy."

She sipped from her glass, the liquid burning her throat.

_Leave. You need to leave._ She shook all thoughts from her mind.

She always thought too much.

* * *

 

As the time passed and the drunker they got, Logan realized this wasn't one of his finest decisions. He was acutely aware of the beautiful blonde across from him, and he was worried that he wouldn't be able to control any words or actions in his state of mind.

He had put on music and they spent most of the night listening rather than talking. In fact, Veronica was very quiet for most of the night, but he was okay with that. Having her there was good enough for him, and he hoped that maybe that meant she was willing to give this friendship thing a shot.

When they realized that the sun was long gone, and it was way past the time she was supposed to leave, they stood and headed into the house. She ran into the small stool that he kept in his kitchen and fell over. The doubled over in laughter.

"Why do you have that? Why is it so small?" she laughed. He made his way over to her and attempted to help her back up.

"You are so drunk."

"You are too," she argued.

"Well, there's no way I'm letting your drive. Let me call your dad…"

"No," she responded firmly. "I didn't want anyone to know we talked," she added as her face began to flush.

"So I'm your mistress now?"

"What? No! I didn't mean it like that," she furrowed her brow, but started to laugh. When she didn't reply he sighed and sat down next to her on the cold wooden floor.

"Let me call you a cab," he said. His voice was almost at a whisper. He realized how close he was to her. He let his fingers brush over the skin of her arm. She closed her eyes.

"Okay," she whispered after a moment. He watched her curiously instead of getting his phone. Her eyes stayed shut and he realized that the music was still playing. When "I Hear The Bells" sounded through the kitchen, Veronica's eyes opened wide. He looked down at his hands. He knew exactly what was running through her mind.

"Bloodshed, Echolls? I'll never get over how melodramatic you were," she tried joking. She nudged his arm playfully.

"Yeah, well, what can I say? I was a lovesick schoolboy pining over the one who got away," he pretended to sway. He watched as she rolled her eyes and gave him a side smile. He picked himself up and walked to the fridge.

"If you're going to survive the rest of this night, you're going to need water," he smiled. He poured her a glass and walked back and handed it to her. She stared at it as the song continued. As it drew to an end she took a long drink.

"Why does water taste so gross after drinking?" Veronica made a face.

Logan took a sip of his own water. Veronica made her way onto her feet.

"Did you call that cab?"

"Not yet," he responded. He finished the water in his cup and he placed it down on the counter a little too hard because it made a loud clank, making Veronica jump.

"Geeze, Logan!"

"Sorry." He chuckled softly and picked up his cell phone to make the call for her cab.

"Wait," she said softly. She made her way to his side and pulled the phone out of his hands.

"But your cab…" he let his voice trail off as he realized that she was holding one of his hands. She was looking directly into his face, and for the first time that night he felt as if she was actually presently engaged.

"Forget the cab."

And he did.


	8. Chapter 8

Logan woke up with a pounding headache. He didn't open his eyes, because he knew it would be even worse when he did- he could feel the sun shining through his window. He realized that Carrie's arm was resting on his chest, so he snuggled closer to her and kissed her on her forehead. It wasn't until she shot up from him that he opened his eyes. It took a while for them to adjust to the light, but when they did he saw _her_.

"Veronica?" he choked. She stared at him wide eyed and pale faced. She was fully clothed, as was he. "This is the first time I'm relieved to find the woman I wake up next to clothed," he continued. She didn't find his joke funny.

"No. No, no, no, no." She jumped out his bed.

"Veronica, relax. Nothing happened!"

"Nothing happened!?" she yelled. He winced and rubbed is temples. He was too hungover for this.

"Come on, V," he tried again. She was breathing heavily, but she appeared less tense.

"I'll need to shower. I'm a mess. My dad…" she looked down at what she was wearing.

"Well, feel free to freshen up here. The shower is right through that door," he pointed. She breathed in deeply and nodded. Once the door was closed and the he heard the shower, he made his way downstairs and to the kitchen. He tried to remember exactly how they got to the bed and everything that happened the night before, but it was all pretty hazy. One thing he knew for certain, they hadn't done anything they would later regret. Of course Veronica would feel guilty for even staying the night, but he was relieved that he was able to control himself. Her sleeping next to him was harmless.

_But was it_ really? _It sure felt more intimate than what two friends would have done. I mean, she woke up in my arms…_

He quickly whipped up some pancakes and threw bacon in the oven. The least he could do was make her breakfast. Cooking let him take his mind off of everything and off the fact that Veronica Mars was currently in his shower.

A few minutes later, he heard her coming down the stairs. He watched the staircase as she descended. She was wearing the same clothes as the previous day and her hair was tied in a knot on the top of her head.

_I've missed seeing her like this,_ he decided.

"I broke my usual rule of never cooking breakfast for a girl the morning after, but I figured what the hell, right?" he laughed nervously. She gave him a small smile.

"Don't sell yourself short; I know you make breakfast for your conquests. It's the Echolls' way."

This time he smiled. He was glad she was acting normal.

"But I can't stay," she continued, "I need to help Dad get ready for Thanksgiving… He's going to be worried sick when he notices I haven't gotten home yet."

"Understandable," Logan sighed. He walked with her to his front door and opened it for her. He leaned against the frame as she turned to look back at him.

"I really did enjoy myself. It was nice to actually hang out. No drama, no fighting, just friends," she smiled.

_Friends._ So she was reconsidering her stance?

"I'll see you around," he replied. She turned and headed back to her car. He stayed at the opened door until she was out of sight.

He realized that he probably wouldn't see her around. She was leaving the next day. He kicked himself for not hugging her one last time.

* * *

 

"Mac, it's me." Veronica had called her best friend the second she got into the car.

"Hey what's up?"

"I need an alibi. If anyone asks, we were working on Dick's case all night," Veronica told her friend.

She could hear her friend's hesitation when she answered, "Okay… Do I get to know why I may be lying for you?"

"Would you hate me if I were to say trust me?" Veronica asked. Mac sighed on the other line. Veronica felt bad. It was a line her best friends had heard too many times before.

"Okay. We were at my place working on the case. You fell asleep, and went home the next morning," Mac reiterated.

"I owe you."

"Mmhmm," her friend replied. They hung up and Veronica sped home. Her dad was going to murder her.

* * *

To Veronica's surprise her dad was nowhere to be found when she arrived home. She quickly changed into new clothes and brushed her teeth. By the time she was ready, she heard the front door open and close.

"Pops, where you been? I was getting worried I'd have to call the sheriff's department, and we both know they aren't the most reliable people…" Veronica stopped as she rounded the corner into the living room.

Her mouth dropped open slightly when she saw who was standing there with her dad.

"Piz? What are you doing here?" she asked. She hoped she sounded more pleasantly surprised than she felt.

"Your dad called me after you left and asked if I could make it. I couldn't refuse," he smiled. She ran to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I'm glad you're here," she whispered. He kissed the top of her head.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he murmured into her hair.

* * *

 

"So I know you were excited to have Thanksgiving here, but Alicia and I decided that we should have one big Thanksgiving with everyone," Keith informed Veronica.

She eyed him curiously and grinned, "Alicia, eh?"

"We are just friends, my nosy daughter."

She raised her eyebrows and threw up her hands. "Whatever you say. I mean, I always wanted Wallace to be my brother. _You_ _two_ are the ones who ruined that dream."

Keith rolled his eyes and headed to his room. "Say, where were you all night?"

_Dammit, dad. In front of Piz? Really?_

"Mac's. We were working on the case," she lied smoothly.

Piz eyed her and furrowed his brow.

"I'll explain later," she said in a hushed voice. He just nodded and looked around the living room. She followed his gaze, until it met her. "I really am glad you're here. I've missed you."

He flashed his white smile and gave her a quick peck on the mouth. It caught her by surprise. They hadn't kissed since they had broken up after their freshman year. There was something about how casual and easy it was to kiss him that made her feel safe and even happy. She reached up and kissed him softly. It was short and sweet, partially because Keith walked back into the room and partially because she didn't want to go any further with him any time soon. She was determined to take things slow.

As they left the house, Piz grabbed her hand and held it until they reached the car. She sat in the back as the two guys sat in the front.

Keith and Piz jabbered on about life and baseball and music. She wondered if they even remembered she was there. She liked watching them interact. It was natural and light. Keith didn't force smiles, and Piz wasn't nervous and unsure. They seemed like old buddies catching up.

As they pulled into the driveway of Alicia's house they quickly wrapped up their conversation.

Wallace came bursting through the front door and rushed to meet them.

"Piz?! Damn, dude, I didn't know you were here!" Wallace said as he hugged his friend. Again, Veronica watched and couldn't deny that Piz fit into her life like the perfect piece of a puzzle. Everyone seemed to have accepted that, even her own head accepted it, but her heart seemed a little slow to the party. She still felt a little uneasy when she thought about starting a relationship with him again. Something just wasn't right.

"Yeah, I flew in this morning. It was surprise," Piz eyed Veronica proudly. She tried to smile back as best as she could.

* * *

 

When Wallace saw Piz sitting in the passenger seat of Keith's car, he thought he was going crazy. There was no way his friend was here in Neptune. Veronica had been a little off her game these past couple days, but she wouldn't have forgotten to mention _that_.

Wallace was happy to see his old friend, however. He showed them into the house and plopped down on the couch while others followed suit.

As Piz, Veronica, and Wallace sat in the living room talking, Wallace couldn't help but keep looking over at the clock. It was one forty five. Only fifteen more minutes until it was two. He was dreading what came at two.

About ten minutes after two, a knock came from the front door.

"That must be your guest, honey," Alicia chirped from the hall. He didn't make eye contact with Veronica as he got up to answer the door.

He opened the door just a sliver at first.

_I am so sorry._

He gave his guest a look of regret before pushing the door all the way open. Everyone stopped talking, and the house became incredibly still as Logan Echolls entered.

"This should be fun," he heard Logan say under his breath.

* * *

 

Veronica watched as Wallace's guest became visible. Her eyes widened and she had to force herself not to look at Piz, who had tensed up beside her. When Wallace finally met her eyes, he looked incredibly apologetic and a little flustered.

_What was he thinking?!_

Logan passed the couch she and Piz were sitting at and made his way to the back of the house where the kitchen was.

"I can talk to him. I'll make him leave," she whispered to Piz. He shook his head.

"It's fine. I don't want him to think I'm afraid of him or something."

"Yeah but…"

"Veronica, it's fine," he insisted.

She turned her attention to her best friend. She widened her eyes at him. He responded with a remorseful shrug.

"Honey," she heard her dad say from behind her. She slowly turned and looked up at his concerned face. "Logan Echolls seems to have found his way into our family Thanksgiving meal?" She knew he was actually asking if _she_ had invited him.

"He's _Wallace's_ guest dad. Wallace and Logan are _friends_ now."

He shot Wallace a confused look, but didn't dig any deeper. He simply grunted and left the three alone again.

"Well, this should be interesting. And if it's not, we could always place bets and start a fight club?" Piz joked. She knew he wasn't finding this situation funny in the slightest, but she gave him the chuckle he was looking for, but it was awkward and forced.

"I'm really sorry, guys. I didn't know we were having Thanksgiving with you… I invited him a couple of days ago," Wallace explained.

"Don't worry about it, man. But I really want the back story on that," Piz smirked.

Veronica sat as the boys changed the subject and started talking about the game, and who they thought was going to win. She didn't listen. She was far more concerned with the accident waiting to happen.

* * *

 

Wallace and Piz were content being in each other's company. It had been a couple years since they last saw each other, and they had a lot to catch up on. Veronica took her chance, and headed into the kitchen area.

When she got to the doorway, she watched her dad, Alicia, and Logan. It was like a dance, the way they all moved around each other. Logan ran around the kitchen helping Alicia with whatever she needed while Keith snuck in bites. Alicia would catch him each time and would playfully slap his arm or his hand. The three would laugh and they continued their waltz. For the first time she felt at home. Watching the unlikely trio made her feel happy in a way that she hadn't felt since she moved away. She leaned her head against the frame and sighed. Logan turned his head and gave her a nod, but he didn't leave his post by the oven. He was mashing potatoes for Alicia. Alicia realized Veronica was watching them and went and whispered something in Logan's ear. Whatever she said released him of his duties as the masher of potatoes.

"You look like you wanna talk," he motioned to the hallway.

" _You_ look like you were given a very important job, I wouldn't want to take that from you."

He glanced back at the kitchen. Alicia and Keith's heads were close in conversation.

"I think it's okay if I take a break," he smirked, "What's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I told everyone I was at Mac's last night. Just so we're on the same page."

"Sounds good."

She studied him to try to catch any sort of emotion he was feeling. He seemed okay, genuinely okay.

"I didn't know he was coming…"

He continued to smile and nod his head.

_Well, alright. Glad to see you're so cool and nonchalant._

"Okay, well, you better get back to work. I'm hungry," she smiled a little too forcefully.

"See you around the table, Ronnie." He returned to the oven and smiled at something Alicia said. Keith glanced over at his daughter and gave her one of his questioning looks: "Are you okay?" She nodded back, and he turned back to his conversation with Alicia.

* * *

 

Logan watched as everyone passed the food around the table. Keith was at the head of the table. He was sitting next to Veronica who was on the right and Alicia who was on his left. Veronica sat beside Piz who was seating next to Wallace. Logan sat between Alicia and Darrell. He felt a little displaced, but he was aware that he was a last second guest, and he was just glad he had somewhere to eat.

"Veronica, champagne?" Alicia asked holding up the bottle, ready to pass it, but Veronica held up her hand and shook her head no.

Logan tried to hide the grin that was creeping on his lips. Veronica was never much of a drinker, so she was in a rare form the night before. She was usually much more calm and collective, but for whatever reason, she had seemed to be drinking alcohol like it was water every time he saw her. He noticed her irritated glare, so he licked his lips and ran his hands through his hair to cover it up. When he was asked if he wanted any he declined as well.

"So Logan, what have you been up to recently?" Keith inquired. He felt all eyes fall on him. His face felt hot with all the attention.

"I, uh," he cleared his throat, "joined the Navy." If anyone had been talking at the table, they weren't any longer. The silence wasn't unexpected. He knew that they all remembered the jackass rich boy he used to be, and if someone had told him he was going to be where he was today, he would have laughed in their face.

"I didn't know that," Veronica interjected. Her brow furrowed. He found that to be one small victory. He loved making her squirm.

"A lot of people don't. I'm actually only here for a few more months, then I'll be stationed at a base or deployed. I haven't gotten my deployment information quite yet."

"Thank you," Keith said earnestly. "I mean that, thank you. We need more guys willing to fight for our country. It's an honorable thing, Logan."

Logan knew better than to argue with Keith, and he was pleasantly surprised by the positive feedback, so he accepted the compliment and thanks. What Keith didn't know was that The Navy saved his life. He was going nowhere real fast, and it was what saved him from God knows what kind of ending he could have had.

The conversation picked up again and everyone was discussing one thing or another. Logan, being his usual self, kept quiet and listened. He never liked being large family setting like this. It was foreign, and he didn't understand how function in it. The only families Thanksgivings that he could remember were full of his dad getting belligerently drunk and his mom crying. He found the entire holiday ironic, because he spent most of the day counting the reasons he _wasn't_ thankful.

He peeked at Piz a few times. Stosh seemed more relaxed as the time went on. He would occasionally touch Veronica's shoulder. A few times Logan caught him squeezing her hand. She would flutter her eyelashes at him and blush. He couldn't tell if it was because he made her feel good or if she was still getting used to their public displays of affection. Maybe it was both.

"So _Stosh_ ," Logan finally piped up. He saw Piz tense at the sound of Logan saying his name. "What have _you_ been doing recently?" It came out much more passive aggressive than Logan had intended. He really didn't care what Piz was doing, but he was trying to be friendly.

"Well, not all of us can be heroes. I settled for a radio gig." He looked down at his food when he talked.

_Come on. Be a man, and look at me when I'm trying to have a conversation with you,_ Logan thought with annoyance.

"How _exactly_ did you two become a thing again?" Logan was mentally kicking himself for even asking such a question. He was irritated with the presence of Piz, and his friendly inquiries were coming out more like an interrogation than amicable conversation.

"Logan…" Veronica started.

"We actually ran into each other at a grocery store. I guess fate has a funny way of making everything work out in the end," Piz responded. He was firm and blunt with the intention behind what he said. The tension in the room had grown incredibly uncomfortable for everyone, especially Veronica who was staring at her remaining food, fuming.

_And_ this _is why I'm not invited to nice, family dinners,_ he concluded silently. He felt bad, he hadn't meant for it to get so intense.

The rest of the evening was spent with everyone talking over each other in separate conversations around the table. Since most of the group ignored Logan, he spent the majority of the time focused on eating the delicious dinner Wallace's mom had prepared. He continued to quietly thank her and affirm that her cooking was, indeed, the best he ever had.

After everyone had their fair share of stuffing, turkey, and green beans, the group gathered in the living room to watch the football game. Logan was never much a football kind of a guy so he didn't care to pay attention. He stood for a while, as the others sat on the couch and chairs. Alicia was preoccupied in the kitchen. She was preparing the desert for everyone. He decided to wander into the kitchen to help her.

"Logan!" a surprised voice came from her, "Why aren't you watching the game? I can handle getting all of this together! You've already done more than your fair share of helping today."

"I don't mind. I'm not very interested in the game."

She accepted his help, and she handed him the pumpkin pie to cut.

"It's weird seeing her back home, huh?"

He wondered where she was getting at. He didn't have very many interactions with the woman. He was only ever over if he and Wallace were put in the same school project group. Even then, Wallace usually came over to his place.

"Not _weird_. Different," he replied kindly. She didn't press any farther, and let the subject drop.

_Having_ Piz _and Veronica here is a different story._

He was surprised to find that he didn't feel jealous as much as he did sad when he watched the two together. She was evidently happy which meant the world to Logan. Above all, he wished her happiness so if Piz brought that to her, he was okay with that. He did feel sad because he knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of Veronica's affection. He didn't quite have that with Carrie, but he held out hope that like Piz and Veronica, they too would get their happy ending.

And if that didn't ever happen, he always had his buddies and The Navy.

He would be okay, he decided.

* * *

 

Throughout dinner Piz was incredibly anxious. His attention was being pulled in a thousand directions. Wallace was determined to catch up, Veronica seemed quieter than usual, and Logan… Of all the people in the world, Wallace would have to invite him. He wasn't angry by any means, but he wasn't pleased. He tried to keep his attention off of the rather handsome and sulking elephant in the room. Instead he forced himself to be fully engaged in whatever football game was playing on Alicia Fennell's television. He hated football.

As the game dwindled to an end, Logan made his leave and quietly left. Veronica's eyes lingered on the door a little too long for Piz's comfort. He swallowed hard and tried to listen to what Wallace was saying to him.

"…anyway, what do you think? Guys' night? I think it's only fair Veronica shares."

_Guys' night?_

He stole a look at Veronica who smiled.

"I wouldn't want to be the one to get in the way of this bromance you guys have goin' on," she threw her hands up in a fake defense.

"Sure," he agreed, "Tonight?"

"Dude, did you even listen to anything I said?"

Piz tilted his head to indicate that he may have missed part of the conversation. Wallace rolled his eyes playfully.

"You're almost as bad as this one," he nudged Veronica who gave him her wide eyes.

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about."

Wallace looked to Piz, "There's this band I think you would like playing at a local pub tonight. I thought we'd check them out," he repeated.

"Oh! Alright, man, sounds good!" Piz tried to imitate Wallace's enthusiasm. What he really wanted to do was be alone with Veronica, but he couldn't let his friend down. He saw Veronica often enough, he could give Wallace one night.

When he studied Veronica she seemed a bit disappointed. He gave her arm a squeeze, hoping it would make her feel better that he was just as disappointed as she was.

Before she left, she gave him a quick kiss.

"I'll see you later tonight," she turned her attention to Wallace, "You two don't get into _too_ much trouble. Bring him back in one piece, please?"

Piz looked at the clock and wondered how long he would have to wait to be with her. He let out a sigh, and tried to get excited about his "bro time" with Wallace.

* * *

 

Veronica stared out the window as her dad drove home. He was unusually quiet.

"So what _exactly_ is going on between you and Alicia?" she pried. He gave her a sigh.

"I could say the same for you and Logan, sweetie. Clearly this wasn't the first time you two have run into each other while you've been back."

"What makes you think that?"

"A father's intuition."

She hated when he answered her questions that way. That couldn't be a viable reason for _everything_.

"I've seen him a couple of times. But nothing is going on. I have Piz…"

"Who is a wonderful man, might I add," he cut her off.

"I know."

"Don't do anything you will regret," he warned, "I don't want to see you hurt, but I also don't want to see _you_ hurt anyone."

"Dad, I _know_."

"Do you, Veronica? Because if history serves, you don't have the best track record when it comes to Lo…"

"Dad! I said I know, okay?"

She hated that he could always see right through her. She knew he wanted what was best for her, but she hated feeling like a child when he lectured her. She was a grown woman. He had to trust she would make good decisions.

"I'm sorry, honey. I know you care about the guy, but he's always brought trouble whenever he's been around. That Bonnie character is all over the news for terrible things… And that's his girlfriend if I recall correctly. I don't know, maybe being a part of something like The Navy will help him become the man he always had the potential to be." He stopped talking when he realized Veronica was uncomfortable with the subject of their conversation.

The rest of the car ride home was silent. She felt bad. She wanted to tell her dad it was okay, and she understood where he was coming from, but another part of her was mad that he didn't seem to trust her. She decided saying nothing was the best option.

When they pulled into the driveway they noticed that there was a car parked outside. Neither of them knew who it could be until two people got out of the vehicle. It was Dick and Logan. Keith raised an eyebrow at her and unlocked the front door.

"Logan. Dick…"

"Ronnie!" Dick exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

"Should I know why you're here?" She looked at them both. Logan stayed behind his friend.

"I think I have info that will be helpful with my case or whatever," Dick responded.

"Alright, let's go in and talk. But Dick," she stopped and pointed a finger at him, "Please try to keep your sexual innuendoes and profanities to a minimum in front of my pops." She was partially playing around with him, but she didn't mind if he took it to heart.

"My mom's the word, V," he responded.

"Your mom?" Logan tilted his head, "I believe you mean mum's the word," he corrected. Dick rolled his eyes at the both of them and raised his hands.

"I didn't realize we were going to an 'I hate Dick' party."

Veronica entered her home and Dick followed closely behind. Logan was the last to enter, and he quietly closed the door. Keith was on the couch flipping through TV channels, he looked up briefly before returning his attention to the screen.

She showed them to the dining room table where they all sat down.

"Okay, so what is this info?" Veronica asked as she opened her laptop, getting ready to type up everything.

"So, that girl, Alice, we all know she wasn't the one who was driving the car since she was getting busy with Logan, here, but it doesn't mean she didn't steal it right?" Veronica was caught off guard because she hadn't expected Logan to disclose the information about Alice to Dick. She was actually beginning to wonder if Logan had traded in his best friend and surf board when he joined The Navy.

"That's possible. What makes you think she had something to do with stealing it?"

"She was the last person at my house before it disappeared," he shrugged.

"Okay, Dick. I need you to tell me exactly what happened."

He explained how he had a group of people over for a party at his flat the night the car was stolen. Alice had been the last to leave, and had been telling people she would give anything to have his car. She also ranted about Dick's lack of appreciation for what he had. He had tried to get her to stay the night, but she had refused him. After some unfriendly words from Dick, she left extremely angry telling him that he would be sorry.

"Have you ever considered that if you weren't such an asshole that maybe you wouldn't find yourself in these situations?"

"Geeze, Ronnie, have you ever considered not being such a bitch to your clients?"

"Down boy," Logan joked, but there was a real warning in his words.

"Sorry, Logan, I forgot that you still liked this chick," Dick countered.

"This _chick_ , is saving your ass, for free," Veronica pointed out. "Listen, I leave tomorrow…"

"I'll pay you anything you want. Just stick this out, and help me out, dude," Dick continued more seriously.

"I have a job. I have to go back. But I'll try helping as much as I can from New York."

"No, it's cool. I get it." Dick stood up and looked at Logan, "You ready? If we get out of here we could still play some video games before girlfriend comes home."

"Yeah, I'll be out to the car in a second," Logan responded. Dick got the hint and left them at the table alone.

"He's an idiot, but he's _my_ idiot," Logan said with fake endearment in his voice.

"Which is something I'll never understand," Veronica returned.

"Mac seems to get it."

He was right. She did. Veronica knew she tended to be hard on people, especially those 09ers that she went to high school with, but how anyone could put up with Dick was beyond her.

_Oh come one, Veronica. You know deep down you enjoy his shaggy blonde self. He's certainly entertaining._

Sure, she may have a soft spot for Dick in her marshmallow center, but actually voluntarily putting one's self in his presence for fun wasn't something she would ever find herself doing.

"I really will try to help him from home," she insisted.

"Is it?" he asked.

"Is what it?" she asked back.

"New York. Is it home?"

He stared at her with intensity that she hadn't seen from him since she had been here. She didn't know how to answer that question. If she answered no she would be admitting that her life she had tried so hard to build was a sham. She wouldn't give him the achievement of figuring that out. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to answer yes.

"I'm still figuring that out," she admitted slowly. That was a vague enough answer that she knew he would push the subject any farther.

"Fair enough," was his only answer. "I guess this is goodbye," he said shortly. She could only nod her head. She really couldn't find any adequate words for him tonight. She knew he wanted some sort of comfort in knowing they were friends. But could she give that to him?

"I'll make sure to keep you updated on Dick's stuff," she looked at him, "Just in case he doesn't keep you in the loop," she lied. She wasn't worried about whether Logan knew what was going on, but that was the best way she could buy more time to make her decision of whether she would try the whole friends thing. He gave her the famous Logan smile.

"I'll be waiting by the telephone every night. Just hoping that it's you on the other line when it rings."

She loved his sarcasm. She always had. It was something that they had in common.

"Then maybe we can go to the drive in and order malt shakes," she responded.

"Do they have those in New York City? It seems like it would be a hazard?"

He stood and headed back towards where he entered the house.

"I'll see you around Logan." Her words left her mouth before she could even realize the implication.

"Maybe, but either way, I'll be looking forward to hearing from you." He gave her one last look before she closed the door behind him.

They both knew she had already made her decision.


	9. Chapter 9

Veronica popped in Home Alone for her and Keith to watch as they waited for Piz to get back from his bro date with Wallace. She sat uncomfortably on the couch and stared at the movie. Normally she would be down to watch Macaulay Culkin kick bad guy ass, but she was far too focused on everything that had transpired the past couple of days.

Dick was an idiot, but he didn't need to be charged for something he didn't do. At this point she wasn't sure if the accident was just that- an accident- or if it had been intentional. If it was an accident, who had caused it? Who stole his car? If it wasn't an accident, who was the girl fighting to survive in the hospital? She realized she really didn't know enough about what was going on, other than Alice was her prime suspect, a prime suspect that had an air tight alibi.

She wanted to run to her room and grab her laptop, but she knew her dad would be upset that she wasn't fully invested in their father-daughter time. She mentally made note that she needed to do some background checking on everyone involved in the accident. Something was off, and she wanted to get to the bottom of it, even if she didn't have enough time to see this whole case through. She was Veronica Mars after all, curiosity always got the best of her.

Then there was Logan. She had spent so many years avoiding even thinking about his name, yet when she came home it was almost as if they were back to where they started. He wanted to be friends, which she had to admit sounded nice, but she knew herself too well. She would never be okay with settling for just friends. She would always want more. He, like investigating, was her drug, and she knew it. But she couldn't just leave him hanging could she? If she was in New York, and he was in California, would it really hurt to be friends? Piz would never ask her to not be Logan's friend, he was too nice of a guy to put his foot down like that. But just because Piz would never ask that of her, didn't mean it was fair to him to continue a friendship with Logan.

She thought about Thanksgiving dinner, and remembered what he had said about joining The Navy.

_The Navy?! In all of the hours we spent talking, you didn't think that_ maybe _that was something you should have mentioned?_

She was pissed. How could he not tell her something _that_ important? She shook her head. Even as friends, they weren't completely honest with each other. How the hell did they actually think they could make this friendship work? They were volatile. Just as things were getting good, another bomb was sure to go off. But she couldn't stay pissed at him. He had joined _The_ _Navy_ , the armed forces of America. Logan Echolls, the obligatory jackass, had signed up to do one of the most selfless things a person could do. How could she be mad at him for that?

She couldn't quite piece him together, as if she ever was able to. He was in the armed forces, something she couldn't actually imagine, yet he was dating one of the most notorious celebrities. How did that add up? She couldn't imagine Carrie was really _that_ special. Sure, she had a decent voice, if you were into the whining crap kids listened to these days. Veronica remembered Carrie vividly. She was one of the people who made Veronica's life a nightmare at Neptune. She was never someone Veronica could imagine being a decent person.

_Unless you were Susan Knight, in which case, she would stake her entire reputation for you._

It had been almost five years since Susan died, and it was still unbelievable to Veronica when she thought about it. Veronica had heard that Susan had given her baby up for adoption, and it really hit her hard. She never really recovered from the entire thing, and got pretty messed up and involved in drugs. The worst part of it all was that they had never found her body. One day Carrie's best friend was there, the next she was gone. Veronica couldn't imagine losing Mac or Wallace like that. So maybe Carrie wasn't the _worst_ person to walk the earth, but Veronica wasn't convinced she was worth keeping around.

Finally, there was the entire debacle with Piz. Was he her boyfriend now? Piz and her dad certainly thought so. She wasn't aware that their hangouts were misconstrued into thinking that they were a couple again.

_Well, aren't you,_ she thought. _Don't be a bitch, Veronica, you know that you've been hinting at that for a while now._

She felt guilty that her heart wasn't entirely in it. Maybe if she gave herself some time, it would finally catch up. She decided, for the sake of everyone involved, including herself, she would continue with the way things were going. Piz wouldn't hurt to have as a boyfriend. He was incredibly good at being one, and she felt great whenever he was around. It couldn't hurt, right?

"You know," Keith's voice startled her, "I would normally say I would hate to have these bumbling robbers messing with me and my house, but honestly, I would be far more afraid of that Macaulay character coming around here." He smiled at his own joke.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it. He's a creepy dude now."

"Almost makes watching this movie a little sad," her dad concluded. Veronica rolled her eyes and smiled. He always made Macaulay Culkin jokes when they watched Home Alone. It was nice to know some things were always going to remain constant.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you invite Piz for Thanksgiving?" She was careful how she worded her question. She didn't want to come off angry, but she needed to know.

"Did you not want him to be here?" he asked solemnly.

_Check mate._

"No, it's not that. I was just wondering what sparked such an idea," she said slightly frustrated.

Keith took a moment to reply, "I just thought it would be nice to spend a holiday with your boyfriend, sweetie. Nothing more to it than that."

She wanted to believe he was telling the whole truth, but part of her wondered if he was worried she would rekindle things with Logan, and having Piz here would keep her from being able to do that. Or maybe he just enjoyed Stosh's presence, and wanted her to be happy. She could never tell with her dad, he had a good poker face.

She didn't say anything back to Keith, and focused her attention back onto the movie. She shut her eyes for a quick second to rest, but felt herself drifting to sleep. She didn't argue with her body, but instead allowed herself to fall into sleep.

* * *

 

Piz had resisted the urge to drink, because he didn't want to stumble back into the Mar's house. What a great impression that would make. Keith would instantly regret his decision to ask him to come.

He and Wallace had a good time talking about life, listening to the band, and catching up, but Piz kept his eye on the time, hoping Veronica would still be awake when he got back to the house. He felt like he hadn't seen her in ages, even though it had only been a few days. Wallace filled him in on the case Veronica had taken while she was here. He smiled at the fact that she was doing detective work again. She was the same old Veronica he remembered, which gave him comfort. He liked the Veronica he had known. She was smart, badass, and independent. Her only flaw had been the baggage of a poisonous relationship with Logan.

Logan. Why had he been at Thanksgiving? He didn't push for any answers from Wallace. He knew his friend felt bad about the entire thing. Piz sort of felt bad that Wallace had to resort to being friends with Logan. There had to be other guys out there that Wallace could hang out with.

From the looks of it, Veronica and Logan still weren't on talking terms, the tension between the two of them was far from being unnoticeable. They avoided eye contact and they had said very few words. He assumed that it must have been the first time they had seen each other in years. It made him feel a little better. Logan was most definitely out of the picture, at least romantically.

When he got to Keith's house, the door was unlocked. He crept in, not sure if Keith was sleeping. Keith was nowhere to be found, but Veronica was curled up on the couch fast asleep. She looked beautiful. He didn't want to wake her, but as soon as he shut the front door, her eyes opened.

"Hey," she smiled. "How was the date?"

"Oh, you know how it is, we drank beer, had sex with hookers…"

"Weird, Wallace never seemed much of a hooker type guy."

"And _I_ do?" Piz laughed.

Veronica pursed her lips, looking pensive and shrugged, "I guess not…"

He sat next to her and gave her a light shove.

"It was good. It was nice to finally see him again."

They sat together without saying anything for a while. She leaned against him and placed her head on his shoulder. It felt nice to have her here with him. He didn't want to break the silence, but everything was screaming at him to ask about the elephant in the room.

"So Logan…" he let his voice trail off. He could feel her tense up.

"What about him?" Her voice sounded suspicious.

"I don't know. It was weird that he was at dinner right? I felt like that was weird."

"He and Wallace have been hanging out lately," she dismissed. He wasn't completely convinced, but he let the subject drop.

"Just so you know, I'm going to head to Portland tomorrow for a couple of days. I got the week off, so I'm visiting my parents while I can. I know you're heading back to New York tomorrow, so we'll head to the airport tomorrow morning and then I'll see you when I'm back home."

She sat up and nodded her head, "Sounds good. Your parents must be happy to see you."

"Yeah, it's been a while. I think they're worried I've lost my Oregonian way and have become a New Yorker monster."

"Keep Oregon weird," Veronica said with little emotion behind her joke.

"Exactly," he agreed equally emotionless.

They sat up a little while longer before they both called it a night. Veronica gave him a sweet kiss goodnight. She let her lips linger on his a little longer than he had thought she would. Smiling he said goodnight and watched her disappear down the hall.

* * *

 

At two forty nine in the morning a phone call woke Veronica up. She looked around for the location of the buzzing noise until she realized it was her cell phone. When she looked at the screen she saw that the number was blocked.

"Hello?" It came out more as a question than an answer.

"Is this Veronica?" came an unfamiliar female voice.

"Depends on who's asking."

"I can't tell you that. But you need to listen to me. That girl, the one who got hit by Dick Casablancas' car, she died tonight. Now listen closely. Dick is in trouble. The hit and run wasn't an accident. She was part of the Fighting Fitzpatricks gang… They're going to want revenge."

"She's dead?" Veronica responded, "How do you know all of this? Who are…"

"I can't say," the female repeated, "I know it wasn't Dick. I know that there was a lot more to this accident than it seems from the outside. If you want your friend Dick to be safe, you'll figure something out. I've heard it's kind of your thing."

Veronica didn't know how to respond. She was almost too tired to comprehend what was even being said to her: Dick in trouble, girl dead, Fitzpatricks.

The other line clicked and the phone call ended.

"Shit," Veronica said. Her voice seemed to bounce off the empty walls of her dark room.

_I can't stay. I_ have _to get back to work… But I can't leave... I can't stand Dick, but I can't let him become the next prey of The Fitzpatricks. He doesn't deserve that._

She grabbed her laptop that was lying on the ground beside her and flipped it open. She began searching for any clues she could find, and began an extensive search on each suspect and victim. She glanced at the digital clock and sighed. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

By eight in the morning she had already found that Alice was not quite as innocent as she tried to let on. She was a second cousin of Liam Fitzpatrick.

_Coincidence? There's never coincidences in Neptune._

She had a colorful history with the law. Four arrests involving theft and assault and one arrest for being accused of pimping underage girls. All charges had been dropped, and she walked each time, a free woman.

With a little research, Veronica found that the girl who had been hit, Ailene O'Brien, was in fact connected to the Fitzpatrick family. She wasn't a blood relative, but her dad worked at the pub owned by The Fitzpatricks. Veronica assumed he probably did more than pour beer all day. His nights were more than likely filled with highly illegal activity.

Veronica wanted Alice to be an easy target, but it didn't make any sense. The Fighting Fitzpatricks would never hurt one of their own, so Alice couldn't have been an accomplice.

Beginning to feel frustrated, Veronica headed to the kitchen for some much needed coffee. Piz was awake and ready. He sat at the table eating breakfast.

"I mean this in the most respectful way," he said looking concerned, "but you look awful."

"I feel awful," Veronica conceded.

Piz scratched his head and pretended to be incredibly interested in his scrambled eggs.

"The case took a turn last night," she admitted.

"I figured as much. Are you going to be staying here longer than planned?"

"No, I have to get back to work. I figured I'll just pass what I have off to my dad, and I'll do what I can from New York. I can't just stay in Neptune for Dick Casablancas."

Piz watched her for what seemed like a long time. She knew he was trying to read her because he couldn't really bring himself to believe she would give up that easily on a case. But he was wrong, her first adult job and new life was much more important to maintain than being here to hold Dick's hand. Somewhere down the line he was bound to end up where he was now. He wasn't careful nor was he the poster child for good behavior. All of his bad choices had led him to this exact moment. It wasn't _her_ fault, and she couldn't lose everything she had built for herself, just so she could help a guy who had treated her less than amicably for the entirety of their relationship.

_Yet why do I feel like I'm lying to myself when I say I don't want to stay? Come on, Veronica, it could be a case about a balding stranger who had lost his kitten and you would want to stay. What is it they say? Once a P.I. always a P.I.?_

"Well, I'm sure your father will be just as qualified to solve this case as you are. Dick will be in good hands…" Piz' face blushed as soon as the words left his mouth. She opened her mouth to make a snarky quip about the innuendo he had just created but he stopped her, "Don't even say it," he laughed.

_Good hands indeed. But I would rather my dad not get involved in a case with The Fitzpatricks again…_ She decided to put all thoughts about the case to rest for the time being. She needed to run by Mac's and Wallace's to say goodbye before leaving.

_Goodbye. I hate that word._

* * *

 

Mac waited for Veronica's dad's car to pull into her driveway. She always hated this part about trips. She didn't like to admit that Veronica was thousands of miles away from her. Mac never liked high school, or even undergrad for that matter, but she did like having Veronica close by. It was lonely when her only friend was Wallace. Sure, he was a good friend, but sometimes Mac just needed a little girl time.

When she saw the car she opened her front door and stepped into the morning air. It was brisk, but she could hardly feel the pricking on her skin. Secretly, she had hoped giving Veronica this case would make her friend stay in town longer, but to her shock and dismay, Veronica adamantly refused to change plans, and was still heading back to New York.

"Hey! Get off my lawn!" Mac joked as Veronica stepped out of her car. Veronica gave a wide smile and shook her head.

"This tiny piece of grass? It can hardly be considered a lawn."

"It's my personally owned piece of grass though. Don't be a hater."

The girls danced around the subject of Veronica's departure. Mac knew that Veronica hated saying goodbye as much as she did. They stood around making small talked for a few minutes. Veronica informed her that Keith would be taking Dick's case. She was also pretty positive that the accident was gang related. Mac promised that she would try to help Keith as much as she could on her spare time.

_Dick will not be too happy that Veronica is dumping his case._ He was pretty unwavering about having only Veronica help him- as if she was the only private investigator to solve any crimes. Mac knew it came down to their history. Veronica got him in a different way than any detective would. Dick didn't like being serious, but he had let his underbelly show when he was talking to Mac the night he called her drunk and beaten. He was really scared.

"Call me with any new information. That is, if you actually keep looking into this," Mac told her best friend. Veronica nodded and promised she would. They hugged and said their goodbyes, and just like that she was gone again.

_Just come home,_ Mac thought bitterly as the car drove out of sight. She knew that one day Veronica would be back for good, it was inevitable. She just needed to figure that out on her own.

* * *

 

Saying goodbye to Wallace was the hardest. Leaving him behind in Neptune was almost enough to keep her from ever leaving. He didn't make very much, so he had never been able to make it over to New York. With her crazy schedule she rarely made it home. She was lucky her dad was able to fly to the East Coast as often as he did otherwise being away from Neptune would be absolutely unbearable.

Wallace always acted tough when they said goodbye, but Keith had told her once that Wallace was never the same after she left home. He was quieter and more serious. Veronica doubted it had anything to really do with her and chalked it up to him maturing. Either way, she wished she could just take her best friend back with her. It would be like having a piece of home with her.

As she saw Wallace disappear in the rearview mirror, it struck her that she may get to a point where she never saw him. If she stayed in New York, she would likely settle down and start a family there. Her dad always talked about moving to The Big Apple so she wouldn't be surprised if he were to move his business to the busy streets of NYC. Wallace never had any intention of leaving Neptune, for whatever reason he liked it there. It didn't make any logical sense for either of them to travel across the country for a couple days just to visit. Like so many people, they would fall out of contact and he would be the friend she told her kids about as she went through photo albums.

_That can't happen. He's my brother…_

She had never felt this kind of overwhelming dread about the future before. It was a new experience, and she didn't like it.

She thought of all the people she would never see again if she settled down in New York. There was Wallace, Mac, Alicia…

_Logan._

Even when she had told Logan she wanted him out of her life forever, she hadn't _actually_ meant forever. It was meant to have been a dramatic response to a shitty situation. Now, the thought of never seeing him again made her feel physically ill.

_Lord, Veronica. A tad melodramatic today, aren't we?_

She was a marshmallow. No getting around that. Everyone who knew her best, knew that fact. She looked at the time. She still had an hour before she and Piz would need head to the airport. She had exactly enough time to get _all_ her goodbyes out.

* * *

 

Logan's doorbell rang, which made him jump. He wasn't expecting anyone, and as far as he knew, Carrie wasn't either.

"Carrie! Did you order takeout?" he shouted.

A "no" came from his girlfriend who was upstairs with her publicist. They were plotting her next red carpet appearance.

He sighed and went to answer the door. When he checked through the peephole he saw a familiar face staring back at him.

_Veronica?_

He unlocked the door and slowly opened it.

"Hey," she said softly.

He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Whatever Veronica had to say, he didn't want Carrie hearing if she were to come downstairs.

"What are you doing here, Veronica?"

He watched as she stared at his shoulder. Her lips were in a thin line.

"Honestly? I don't know. To say goodbye, I guess," she answered.

"So you're actually heading home? This will go in my scrapbook as 'Veronica Mars Leaves Case Behind for New York Life'."

"Well, considering I have school and a job back in New York…"

"No, I'm just giving you a hard time. I'm glad you're doing what's best for you. It's all I ever wanted to see you do," he cut her off. He had no intentions of making her feel bad before she left.

"Thanks," she muttered halfheartedly.

"When will you be back?" he asked a little too earnestly.

"Not for a while. Dad's coming to New York for Christmas."

"Oh."

Something deep down told him she wasn't intending on ever coming back home. Something in her voice sounded so final. He shoved his hands in his jean's pockets. He didn't know what to say.

_'These past years have been great! See you on the flipside?' Or perhaps, 'Goodbye, Veronica. Make sure you name one of your sons Logan.'_ He wasn't ready for this. Not another long term goodbye. Not from her.

"It was nice seeing you while I was here. It feels nice to have things…"

"Cleared," he finished for her. She just nodded and shifted her gaze upwards to meet his eyes.

"I guess this is where I cue the sad music." He hated that he always had to joke in moments like this, but when he saw her eyes light up a little, it was worth it.

"If you're in New York…"

"I'll stop by," he smiled. He mentally made note he would need to find an excuse to fly to the East Coast.

_This isn't goodbye,_ he decided.

"I'll see you later," was the phrase Veronica decided to go with.

"I'll keep in touch?"

It sounded much more like a question than a statement. They had left the decision of their friendship up in the air. He wasn't sure if she would even want him to stay in touch.

"You know my number," she confirmed.

He pulled her into a hug. He was pretty sure he startled her, but he needed to hold her one last time. He could smell her shampoo. It was a familiar and comforting smell. She didn't push him away, but instead she held him around his waist, nestling her face into his chest.

When they finally let go of each other, he saw the relief in her eyes that he was hoping for.

_This isn't goodbye,_ he repeated silently and much more confidently than before.

She gave a small wave before descending down the steps. He watched her leave, knowing deep down one day he would never have to do this again.


	10. Chapter 10

Veronica sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair in the terminal as she waited for her flight. People of all backgrounds passed her and she watched them. Some people seemed sad, others were happy. She wondered where they were all heading. Home? To a loved one? A business trip? One thing Veronica had always loved about P.I. work and photography was the people she got to watch. She would analyze them as she snapped photos. Knowing people was kind of her thing. Watching people was one of her weird, twisted amusements.

_"Your safety is our top priority. Please report any suspicious behavior and do not handle any baggage…"_ The same woman's voice rang through the airport every ten minutes.

Piz had already gotten on his flight and he was well on his way to PDX. She had given him a short goodbye. It wasn't very heartfelt, but after everything that morning with Mac, Wallace, and Logan, she wasn't in the mood to be cute or romantic. Honestly she was frustrated that he was so happy and flippant about life. How wasn't he concerned about being stuck in New York for the rest of his life?

_"…flight to Phoenix is now boarding. Seats 1-30 are boarding…"_

It hit her. New York _was_ his home. He had a life, friends, a good job in NYC. It was his home, and he had found his place there. A dull ache formed in her heart. It was the realization that New York would never be that for her. While she could come up with a million reasons why she should be there, her heart would always remain in Neptune.

" _Your safety is our top priority…"_

Suddenly nothing made sense. Why was she about to fly across the country only to be miserable? Everything was already here in California. She had a job, friends, family. What did New York have other than school, a great job, and the chance to rekindle an old flame?

_It's Piz. Not just any "old flame." He deserves to have more credit and more of a consideration than that._

But she knew Piz was settled _in_ New York. If she stayed with him, she would have to settle _for_ New York. Veronica was never someone to just "settle." In fact she refused to settle. A large group of people swarmed past her. Nausea was setting in, and she needed to get out of there. She stood.

_"Flight 476 is now boarding…"_

Veronica froze.

_So this is what they call a crossroads._

* * *

Carrie had dragged Logan out to dinner. She was checking out the food of some new gastro pub that she wanted to cater her next party. He tried to be in the moment with her, but she was in one of her moods, and he didn't feel like being the bad guy again.

"I'm having people over tonight," she suddenly stated in between bites. Logan looked up from his phone.

"You know I don't like having people at my house." He hoped the emphasis on "my" wasn't too harsh.

"Chill, Lo. We're going to be on the beach."

"Who are these people you speak of?" he asked a little quieter.

"Gia, Luke, the whole gang. You can join us if you don't wanna be a lame ass," she smiled mischievously.

"Yeah, we'll see," he shrugged off.

Staring at the foam in his beer, he tried to not be irritated with Carrie. She was so self-centered. He hated that he was dating another Lily. As much as he loved both of them, he knew he would never be entirely happy in those kinds of relationships.

"Logan, can you please pretend you actually care about me and what I'm trying to do here?" Carrie's agitated voice broke the silence.

"Of course, dear. This club sandwich and pear salad is superb. Your guests will be dazzled."

"Forget it."

It was clear their dinner date was coming to an end. Fidgeting with her purse, Carrie pretended to be preoccupied. Logan reached for the bill and placed a crisp hundred dollar bill in the flap. Carrie stood and started to make her way to the exit, not looking to see if Logan was following her. He breathed in slowly, and stood.

* * *

 

Veronica silently paced the porch before she had enough courage to knock on the door. She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing and why she had chosen what she had chosen.

As soon as she saw her dad's face when he opened his front door, all her worries washed away and she heaved a giant sigh of relief.

"Honey? This isn't New York?"

She knew he was half kidding, but she couldn't bring herself to answer any of his questions at the moment. Pressing her head into her dad's shoulder she felt tears come to her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her gently.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I'm home," she finally managed, "Dad, I'm home."

* * *

 

Mac received a phone call from a very emotional Veronica that evening. According to her friend, she was coming home for good. Mac thought she was hearing things or hallucinating, but Veronica assured her she was serious. They arranged for a get together that night. Wallace had already been informed of his friend's homecoming, and had immediately cooked up a plan to have a family BBQ.

Looking at her watch she realized that she was supposed to call Dick over an hour ago. Knowing Dick, he probably didn't notice, but Mac was usually punctual and so she quickly dialed his number.

"Mac Attack! What up, girl."

"Dick, I'm going to have to reschedule our meeting. Veronica decided to stay…"

"It's cool, Logan and Carrie, er Bonnie or whatever, are having a kick back, anyway… Wait Ronnie is staying?"

"Yeah, she didn't get on the plane. She came home. She said she's staying for good."

There was a small pause before she heard a snicker and he replied, "Man, Logan and Veronica's sleepover must have had some crazy good sex."

"Sleepover…?" Mac was confused. What was Dick talking about? Then it donned on her. Veronica needing an alibi… She was with Logan all night?

"Yeah, Logan totally had her over the night before Thanksgiving. I tried to get the details, but he wasn't into the whole kiss and yell thing."

"Kiss and tell," Mac absentmindedly corrected.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I don't wanna keep you from your best friend. Tell her I say hi. Stop by tonight," he paused for a second as if he was thinking about what he was implying, "Only if you want to," he rushed.

"Yeah, maybe. Thanks Dick, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, M-Dawg," he said before clicking the line off.

_Why didn't she tell me she was with Logan? She's in so much trouble for this. The fact that_ Dick _knew and not me?_

Why didn't Veronica tell her? Mac was never one to judge. She liked Logan… a little more than Piz if she were to be honest. He was a cool guy, and they got along. Did she have something to hide about their little rendezvous? Is that why she kept it from her best friend?

Mac smirked. She'd get answers out of Veronica, one way or another.

* * *

Once Mac arrived, Veronica informed her that Wallace had to cancel. He had forgotten that he had promised Darrell that he would take him to the movies. He promised that he would swing by the next day to see his best friend.

Veronica and Keith had spent the remainder of the day going over logistics. When she would get her stuff from New York, how she needed to call her job and let them know what was going on, and also getting a hold of her school to inform them that she would not be finishing. There was a lot to get done, but her dad helped her feel less overwhelmed by it all. He was surprisingly supportive of the decision. She knew he wasn't fully excited over his daughter quitting a good job and dropping out of school, but she knew that he knew her well. He knew that she was home in Neptune, and her heart was in P.I. work.

Mac pulled Veronica aside after an hour of small talk and snacks.

"So I talked to Dick today. He mentioned that you and Logan had a sleepover?"

Veronica was caught off guard at the mention of her and Logan's night, so when she tried to fake confusion, it didn't come off as well as she had liked. She was caught.

"I was going to tell you," Veronica whispered. Her dad was yelling at the TV. Jeopardy was on and he always liked to believe he was smarter than the contestants.

"Were you _really_?" Mac eyed her.

"No," she admitted. "How did Dick know?"

"He figured it out!"

"Wow, the boy does have a brain in there…"

"Better watch out, he'll give you a run for your money if he starts up his own investigation agency," Mac laughed.

"Please, dear Mac, I'm offended."

Veronica knew her best friend wouldn't let her get out of telling her the entire story about what happened so she began from the beginning.

"Did you…?" Mac wiggled her eyebrows indicating what she meant.

"No, I passed out and he must have passed out after me. Nothing happened. No kissing let alone…"

"Cuddling?" Mac laughed. Veronica 's breath caught in her throat. She wasn't expecting to be asked that question. When she didn't answer, she knew Mac had caught on.

"It was nothing," Veronica promised to a little too hastily.

"Nothing," Mac repeated sarcastically. She hated when Mac did that.

_Nothing._ Veronica repeated to herself.

Earlier that night Veronica had called Piz. He was shocked to hear that she wasn't heading back to New York, but she had a feeling he was less shocked when she told him that she was ending things. He seemed irritated more than anything, but they seemingly ended things on an amicable note. He would be okay, Veronica decided. He was going to be a famous radio host one day and he would marry a girl who treated him the way he deserved. He would pop a few kiddos out, and he would undoubtedly be a good dad. Yes, Piz would be just fine without her.

"Sooo…" Mac started.

"No. The answer is no. Whenever you start anything out that way, you're always about to put me in a weird situation."

"Dick invited us to a kickback tonight," Mac informed her slowly. There was a catch. Veronica knew it. "At Logan's," she finished.

"Mac…" Veronica groaned.

"Come on, won't it be great to just show up. The look on Logan's face will be priceless."

"I'm more concerned about the look on his _girlfriend's_ face," Veronica mumbled.

Mac continued to push the matter further until Veronica agreed to go. It would be nice to surprise Logan. Although, she wondered if this whole, saying goodbye and seeing her again shortly after, was getting on his nerves.

_I guess there's only one way to find out_.

* * *

 

Mac did a quick scan of the crowd as they approached the fire. She was looking for a certain blonde surfer who would be pleasantly surprised she showed up. When she didn't see him, she guessed that he must be running late. As Mac and Veronica got closer, she was relieved to find it wasn't a rager. Some people had beers, but overall it was a group of well-dressed men and women chatting and eating barbeque.

_Maybe_ that's _why Dick's presence is missing. He came and saw it wasn't his kind of party and ditched._

She wouldn't have been surprised if he went to find a more "lively" party to join, but just as she started to think he wouldn't show, she heard his obnoxious laugh. Turning, she saw him high fiving a few of the guys. He was dressed far less formally than everyone else in his wetsuit.

"Macster, what up! You made it," he cheered. He turned solemnly towards Veronica, "Ronnie, a pleasure to see you again. Glad to see my ominous jail sentence has kept you with us a little while longer."

"Dick," was all she replied. Mac watched him pass the crowd and head towards the water. Leave it to Dick to choose surfing over his best friend's house party.

"Remind me again, why you wanted me to help him?" Veronica asked after Mac had watched Dick just a second too long.

"He's my friend and you love taking on new and exciting cases?" Mac answered giving Veronica a cheesy smile.

"Whatever you say, but you owe me," Veronica gave her the eye, and Mac nodded. "And we need to have a girls' night. I feel out of the loop," she added. Mac nodded more earnestly.

"Don't tell Wallace, because he tries so hard, but his pep talks just aren't the same." Mac clasped her hands together and shook them. Veronica laughed and hip bumped her friend. Mac liked seeing her like this. She was happy and carefree. It wasn't long before Veronica pulled Mac to the food line. Mac gave one more glance towards the water, and caught a glimpse of Dick paddling out in the ocean. She tried to ignore the tug at her heart, but it was too evident to be brushed aside.

_Damnit,_ she thought regretfully. She didn't want to admit she cared for Dick much more than she ever let on, but there it was. The tugging of her cold, broken heart.

Mac had kept in some contact with Logan after Veronica left sophomore year. He was hurting for a piece of Veronica, Mac was sure of it, but he always disguised it with the need for help with homework. She would visit him at his hotel suite, and his BFF Dick was always hanging around. At first Dick acted weird whenever she was around, but eventually he warmed up to her. She would kick his ass at video games, and he seemed to admire her for that. After a while he began texting her whenever he needed help with anything. She would also get the occasional drunk call, and his undecipherable jabbering about how he was sorry for being such an ass. They had a coming-to-Jesus-moment one day when they actually sat down for coffee and he explained in depth what he had always done to Beaver and why he was so sorry for everything. It took everything within her not to grab his hands and just hold him, but she did accept his apology. After that day, they seemed to be pretty good friends, but he had eventually resorted back to his shallow, joking self.

That one glimmering memory of Dick seemed to be enough for her, though. It kept her going whenever he pissed her off. He was broken and royally screwed up, and so she forgave him for all of his sarcastic jokes and jabs. She had seen the real Dick a few times, and it was something neither of them could deny.

"Earth to Mac." Veronica was waving her hand between Mac and her line of vision.

"Sorry," she mumbled to her friend.

"Dick," Veronica placed her hands on her heart and sighed dreamily, "that boy will do it for ya," she joked. Mac simply forced a grunt and Veronica's eyes widened with realization. "You're going to have to spill sooner or later," she warned.

Mac knew Veronica wouldn't let the subject disappear. The sooner Mac accepted her fate, the better.

"Fine, but not here."

* * *

 

Veronica kept her eyes peeled for Logan. Thus far, he was rather invisible. His arm candy was seemingly missing as well. She shrugged it off and assumed they were probably too busy in each other's company to show their faces to the likes of these folks.

_I wonder if Alice will stop by. She may be Carrie's type. Maybe she'll be down for a three-way,_ Veronica thought harshly. She immediately felt guilty for being so mean, but part of her was still incredibly angry at Logan.

"Wonder where our hosts are?" Mac thought aloud. Veronica shrugged nonchalantly, and took another bite of her hotdog. New York City's hotdogs _were_ better. At least they had that going for them.

As time passed, Veronica became increasingly more irritated. She didn't know anyone that was there except for Mac and Dick. Currently they were both consumed with each other's presence and Veronica had quickly become an awkward third wheel. Dick was discussing his new surf board with Mac, and Mac, who Veronica knew could care less about surfing, was smiling and nodding as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever listened to.

Veronica looked up as she heard a loud commotion. A group of people were making their way to the fire. She recognized a few of the faces: Gia, Luke, and Stu. She had heard that Gia and Luke were dating. As for Stu, Veronica puzzled at his connection with the group. He was always an outcast at Neptune High, but he apparently had found his way into the prestigious 09er group after graduation.

_I wonder if that has anything to do with his variety of…_ candy _… he provides?_ Veronica thought to herself. It was the only logical explanation as to why he would be allowed into their inner circle.

Dick looked up from his surf board and immediately left Mac's side to join his friends. He high fived them and joined them as they set up the keg they had brought.

"Well, this was fun while it lasted," Mac muttered quietly. Veronica felt bad for her friend, but she wasn't surprised by Dick's actions. Everyone who had stayed in Neptune still seemed to be stuck in high school. They didn't stray far from their high school cliques. Mac and Veronica were never going to be part of the illustrious 09er group. That's just how Neptune worked.

"Logan!" she heard Dick yell. She felt her head snap up to see Logan and Carrie walking from their beach house. Her heart quickened, and she tried to figure out what she was going to say to him once he saw her. Carrie's presence only made her that much more nervous. She had never really been a part of Veronica's fan club.

Once the couple joined Dick and his friends, she had decided it was best to just say a quick hello to Logan and leave. Being there suddenly felt like a stupid mistake. She watched as he greeted his friends with a smile, although his eyes didn't match the enthusiasm he was trying to portray. Those same eyes lifted and searched the small crowd of people and eventually landed on her. They widened and he started towards her.

"I'll leave you two alone," Mac smirked before heading towards the keg.

She watched Logan get closer and closer.

_Three feet, two feet…_

"Veronica? I thought…" He didn't finish his question.

"I've decided to stay in Neptune. Dad could use help at the office," she lied. It wasn't the response she had been planning, but the lie had slipped through before she could stop it.

"So you're staying for good?"

"I wouldn't say 'for good,' but I'm staying for now."

That answer seemed to satisfy him.

"And you've got Dick's case," he pointed out. She was glad that he understood that she needed excuses for staying. He knew her too well. She was far too stubborn to admit that she wanted to actually stay here for herself.

"Right."

They stood around for a couple more seconds, soaking in each other's presences. Carrie called Logan's name, snapping them out of their trance.

"You coming?" he asked motioning towards the keg. Veronica nodded, and followed him.

"Carrie," Logan addressed his girlfriend, "You remember Veronica."

"We _all_ remember Veronica Mars." Carrie's words were dicey and her eyes were narrowed.

"Ve _ron_ ica Mars. Long time no see, girlfriend," Gia cut in with her annoyingly bouncy voice.

"Gia," Veronica sighed.

After a while the group's focus shifted off of Veronica, and they began conversing amongst each other. Mac was sandwiched between her and Dick, and was trying to give both of them equal attention. Carrie and Logan sat on a bench across from them. The singer's attention was on her best friend, Gia, while Logan's was preoccupied with the blonde across from him. Veronica tried to ignore his gaze, but frequently found herself returning his stare.

After several drinks Carrie pointed at Veronica, "So Veronica, how is that sex tape thing going?" The mention of the embarrassing video threw Veronica off. Carrie continued, "You know, I always tried to get Logan to do one with me. He was always too shy to agree," she laughed. Logan whispered something in her ear angrily, but she ignored him and continued, " _Shy_! Imagine that! Logan being shy in the bedroom. We both know how ironic _that_ is."

"Carrie stop," Logan's voice warned. Everyone's eyes were on the three of them. Most people seemed amused by the drama they were witnessing.

"I guess sex tapes are just things that his exes do," Carrie sighed with mock sadness. "Of course, Lilly's didn't end well, did it Lo…" Logan snapped. The sound of Lilly's name coming from Carrie made Veronica sick. How could she bring up her best friend's death so nonchalantly?

"How _dare_ you talk about Lilly like that!" Logan yelled. Carrie stood and got in his face, throwing her cup down.

"What?! You upset because I brought up that slut's name?" she fought back. Logan turned his back and began walking away. Veronica's mouth was open with shock at the scene before her.

"Walk away, Logan! Walk away like you always do!" Carrie called after him. Gia stifled a giggle and a few of the people in the group began to chuckle. Dick shifted awkwardly in his seat.

_Do something,_ Veronica demanded internally. She stood quietly and walked after Logan.

"Figures," she heard Carrie's voice laugh. She ignored the stares and the whispers as she left them behind her.

* * *

 

"Logan, wait," he heard a voice calling after him. At first he thought it was Carrie following him to apologize, but he realized the voice didn't belong to her. He reached his back porch before he turned around to see Veronica running towards him.

"I'm fine," he lied quietly, but he knew she knew better.

"That was… sufficiently awkward," Veronica managed after a while.

"Welcome to my life," he returned bitterly.

"Why do you put up with that?"

He didn't have an answer. "I'm done with her," he decided out loud. Veronica shifted her weight, clearly unsure how to respond to what was going on. "I mean, Lilly?" he continued, "How could she… Lilly's dead… She had no right," he stammered.

"I know," Veronica whispered. She reached out her hand. He took it into his own, and breathed deeply.

"I'm glad you're back, even if it's just for now," he told her. He meant it with every fiber in his being. Her being here was a comfort he had needed for a while. She was one of few people who actually understood him. She didn't say anything back, but she squeezed his hand to let him know she agreed.

* * *

 

After Logan and Veronica had left, the group dispersed. Carrie had been whisked away by Gia and Luke. Apparently there was a party in L.A. that was supposed to be amazing. They had asked Mac and Dick if they wanted to join, they were all going in Luke's limo, but after Mac declined Dick followed suit.

"You could have gone, you know," Mac told him as they sat on a blanket near the water. Dick had gone back out and night surfed for a while before joining her.

"Yeah, well, I decided I should stay out of the party scene. Keep my image clean."

"Right."

They sat together quietly. Dick picked up a fist of sand and threw it before turning and saying, "Do you think Veronica is gonna figure this thing out… I mean do you think I'll really end up in prison?" The anxiety in his voice was evident and caught her off guard.

"She's doing her best." She tried to sound convincing, but he slumped his shoulders and let out a frustrated breath.

"I know I'm not exactly the guy you would want to spend your Friday night, but thanks for being my friend, Mac. After everything I've put you through…"

She really didn't know what to say. They had this conversation before, but he always seemed to come back to this place where he felt the need to apologize again.

"I've already told you, it's all in the past. We're cool."

"I know. But it's like… You're so smart, and completely out of my league. I honestly don't know what you see in me. I'm just some surfer dude who is being charged with murder." Honesty was never one of Dick's strongest attributes, but in this moment, she realized that this was the reason she stuck around. There was much more to him than what he let people see. "Anyway," he continued sounding brighter, "You think Logan and Veronica are doin' it?"

"Oh my gosh, Dick," Mac laughed shoving him.

"What? It happened way more in college than you think it did. They're like rabbits when they're together."

_Gross. Thank you for that image, Dick._

"They're not together, Dick. They're friends."

"Yeah, for now. Just wait."

_He's right, you know. It's only a matter of time. This is just what they do, s_ he agreed silently.

Dick stood and grabbed his board. Heading to the water, he turned and flashed his white smile at her. She watched happily without realizing that she was, in fact, the happiest she had been in a while. Her best friend was finally back, she was on track for an amazing vocation, and she was sitting on the beach, without a concern in the world, watching the idiot, Dick, surf. But this was Neptune. Happiness was short lived. She knew something was bound to be around the corner, but until then, she was going to enjoy herself and the simple joy of watching the boy she liked having carefree fun in the moonlight.


	11. Chapter 11

After a while Veronica was able to convince Logan to return to the fire, but as they approached the dying flame, she realized that everyone had left. She spotted Mac further down the beach towards the water, and assumed that Dick was surfing.

"A lively bunch, here," Logan joked as he kicked the sand.

"At least you've been saved from the awkward stares," she replied. He gave her a sideways glance and smiled.

"True." He found Dick and Mac and watched Dick ride a wave before continuing, "Looks like our pals have found a way into each other's hearts."

"You think?" Veronica knew that something was up between the two, but she was really hoping it was less romantic and more friendly. As she followed Logan's gaze she watched her best friend clap and laugh as Dick wiped out. She seemed so happy and Veronica began to feel guilty for being so against the idea of Mac and Dick. Did she really have the right to take that from her best friend?

"She's good for him. And it looks like he makes her happy. I've spent a good amount of time with them. He's not as bad as you think he is, Veronica." Logan's voice sounded earnest and genuine.

Wanting to change the subject Veronica turned the attention back to Logan's love problems. "What are you going to do about Carrie?" she asked.

He sat down on one of the benches and focused on the fire. She sat down next to him and stretched out her hands, allowing the flames to warm her. It was a beautiful, clear night. Millions of stars sparkled across the sky.

"It has to end. I can't keep doing this," his voice broke the silence. He let out a deep sigh and slapped his legs. "Maybe someday I'll have better luck at this love thing."

_So he_ loved _her? Does he still love her? Come on, Veronica. They've been together long enough, of course he does._

"We can't all be good at it," Veronica chimed in giving a weak smile. The returned smile didn't seem as genuine as she had hoped for. She didn't like the idea of Logan being with one of her least favorite people, but she hated seeing him like this. After a few minutes, she and Logan looked up to see Mac and Dick heading back.

"I can help clean this all up," Veronica offered motioning to the table full of wasted food.

"Thanks. What would I do without you?" he asked halfheartedly.

"You'd figure something out."

As Dick and Mac approached, Dick dropped his board and wrapped an arm around Mac's shoulder.

"What are you love birds up to?" he called.

"Dick, we could ask the same thing," Logan responded dryly. He stood and headed to the table. Veronica followed and started collecting the plates and napkins. She couldn't ignore that he hadn't tried to correct Dick's assumption, but she chalked it up to him being exhausted from arguing with Carrie.

"Are you going to save _any_ of this food?" she asked him incredulously. When he shook his head no, she started throwing away the leftover food into an empty garbage can that was placed beside the table. "You and your 09er buddies are _so_ resourceful," she joked, but he really didn't seem like he was in the mood for jokes. Mac and her beau followed them, and began to quietly clean up- the obvious tension in the air.

Veronica eyed them suspiciously, trying to catch any indication of whether or not they were "a thing", but they kept quiet and barely made eye contact with each other. If there was something going on, they were trying hard to keep anyone from knowing.

"I have to be at my parents' early tomorrow morning, they're taking us camping for a few days," Mac finally said.

Dick looked at her with a momentary hint of disappointment before remarking, "Gross. I'm so glad I grew up on this side of town. Camping with my family sounds like a nightmare."

"To be fair, you'd be camping with yourself alone," Logan mused.

"Geeze, harsh much? You'd be camping alone too, bro." Veronica couldn't tell if Dick was truly offended, but she knew Logan would be.

"I always have Trina," he countered a bit too harshly to be taken as a real joke. Mac looked from the boys to Veronica. She must have felt as awkward as Veronica about this turn of conversation.

"Well," Mac interrupted, "We're going to a cabin. It's something you would be interested in. I mean not with _my_ family, but it'll be nice. It's not like we'll be out in the wild like Bear Grylls or anything."

That seemed to shut the boys up. They looked at each other apologetically, but neither was going to say sorry.

"Thanks for the help, guys, but I can get the rest. I'm sure you have places to be," Logan changed the subject.

Mac nodded, "I should be getting home," she agreed. "Veronica, you ready? You're my ride…"

"I got ya!" Dick chimed in. Mac looked at Veronica for approval. When she saw that her best friend seemed indifferent, she agreed, and the two headed out.

"It _is_ weird, I'll give you that," Logan said after watching their friends leave.

Veronica made a face, not wanting to discuss it further. She wanted to help Logan carry lawn chairs and containers to Logan's house before she headed home. She felt bad that he was left with Carrie's mess, but she reminded herself that he was the one who got himself into the predicament he was in. She _was_ Carrie Bishop after all, what did he expect?

They didn't really talk as they travelled back and forth from the beach to his house. He was in a bad mood, and she knew that she would rather leave him to his thoughts than unleash his anger.

_And we're already back to our old ways._

After the last chair was brought in, he led her up his back porch's stairs and into his warm home. He locked the back door behind them, and plopped onto his couch. Uncertain if he wanted her to leave or stay, she stood awkwardly in her place, until he gave notice of her.

"You staying or going?" he asked. His words were icy, and she was taken aback.

She scratched the back of her head before shrugging, "It's really up to you."

He turned away and laid down on the couch, closing his eyes.

_Okay? I guess I'll be going…_

She turned and started for the front door.

"Don't go," he whispered. It stopped her dead in her tracks. The words echoed through her mind. Turning, she saw he had opened his eyes again, and he had propped himself up by his elbows. "I could use a friend," he continued a little louder.

"Okay."

"You can go if you want. I know your dad…"

"Logan, I said okay."

She didn't move from where she stood. They continued to keep their eyes locked before the sound of a door opening jolted them back to reality.

"Logan Fucking Echolls," Carrie's angry voice came from the front door.

"In here, sweetheart," Logan replied sarcastically with venom. He looked at Veronica, "This could get ugly," he warned.

Veronica willed herself to move, to run away, but she stood frozen.

"Why the hell is _she_ still here?" Carrie demanded as she rounded the corner.

"She helped me clean your mess. As you know, I am so very fond of cleaning up after you."

"I can go…" Veronica started.

"No, don't. Stay," Carrie pointed at her. "I'm just getting a few things. I'll have Gia and Luke come by for the rest of my stuff later." Her voice was tinged with vehemence.

"So this is it?" Logan asked.

Veronica was puzzled by his question. Didn't he want it to be over between the two of them? He sounded slightly upset about her leaving, but Veronica tried to ignore the jealously creeping in.

"I thought that was pretty clear, Logan."

He didn't respond, but instead stood and headed back outside through the back door. Carrie stormed up the stairs, leaving Veronica alone. She could hear the girl stomping around upstairs, making a scene. She wanted desperately to be far away from this entire situation, but she knew after Carrie was gone, Logan would want her there.

As Carrie finally appeared again, she glared at Veronica, "Have fun with him. Just know, you'll just be sloppy seconds."

She turned and began to march away. The fighter in Veronica was steaming. "Wouldn't _you_ be sloppy seconds? I mean, I did date him before you." She wasn't sure if Carrie would let her have the last word, but to her surprise, Carrie didn't turn to face Veronica, but instead continued right out the front door. The slamming of the door made Veronica cringe, and cued Logan to reappear.

"I'm really sorry about that."

"It's okay," she lied. "How are you?"

"I'll be alright."

She knew he would be alright. He was always one to bounce back.

* * *

 

"So have you learned anything new with Dick's case?" Logan asked as he bit down on a pen. Veronica and Logan were sitting at her dad's dining room table with their laptops open. It had been exactly a week since Logan and Carrie had broken up, and Veronica had tried her hardest at keeping her oldest friend's mind preoccupied.

Because she didn't have school or another job, Veronica's free time consisted of hanging out with her dad at the office, seeing her friends, and working on Dick's case. The more she looked into the case, the more she was determined to solve it, and after some digging, she had found a few more things worth noting. After speaking with several witnesses, she had concluded that Alice seemed to be the one that stole Dick's car. People had seen her in it the day after it had been stolen. But after that, the car apparently disappeared. A coworker of Alice said that she had told her that the car had been borrowed and that she returned it to the owner the following day, the day of the accident. Clearly, she hadn't returned it to Dick, so Veronica was determined to find out exactly who had been given the car, if Alice had, in fact, dumped it.

Two days previously, Dick had received a phone call from a burner phone. The man on the other line had told him that he should watch his back because "they were watching him." Veronica assumed, "they" must be the Fitzpatricks. Dick tried to brush it off, but Veronica had been able to convince him that he should stay in as much as possible just in case the threat was real.

Veronica knew two things for sure. First, she needed to find out who was the last person to possess the stolen vehicle. Whoever Alice gave the car to had to know who was driving at the time of the accident. Second, she knew she couldn't just walk into an Irish pub and strike up a conversation with any of the Fighting Fitzpatricks. The Mars name wasn't exactly highly esteemed in their community. She didn't want to be in contact with Alice, considering her connection to the family, but she had no choice. She would need to contact the girl again. She was angry about that for more than one reason and wasn't looking forward to talking with her again.

"Nothing new," Veronica sighed shutting her laptop. "I'm supposed to meet up with Alice again tomorrow. I'm hoping she'll finally cave and tell me what I need to know. She clearly wasn't involved in the accident, and if she really is a Fitzpatrick, she'll want to know who killed Ailene just as much as we do."

The sound of Alice's name made Logan flinch. He had avoided talking about her as much as he could. He may have had a dysfunctional relationship with Carrie, and clearly Carrie was flawed, but he was still incredibly guilty for what he had done. Having to hear Veronica talk about her daily, didn't make forgiving himself any easier.

"Should be fun, give her my best."

"You mean you don't want to join me? I can't imagine why…" Veronica smiled at him, and he pouted. She was glad that he was finally easing up a bit. "Nothing about the accident makes any sense," Veronica continued, "I just hope she'll help us out."

"Well, if anyone can squeeze the information out of someone, it's Detective Veronica Mars."

He sat back in his chair and watched her. She could feel the intensity of his eyes as she jotted down contact information for Ailene's parents.

Logan quickly moved on from the topic of Alice. "I'm going to be having dinner with Heather tomorrow at my place. If you wanted to swing by, she'd probably be happy to see you." Veronica looked up with curiosity.

"Heather? Who's that?" she asked him.

_I don't remember him ever mentioning a Heather before…_

"You met her once. Freshman year of college. She was the bubbly short brunette from the elevator." Veronica continued to stare at Logan confused so he continued, "She was the little girl you met at The Grand after we had broken up. She did the whole radio dedication thing."

It donned on Veronica who Logan was talking about. She hadn't realized that Logan had kept in contact with little Heather. He had taken it upon himself to be a big brother figure to Dick's ex's little sister, but she assumed that when Dick had cut all ties with Melinda, Logan would have stopped talking to Heather too. She had never really known Heather, and had only met her once. The falling out with Logan had happened shortly after he had first watched the little girl. Seeing Logan with an eleven year old had been slightly confusing, but she had weaseled the information out of Mac, and had learned the full story behind the little girl who was wearing her shirt.

"She's got to be… about sixteen now?" Veronica asked. The amount of time that had passed between them hit her like a train. The little girl from the elevator was a high schooler.

"Turning seventeen in two months," he confirmed a bit sadly.

"Wow," was all Veronica could manage. Logan nodded in agreement.

"I don't see why she would want to see me," Veronica decided aloud.

"You clearly don't know Heather," he mumbled.

She wasn't entirely sure she understood what he meant, but Veronica agreed, "I can stop by if you think she'd want me to." Logan gave her a small smile and reached for his phone. He quickly texted someone, and when his phone dinged with a message, he grinned a large, goofy smile after reading whatever text he had received.

"I can go over my meeting with Alice when I see you at dinner," Veronica ignored Logan's sudden shift in mood. He seemed almost giddy.

_Logan's been possessed by a thirteen year old girl. Who are you and what have you done with my brooding friend?_

"Sounds good," he replied distracted by his conversation on his cell. He stood and collected his things. "I've got to get going. I'm picking Heather up at her house in a couple of hours."

"See you tomorrow," Veronica frowned as he ran off. He lifted his arm in the air to give a half assed goodbye.

_Well, he sure seemed to be in a hurry. What gives, Echolls?_

As weird as he was acting, she was just glad he seemed to be excited about something for once. The past week had been rough. He had been secretly sulking, even with Veronica's failed attempts at keeping his mind off of his break up. Every entertainment news outlet had splashed the Bonnie Deville and Logan Echolls' breakup story across every magazine. Veronica was again reminded why she was glad she was raised by her hardworking, lower middle class father. She would hate to have all of her intimate details read by every person in America.

She had seen firsthand what a mess Logan's relationship with Carrie had been, so she was surprised at how hard he was taking it. With Carrie gone, he was free to finally breathe and live; she had assumed he would be relieved to get rid of the singer. Apparently Veronica had misread the situation entirely.

_He_ did _love her,_ she realized. It was a revelation that Veronica had hoped to never come to. She had always cared about Piz, but she could honestly say she had never been in love with him. She had always kept that part of her heart for Logan, even after he was long gone. It was something she wasn't willing to give away to just anyone. Secretly, she had hoped he had done the same for her, but he hadn't. Wallace was right, he _had_ moved on, really moved on.

_He had every right to do that…_

Still, thinking about Logan loving someone else made her sick to her stomach. She knew she had no right to be upset about it, but she couldn't help it. She was too protective over what she considered hers. Logan's affection and love was something she always assumed belonged to her. Of course, she had come to terms that he would eventually move on, fall in love, and start a family of his own, but she didn't think he would do it before she had. She was angry he was able to have that when she had been so completely alone for the past four years. Sure, she had dated here and there. She had even slept with two other guys, but it had all been shallow representations of the real thing she once had with Logan. While she was off finishing her degree and meeting men she couldn't put names to, Logan had been falling in love with one of the people who had made Veronica's life hell in Neptune. Once again, life wasn't fair.

_But it's all history, Mars. Move on._

She wasn't sure if she'd be able to, but she was sure going to try.

* * *

 

Logan sped down the highway. He had informed Heather that a certain blonde would be joining them for dinner the following night. Heather's response was nothing short of what he had expected.

_"RU kidding me? I knew it! I knew u were destined for each other. YOU WILL SEE ECHOLLS YOU WILL SEE."_

She quickly began planning the evening for them. She was excited to get a chance to know Veronica. Through the years of his and Heather's relationship, Veronica's name was brought up a few times. Heather tried to stay away from the touchy subject, knowing how much it hurt to talk about her. They had their weekly video game tournaments, and eventually her mom decided Logan wasn't a creep, and began letting Heather visit occasionally. Their little friendship had bloomed into a sibling-esque relationship. Heather was the little sister he never had, and Logan was the doting older sibling Heather had always needed.

As Heather had aged, Logan's duties had turned from comrade to protector. He was the one that Heather came to when she needed any help with anything from homework, to problems with girls at school, to her dates. He had hated when she was at the age where boys were drooled over. Personally, he decided that no boy would ever be good enough for his little "sister."

As he neared Heather's house he gave her a call to let her know he was there. He put his car in park and waited for the nearly grown woman to hop in his car. She gave a huge smile when she saw him.

"So Veronica, huh? You _have_ to tell me the whole story, Logan. I can _not_ believe it."

"All in due time, padawan," he laughed. She buckled, and they headed back to Neptune.

* * *

 

"So you're telling me you're just friends?" Heather asked skeptically. She took a big bite of ice cream that they had picked up at Amy's, a tradition they liked to keep going.

"Yes."

"Oh, yeah, and thanks for letting me find out about your breakup from _Entertainment Tonight_. I feel the love, bro."

Logan's face reddened. He felt bad that he let that slip past him. Truthfully he hardly saw or talked to Heather recently. They were both so busy with life, it was getting harder to keep in touch. It wasn't until she had texted him that he remembered how much he needed to tell her.

"I'm sorry about that." He genuinely meant it, and she knew it.

"It's okay. I never liked her anyway," Heather shrugged. She put her ice cream down and stretched out her feet onto the coffee table. "What movie are we gonna watch?"

He smiled. It was nice to have Heather here, she always made him feel more relaxed. He could just relax and have fun whenever she visited.

"Whatever you want."

"Not _The Big Lebowski_. I'm so sick of watching that with you," she rolled her eyes. He chuckled.

"You don't like 'The Dude'?"

"Of course I do, I'm American, but you quote the entire movie. It's time for a new tradition, old man."

"Old man? Who are you calling an old man?"

"How about _The Notebook_?" Heather ignored him. Her voice was filled with mischief.

"I'd rather not…"

"You said _whatever_ I want," she whined.

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. I'll cry like a baby," he playfully joked back. A triumphant smile appeared on Heather's face.

"It's okay. I won't tell anyone."

He stretched across the couch and got comfortable. Heather imitated him as she laid down on the loveseat across from him.

This was the closest he had to family, and he cherished every second of it.

* * *

 

Heather had spent a large portion of the day cleaning every inch of Logan's house. She had told him that she was not going to let his dirty man-cave ruin Veronica's time. Logan was tempted to tell her that Veronica had seen his living spaces plenty of times before this, and wouldn't think twice about it, but he didn't want to ruin Heather's bubble of happiness.

"Do you think she'll be okay with lasagna? What if she hates it? This could be a make it or break it night for you guys." Heather was rambling on about all the worries racing through her mind.

"Heather, breathe," Logan smiled, "We aren't going to be a couple. Ever. We're old friends, and she'll be fine with everything. Also, I happen to know she's quite fond of lasagna."

"You don't know that you two won't get back together. It could happen," she said optimistically. When she saw Logan's raised eyebrow and lack of hope for that possibility, she added, "I'm sorry. It's just how we bonded. I feel this connection with her… and you two together. I'm sure being friends is good enough."

"It's good enough for me, and you need to stop worrying about my love life, and start spilling about yours. Who's this Jason kid?"

Her face was flushed and she hid a smile. "Oh, just some drama nerd, you know, an actor. He likes me, and he's cool, I guess. But Logan, boys have cooties. I couldn't possibly like a boy," she said sarcastically. He folded his arms across his chest unamused.

"Is he at least a nice kid?"

"You'd like him," Heather affirmed. He wasn't entirely convinced, but he had done enough Facebook stalking to come to a conclusion that he couldn't be that bad of a kid.

"Just know, I was a high school boy once. They may seem nice, but they all only want one thing," Logan warned seriously.

"Dude, chill. I haven't even gone out with him! Sex is the last thing I'm even thinking about," she laughed. His face burned from the awkwardness of having to talk about this kind of thing with her. But he knew if he didn't do it, nobody would.

"Fine," he accepted, "go upstairs and get ready, you look like a slob," he smiled. She dropped her mouth open with fake offense.

As soon as she was upstairs, Logan checked his phone to see if he had gotten any messages from Veronica. For the millionth time, there was nothing waiting on his phone.

_Friends. We are friends. This could be nice. I always loved having her as a good friend. She has no feelings for me, and let's face it, I don't blame her._

Besides, he was still a little upset over the breakup with Carrie. He had loved her, he still loved her. He would have fought to the grave if she would have given him anything to work with. He had spent many nights in the last week, unable to sleep due to worrying where she might be. At least when she was dating him, he could be assured that he would know immediately if something happened to her. Now she and her friends didn't speak to him, and he had no way of protecting her.

_It's not your job to be protector. She's a grown ass woman…_

He couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was going to happen to her. If she were to end up hurt or worse, he would never forgive himself. He was really all she had left. Gia and the gang were shallow friends who shared no concern for her, other than the fact that she was rich and famous. They didn't really care about whether she was killing herself. He did, though, even though she was gone now. He still cared. A lot.

* * *

 

Veronica arrived on time, but she wasn't sure what to expect. She had never really been a fan of high school girls. But as soon as she stepped into the house, Heather greeted her with a huge smile and handshake. Looking around she decided the house was cleaner than normal.

"We made lasagna," Heather informed her.

"You know the way into this lady's heart," Veronica responded. She caught Heather look smugly at Logan while he gave her a quick wink and small smile back. They were clearly in on a secret Veronica didn't get.

They sat around Logan's dining room table, and Logan dished the food onto each person's plate. She looked up at him as he was serving her, but he kept his eyes off of her which made her irrationally irritated.

_Oh you're good, Echolls._

Knowing how much she loved lasagna, he gave her an extra big slice.

_I guess some things aren't forgotten._

"Thanks," she managed.

Heather began discussing her high school's winter formal that was coming up. Logan didn't seem thrilled, but he eased a bit when Heather explained that she was going with her girlfriends.

"Veronica did you go to any high school dances?" she asked suddenly.

Caught off guard, Veronica looked from Heather's eager face to Logan. She couldn't tell exactly what he was feeling or thinking, but he looked as if he thrown off by the question as well.

_Come on, Logan. Would_ you _like to share the details of some of our lovely dance experiences?_

"A few," Veronica nodded, hoping for no further inspection into the matter.

"Which ones? What were they like? What did you wear?" Questions immediately slipped from Heather's mouth like a waterfall.

"Homecoming freshman year…" Veronica started, avoiding eye contact with Logan, "A few more after that. Small dances. I couldn't tell you what I was wearing," she lied. "Our senior prom was canceled," she added quickly.

"Black was a recurring theme with your ensembles," Logan piped up. Both girls gave him a quizzical look, so he continued, "Black dress for the Total Eclipse of the Heart dance… not that I remember much of that night… black shirt and jeans for Sadie's senior year, and a black prom dress." As he spoke, he looked down as if he were embarrassed.

She couldn't remember what she had worn for Sadie's, she was only there to take pictures. Sure, they had one dance together, but she never assumed it was noteworthy.

"I thought you said your prom was cancelled?" Heather pried.

_This girl asks way too many questions._

"Ahh, but your pal Logan, here, liked to stick it to The Man. He and his buddies threw their own prom."

"Which you and your buddies crashed, if I recall right."

"You said invite anyone," she pointed out shrugging. Heather watched as the two bantered.

"What did Logan wear?" she asked Veronica.

_How long would it take for me to run from this table to the car?_

"I don't remember," she lied again. Of course she remembered alterna-prom. It had been a heavy night for the two of them.

"I don't recall, Heather. Less about us, tell me what you're going to wear?" Logan changed the subject. Veronica gave him a grateful look which he returned.

Heather caught on, and described the dress and all the details. Veronica didn't really listen, but made sure to look like she was. Heather was a sweetheart; she understood why Logan was adamant about keeping their relationship going after everything.

In fact, Veronica liked watching Logan and Heather interact with one another. He became a different person who was decidedly happier while she was there. It was a rare thing to see him be so open with someone. The two played around and argued like siblings. It subtly reminded her of Wallace and herself.

As time passed and the hours drew long into the night, Heather was finally beat.

"It was nice seeing you, Veronica," she said sweetly before giving her a hug. Normally Veronica wasn't a fan of human contact, but she felt herself easily hug the sixteen year old. In the course of a single night, she had become quite a fan of Logan's little friend.

"Likewise, I'll see you around." And she meant it. She intended to see Heather again, if permitted.

Heather bounded up the stairs, leaving Logan and Veronica alone.

"She's really something. I get why you care so much about her."

He agreed silently and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I'm glad you had a good time."

They simultaneously stepped closer together. The nearness of Logan made her feel somewhat uncomfortable so she laughed nervously.

She studied him for a moment. He was wearing a forest green Henley. His skin was tan from the sun, but his face was slightly flushed. She wondered if he was nervous. Suddenly he stepped closer, pulling her into his arms. He held her in a long embrace allowing her to wrap her arms around his waist. She was not quite sure what spurred his actions, but she let him hold her knowing what a hard time recently he had been having recently.

"Veronica," he whispered, "I'm glad you're home."

She didn't respond, so he stepped away from her, keeping his face inches within her. The intensity in his eyes made her heart quicken.

_What is happening?_

She felt dizzy as he began to lean closer.

_This is definitely happening._

Like a timer, his phone began to ring. He reeled back, and checked the screen before answering. She took a few steps back herself, in shock about what almost happened.

_Was he actually going to kiss me?_ she thought. _And was I actually going to_ let _him? You need to be more careful._

"Are you alright? No stay where you are, I'm coming to get you," she heard Logan say to the person on the other line. He looked pale.

When he hung up, he slid his phone into his back pocket. "I have to go, Veronica."

"Is everything okay?" she asked worried. He didn't want to meet her eyes.

"Yeah, but I need you to stay here, in case Heather needs anything. I might need some help, once I'm back."

"Logan, what's going on?" she demanded.

"It's Carrie," was all he said before turning to leave.

* * *

 

Veronica stayed, like Logan had asked, but she was far from being okay. He hadn't left her with any information to work with, so she was left to speculate about what was going on. Was Carrie hurt? Was something seriously wrong or was she causing a scene? What was she going to say when she saw Veronica waiting on Logan's couch? Should she wake Heather? All of these things rushed through her mind, and cycled around and around as Veronica tried to remain patient.

After about an hour, she heard the sound of the front door unlocking. She stood, ready to help Logan in any way possible. As he entered the room, she saw he was carrying an unconscious Carrie.

"What happened? Is she okay?" Veronica asked. She didn't like Carrie, but she was still worried.

"Drugs," was his only response. He headed up the stairs with Carrie in his arms. Although it was an incredibly inappropriate time, Veronica couldn't help but admire his strength.

She followed quietly up the stairs into Logan's bedroom. Watching Logan tuck her into bed made Veronica sad. Secretly she wished she had someone who cared about her like that- under different circumstances of course.

"What can I do?" she finally asked.

He continued to look at Carrie as he answered, "I need to get my doctor here. I need to make sure she will be okay. Can you stay in here in case she wakes up or needs help?"

Veronica nodded so he left the two women in the room. She couldn't help but feel sad for the unconscious girl. How had Carrie let herself get to this place? She had been a frequent party goer in high school, but she always seemed to be level headed.

_Susan,_ Veronica remembered. The death of her best friend was the most probable cause of her downward spiral. Besides that, addiction was a very controlling disease. Once you were in over your head, it was hard to get back up.

"The doctor is on his way," Logan told Veronica as he reentered the room. His voice broke the silence causing her to jump. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Do you want me to stay?" she asked him.

He didn't answer right away. "I'll let you be the decider of that."

Neither moved or said a word. She would stay, of course. They both knew he wanted his friend there.

"I can stick around in case Heather wakes up," she replied softly.

" _Right_. For Heather."

_He sees right through you, Mars._

And he always had.


	12. Chapter 12

The doctor had arrived shortly after being called. He had informed them that Carrie was going to be okay, but she would need to be watched through the night. Any changes, he would need to take her to the hospital. Logan had made it very obvious he wanted to avoid the hospital if possible. Press would be alerted and they would have a heyday. "Newly single Bonnie Deville, overdosed. What will ex, Logan have to say about it?"

Logan had tiredly looked at Veronica, "You can go home if you want to. I'll be alright."

"That seems to be your go to phrase lately, 'I'll be alright.' I'll stick around, in case you need help at any point."

Giving her an apologetic look, he nodded and turned his attention back to Carrie. He sat at the edge of the bed unwilling to move. Veronica felt as if she was interrupting an intimate moment, so she left him with Carrie and headed downstairs.

The couch would do just fine as a bed for the night. She was exhausted from what had transpired that day. She hadn't even been able to talk to Logan about her meeting with Alice. After all of this, she decided she wouldn't bother him with the case unless he asked. He had too much on his plate.

She found a decorative pillow and a fleece blanket in a basket in the living room. It was going to be a long, uncomfortable night, but what were friends for?

* * *

Veronica awoke feeling very stiff and tired. A night on the couch proved to be even less enjoyable than she thought it would be. The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs had been what first roused her, but when she heard her name, she became fully alert that she was no longer in the room alone. Opening one eye, she saw Heather standing above her.

"What are you doing here?" she was asking with a furrowed brow.

Stretching her arms above her head, Veronica yawned before answering, "Uh, something came up last night."

"Sooo why are you here on the couch instead of Logan's room?" Heather inquired with a smirk. Veronica's cheeks reddened, not expecting Heather to assume she meant something came up between her and Logan.

"It's not like that…" Veronica was unsure how much Logan wanted to disclose to Heather, but as the teenager stood above her in her flannel pj's, Veronica knew she had to tell her _something_. "He's upstairs with Carrie," she said carefully. Heather's mouth dropped open and immediately shut. "She called last night… it was a whole thing. Logan can talk to you about it when he wakes up."

She was grateful when Heather didn't inquire further. Instead, she headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

_"Last night was a whole thing?" Yeah, that's an understatement._

She wondered if Logan had slept next to Carrie in his bed. He didn't have any furniture in his room other than his bed, and she could hardly picture him sleeping on the hard ground. Thinking about Logan sleeping next to Carrie made her stomach turn. She didn't want to feel any certain way about him sleeping next to his ex-girlfriend, but she couldn't help but to be slightly upset.

"Want cereal? That's really all I'm good at making." Heather shook the box of cereal and smiled.

"That sounds perfect, I'm starving," Veronica answered. She got up and made her way to the table. Heather poured them both a large bowl of Captain Crunch and sat down across from Veronica. They ate in silence, while Veronica mused over the fact that grown up Logan still ate Captain Crunch.

"Is he okay?" Heather asked in almost a whisper. Her eyes didn't reach Veronica's as she kept her focus on her bowl in front of her.

"Logan? I… don't know," she admitted. There was a deafening silence that lasted for a few minutes. Heather swirled her cereal around with her spoon. It was evident that she was upset, and Veronica wondered if there was more to what she knew than she was letting on.

"Heather," she started, "what is it?"

The girl didn't immediately answer. It seemed as if she were contemplating on what to say.

"I was really happy he finally ended things with Carrie."

Her words were guarded, and confirmed Veronica's suspicion. She definitely was keeping something back. When Veronica didn't respond she looked up and began again, "I was happy because he wasn't himself with her. He always seemed… distant. I don't know if it was because she didn't like me or if it was because he was trying so hard to keep her out of trouble, but he hardly talked to me the past three years." Veronica watched as Heather's eyes darted from Veronica to the entry way, as if she was worried that someone would walk in and hear what she was saying. "I don't know. I'm probably being stupid," she concluded.

"I don't think you're being stupid," Veronica smiled. She gently patted Heather's hand. She had no idea how to comfort the girl, but her words and gesture appeared to ease Heather. Picking up her spoon again, Heather began to shove her cereal in her mouth. Their talk was apparently over, for which Veronica was slightly relieved.

After the two were done with their breakfast, Veronica started washing the dishes that had been left in the sink from the previous day. It was the least she could do to help out. She hated sitting and waiting to be of some use. Heather had gone back upstairs to get ready. She heard someone enter the kitchen while she was in the middle of scrubbing the lasagna pan. Assuming it was Heather she didn't turn around when she said, "Even _I_ didn't get ready that fast in high school."

"I always knew you were lying about how long it took you to get ready." She turned to see Logan's smug smile. "This is a good look you've got going on right now." His eyes were full of mischief as he joked about her appearance. She was wearing the same clothes as the night before, jeans and a nice button up blouse which was wrinkled from sleeping in it. She assumed her makeup was smudged, and her hair was a tangled mess.

"If you're talking about me washing your dishes, this will be the first and last time you'll ever see me like this," she warned teasingly.

"You didn't have to do that," he sighed more seriously.

"It was the least I could do," she countered. "How's Carrie?"

"Still sleeping. She woke up a few hours ago, briefly."

"So she'll be okay?" Veronica asked.

"Define _okay_ ," he smiled sadly.

She didn't push any further. She wanted to ask how long she would be staying, if Logan would take her back, or even how he felt, but she kept all of her questions to herself, knowing he never liked to burden people with his "baggage."

She finished with the last dish, and dried her hands with a kitchen towel. Logan remained where he stood watching her move around his kitchen.

"Oh, I talked to Heather, I didn't tell her much of what was going on, but you're going to need to fill her in," she told him, "As for me, I'm heading home to get cleaned up and get a little more sleep. You going to be okay if I go?"

"Of course, you really didn't need to stay…" His voice betrayed him. It was filled with guilt.

"I know. I wanted too."

_"Wanted" may be the wrong word, but…_

"Well, thank you, Mars. You're always saving the day one way or another."

She hated that he did this. Hiding his feelings behind irony and jokes was one of his many ways he kept a wall between him and everyone. After all of these years, she had hoped that he would let her in, even in the slightest way- that she wouldn't be just like everyone.

"Just call me, Superwoman," she countered with her own sarcasm. After a small hug and goodbye, she headed to her car.

Countering his sarcasm with her own. Who was she kidding? They were one in the same.

* * *

 

As soon as Logan had received the call from Carrie, he knew his night had taken a turn for the worse. She was crying and telling him that she thought she was dying. He didn't know exactly what she meant when she had said that, but he knew she was serious.

She was at Gia's so he was able to get to her within a few minutes. When he arrived, Gia told him that she was going to be fine, she just took too much of something and needed to sleep it off. The nonchalant attitude that Gia had towards his unconscious ex infuriated him. He checked Carrie's vitals and breathing, both of which seemed to be stable. However, he was at a crossroads when determining what to do. There were two options, take her to the hospital where the paparazzi would be sure to find them or call his doctor and have him come to Logan's house. After carefully determining she was not overdosing, he decided on the latter.

As he dragged Carrie out of his car and into his house, he found Veronica was still there, waiting for him to come back like he had asked. Seeing her there, worried for Carrie was overwhelmingly embarrassing. He didn't want her to see this part of his life. She must think he was crazy for ever getting involved in a relationship like this. Ever since she had been home, she had witnessed Carrie at her absolute worst.

What Veronica didn't know was that she hadn't always been this way. She was kind and loving when he had first met her. She had just made her way into the music industry. She was full of hope and life, something that had drawn Logan to her. He was in a bad place when he had met Carrie. He was broken and beaten down, but something about Carrie had brought him back to life. She was the first person since Veronica who had made him feel like everything was going to be okay.

This Carrie wasn't the same person. She was distant, falling apart, and lived only for the next party. Her friends were horrible influences on her, and he spent many days blaming them for where she was today. They couldn't take the full blame; she had chosen the direction she went. Being in the limelight like she was had only hurt things.

The doctor had come and gone. Carrie would be okay, in the medical sense of the word. She needed to sleep off whatever she had put in her body. The doctor had urged him to keep water nearby because she would need to be rehydrated. After Veronica left and went back downstairs, he was left to his thoughts.

First, he was worried about Heather waking up. He wasn't sure exactly how much he wanted to tell her, but he knew he would have to figure something out. She wouldn't overlook the fact that his ex was asleep in his bed.

Second, he was worried about Veronica who had undoubtedly resigned to sleeping on the couch. Heather was in the guest bedroom and his bed was currently preoccupied. He was afraid to leave Carrie's side, so he had to begrudgingly decide that if Veronica wanted to stay, she could, and that she would understand the situation they were in.

Finally, as he looked around the room, he realized he didn't have anywhere to sleep. The ground seemed less than appealing, but he wasn't entirely comfortable with sleeping in the same bed as Carrie. Those were his two options, bed or ground. Sighing, he kicked off his shoes and changed into sweats and a white tee. Standing at the foot of the bed he contemplated what to do. He eventually decided to fall asleep on top of the covers next to her. It was less than ideal, but it beat the floor. Besides, he decided, he would know immediately if she needed any help. He closed his eyes, and sleep overcame him in a matter of minutes.

* * *

 

The movement in his bed jolted Logan awake. Carrie was coming to.

"Lo?" she called for him groggily.

"Shh. It's okay. Here," he grabbed the glass of water, and helped her sit up, "you need to drink this."

She accepted the drink readily before she had to lie back down.

"I'm so sorry…" Her voice was soft, and barely audible.

"Just sleep, Car. You need to sleep," he urged her. He pushed her hair out of her face, and let his hand rest on her cheek for a moment. She closed her eyes. Giving her a quick kiss on her forehead, he returned to watching her breath: in and out, in and out. It was a constant and steady sound that brought him more peace. He knew she was asleep by her heavy and steady breathing. He let out a sigh of relief that he had been holding in for what seemed the entirety of the night. She was alive.

_Please,_ be begged her silently, _please let this be the rude awakening you need. You can't do this anymore._

He willed himself to lie back down and to get more sleep. Listening to her breathing relaxed him, and eventually he was able to sleep again.

* * *

 

As soon as he awoke for the second time, he checked the clock. It was almost eight in the morning. Turning to Carrie, he saw she was still fast asleep, so he quietly slipped away. He passed by the guest bedroom and heard Heather's music playing. She was awake. He wondered if she had been downstairs yet.

_Downstairs… Shit, Veronica._

He had forgotten his friend had stayed. He couldn't imagine there was any way she would still be there. He was wrong, however. As he made his way downstairs, he saw her standing at the sink. He felt a smile spread across his face as he watched.

After a while, he let his presence be known. She hadn't turned around and had assumed he was Heather.

_So Heather_ has _been down here,_ he realized. _I'll have to talk to her._

He and Veronica bantered back and forth until she confirmed his suspicious. Heather knew, to an extent, what had transpired. Veronica didn't stay long after he had come downstairs. She had practically bolted out the door. He didn't blame her; his life was currently a shit show. He had really hoped she would stay a little longer; they hadn't had a lot of alone time together.

It was only a few minutes later when Heather bounded down the stairs. He watched her face drop.

"Where's Veronica?"

"She had to get home," he mumbled back.

"Oh."

He knew she was disappointed. She was still there for another whole day, and had told Logan that she was going to try to get Veronica to go shopping with her if things went well at dinner.

_Trust me, kid. I'm disappointed too._

"Was it because Carrie came over last night and you made Veronica sleep on the couch?" The question was more of a demand than an inquiry. She didn't sound too thrilled with Logan.

"About that. Look, I had to go get Carrie. It wasn't a social call. She was… well, she needed help, and I was the only one who could help out."

"I don't believe you. She's a grownup, Logan. She has to take care of herself. Or her parents can… I know she has friends. Stop trying to be her savior," Heather argued. She was partially right, of course. Carrie really wasn't his problem anymore, but then again, he knew she didn't _really_ have anyone.

_But that's not my fault. I can't sit around the phone and put my life on hold because Carrie may or may not need help._

"It's complicated, Heather. And it's something I hope you never have to understand."

Heather didn't try to counter back, but instead plopped down on the couch frustrated.

"Listen," he tried again more softly, "I'll call Veronica. I have to stay here for Carrie, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun. Maybe she'll take you out or something."

"Fine," Heather said curtly. He sighed, knowing it would take a while for her to be less upset with him. She was worried for him, that's what it came down too, but he needed her to understand that life wasn't black and white. Unfortunately, she had always had that mindset since she was a child. For her, she saw things as cut and dry, it wasn't complicated unless you made them that way. This had often caused frustration between the two of them, because he knew that life didn't work that way. He would gladly choose an easy, happy life with a woman who was simple. A life where all they had to worry about was loving each other, but that was never going to happen. Baggage came with a price.

He called Veronica once he was back upstairs with Carrie. Veronica agreed to take Heather for the day, but he had heard the hesitation in her voice. After Lilly had died, Veronica's girlfriends were pretty much nonexistent in high school. She kept to herself, and stuck to Wallace. He had a feeling that she wasn't entirely sure how to handle shopping and high school girls. That made him even more grateful that she was willing to take Heather.

He didn't go back downstairs at first. He spent a few minutes watching Carrie sleep. She was much more peaceful. Her face had been stripped of makeup, and she looked like herself, her old self. He didn't want to admit it, but he still loved her. You couldn't simply stop loving someone you spent years with, difficult and trying years. He had put so much into her and into their relationship, and he knew that was one reason he couldn't just let her go. He had done that with Veronica, and had regretted it every day since. But as bad as his and Veronica's relationship had gotten, it was never like this. They helped each other grow as the years had gone by. With Carrie, he had grown, and she had fallen behind. He had to carry the weight of them both.

But did he deserve any better than what he had with Carrie? He had always thought Veronica was out of his league. She was a better person than he was. He knew that, Keith knew that, everyone, but what seemed like Veronica, knew that.

Looking at the time, he realized he needed to get ready before Veronica came to pick up Heather. It was weird. Since Veronica had been home, each time they had said goodbye, some way or another, they were always forced to see each other again. He smiled.

_Gotta love Neptune._

* * *

 

Veronica was glad she got to hang out with Heather, but was worried that she wouldn't be much fun. She hadn't hung out with a high school girl in years, and even when she had, it had been Mac. Mac wasn't exactly the girliest of girls. They usually stayed in and watched old movies while eating pizza.

Heather had asked if they could go to the mall. Veronica tried avoiding the mall as much as possible, but agreed because she knew how much Heather had wanted to go. As they drove, they listened to music; she let Heather choose the station. When she had first picked Heather up, the girl was clearly upset about something. After a while, she seemed to perk up a little.

Finally Heather spoke up, "Logan gave me spending money," she smiled.

"Nice! How much?" Veronica tried to sound excited.

"Two hundred," was Heather's casual response.

_Two hundred? Damn Logan and his money. What I would give for two hundred dollars…_

"You're a lucky girl, Heather."

"I don't really care about the money he gives me." Heather sounded slightly worried and she continued, "I'm lucky because I have a brother who cares about me. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't ever met him. With my parents being so messed up, and my sister's an asshole most of the time."

"He has a way of finding people and putting them back together," Veronica agreed. He had done that for her. She had never really told anyone, but before they had started dating she was a broken, insecure girl who had an alcoholic mother on the run and an entire school that hated her. She tried to pretend that none of it had gotten to her, but it had. He was the person that finally made her feel like maybe she wasn't as broken and undesirable as she felt.

"I'm glad you two are talking again. He seems happier. I know a lot went down between you guys. At first I was too young for him to tell me everything, but I sort of pieced it all together after a while."

"I'm glad we're talking again too. Don't ever let him know this, because he has a big enough head as it is, but he's a big reason for why I stayed. I just missed my life I had here."

"I won't tell a soul," Heather smiled. Veronica felt Heather turn to face her. Veronica gave her a quick glance, and she saw Heather looking at her with a funny look.

"Did you know it was me who put the song on the radio for Logan?" she asked.

"Ah, yes, the heartfelt dedication. I had a feeling it wasn't Logan. I never really saw him as a Nick Lachey fan."

"It was my favorite song at the time," Heather admitted with a giggle.

Veronica couldn't help but smile at the memory of seeing Logan right after hearing the radio dedication. The elevator ride was definitely one of the strangest she would ever had. There was Logan, in a robe, looking miserable. Then there was this small little girl wearing her shirt. Ratner was awkwardly standing beside her, knowing full well how incredibly uncomfortable the situation was. He had just spilled the secret of Logan's living situation, and now had physical proof for her as Logan stood there looking unwashed and like a mess. She had to admit, the stubble on his face had almost made her weak in the knees. He pulled it off quite well.

_Oh, Veronica, he's your friend. He's just your friend._

Sure he was.

* * *

 

Carrie had finally woken up around noon. He had been lying in bed next to her reading when it had happened. Frantically she tried jumping out of bed, but she was too weak.

"Carrie! Relax!" Logan grabbed her, and held her until she relaxed.

"Logan? What happened? Where am I?"

"You had a close call," she tried sitting up again, so he helped her prop herself up against the headboard. "You're gonna have to take it slow…"

"I don't remember… I can't…" her voice waivered and he knew she was going to cry. "I'm so sorry, Lo. What happened?"

"You called and told me you were dying. I found you, brought you here and had the doctor check you out. He said you'll be okay."

"Did I… Did _you_ think I was going to die?" she asked through the tears.

_I'm glad she's taking this more seriously than I thought she would._

Her question struck him, however. He had, for a second, thought she was dead, or wouldn't make it through the night.

"It doesn't matter. You're okay."

His answer brought little comfort, and he knew it. He didn't know what to say or do. Carrie leaned against the bed, with her head in her hands. Her shoulders shook as she cried. Not wanting to see her like this, he took her back into his arms and let her cry. She didn't push him away she just buried her face into his chest and cried.

"I need help," she choked.

"What's wrong? Does something hurt?" he asked worried. He pulled her away so he could see her face. She kept her eyes closed.

"No, Lo. I need help," she said again wiping the tears from her face. "This isn't working. I'm so tired, Logan. I'm so tired." She slumped and pressed her forehead against his shoulder.

_Thank God,_ was all he could think as he hugged her. He kissed the top of her head to comfort her.

"Lay back down," he finally demanded, "We'll talk about this more later, but I can't have you getting too worked up. I'll go get water."

She only nodded and slid deeper into the covers, pulling them to her chin.

_She'll get help. She'll get better. She's going to be okay._

* * *

 

Carrie had drifted back to sleep after she drank her glass of water and ate a piece of toast. Logan couldn't have been more relieved. She asked him to call around and find a rehabilitation facility that would be discreet and strict. He gladly complied and began asking around. He had a lot of family and family friends that had to go to rehab, and he knew that he could trust their input.

He was finishing up a call with one of his mom's oldest friends as Veronica and Heather returned.

"Thanks, Bob," he told the man before hanging up.

Heather ran upstairs with her arms full of bags. Clearly she had a good shopping trip. Veronica waited silently in the entryway of the house. Far enough away that she wouldn't be able to hear his conversation he was having on the phone. When he had hung up, she finally approached carefully.

"How's Carrie?" she asked in a hushed whisper.

"Awake. I mean, she _was_ awake, she's resting again."

Veronica nodded. He couldn't read her facial expression.

"That's good," she returned.

"She admitted she needed help," he informed her. His voice began to waver.

All of his anxiety and anger he had been pushing down, came to surface. Unwanted tears sprung to his eyes. Exhausted from everything, he collapsed to his knees. Veronica rushed to his side and brought him into an embrace.

"It's going to be okay," she told him. He felt ridiculous. A grown man brought to tears only to have his ex-girlfriend comfort him like he was a child.

"Damn, I didn't mean to get so emotional," he tried to laugh, but it caught in his throat. She didn't say anything, but instead held him until he pulled away and stood again. She watched him carefully, searching for any sign of weakness.

_Dammit. I don't want to be that broken, abused little boy to her. The one who broke down in the hotel lobby. The one who showed up on her doorstep a bloody mess._

Yet there he was, broken as he always had been. His brave, manly façade was torn off. As emasculating as it was to have her there, he was glad she was. If anyone could make him feel better, she could.

He gave her a weak smile and ran his hands through his hair.

" _God_ ," she said with a lighter tone, "After all of this blows over, I'm taking you out for a beer."

"As long as you're paying," he joked back. She gave him a small laugh which he returned.

_Things may finally get back to normal around here,_ he decided.

He really hoped they would.

* * *

 

Veronica hadn't expected Logan to break down the way he had. It was a rare sight, and she never quite knew what to do in those kinds of situations. She would run and hold him until he pushed her away again.

She had decided to keep the talk of the case to a minimum, but she figured he would be relieved to have something to take his mind off of Carrie.

The previous day she had met with Alice and had finally convinced her to give her information she could work with.

_"Come on, Alice. Confess, it's good for the soul."_

_Alice watched Veronica suspiciously. Knowing she wasn't going to budge, Veronica tried again._

_"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," she continued, "Either way, we have witnesses, both eye and ear, that have you placed in Dick's car. Needless to say, you've become suspect number one."_

_It was, of course, a stretch. The witnesses had yet to come forward. Alice wasn't in any trouble… yet._

_"Witnesses?" Alice asked nervously. Good, Veronica had shaken her._

_"Yes. Reliable witnesses."_

_"Well… Fine. I took the damn car. It was a joke," Alice admitted._

_"Seems like a pretty risky joke, Alice. Why'd you do it?"_

_"He's an ass, lives up to his name. I wanted to teach the guy a lesson."_

_Veronica was beyond irritated with this girl. Logan must have been really drunk to tolerate her vapid persona. Alice reminded her of Madison Sinclair… Just from the wrong side of the tracks._

_"So you stole her car and slept with his best friend. Makes sense."_

_Alice looked down. She appeared to be embarrassed._

_"Logan had nothing to do with Dick…" she looked back up a bit more defiantly, "At least the_ person _Dick," she noted devishly._

_She was trying to get under Veronica's skin, and it was working._

_"So you took the car, then what?" Veronica asked dismissing her innuendo._

_"Rode around in it for a while. I had my fun, then I ditched it at Dog Beach. I didn't ever want to keep the damn thing."_

_"So that same stolen car, just happened to be the one that hit and killed Ailene O'Brien, and you're telling me, you had nothing to do with it?" Veronica asked incredulously. As much as she wanted to nail Alice to the wall, she had a feeling that the blonde had nothing to do with the actual hit and run._

_"I had nothing to do with that, I swear. She was like a sister to me…" Alice realized she had said too much._

_"I've heard! You Fighting Fitzpatricks sure have a way of getting into sticky situations. I'm guessing that they wouldn't be too happy to find out you were involved in the murder of one of your own. I happen to be like this," Veronica crossed her fingers in front of Alice's face, "with Liam. We're practically BFF's. Ask him. I wonder if your cousin knows about your extracurricular activities."_

_She had Alice right where she wanted her. She was spooked. Of course, Veronica couldn't exactly blame her for wanting her dirty secret to be kept from Liam. He wasn't exactly the most understanding of people._

_"Okay, okay. I'll tell you everything I know, just don't talk to him," Alice pleaded._

_"Start talking."_

Alice had told her everything she knew, which wasn't much. She told her to talk to Ailene's parents. There was another tidbit of information that she had shared caught Veronica's attention. She said that she wasn't sure, but she had a feeling Ailene had been hiding something from the Fighting Fitzpatricks and her parents. She walked around like she was on eggshells the last few weeks leading up to her death. Alice apologetically told Veronica she wished she knew what it was, but she honestly couldn't be any help.

Veronica had told her to keep her eyes and ears open. If she heard any new information, she needed to let her know as soon as possible. Alice agreed, and gave a heartfelt apology. Veronica softened towards her for a moment. It wasn't Alice's fault she was born into such a bad home life. Still, picturing Logan in bed with the big chested blonde made Veronica want to puke. For that, she couldn't bring herself to feel any less annoyed with her.

Veronica disclosed everything she had learned to Logan as he sat quietly staring at the wall past Veronica.

"When are you going to talk with her parents?" he asked finally meeting her eyes.

"I'm waiting for a call back. I lied and said I was from their insurance and needed to talk to them about some details before we could move forward with any claims… So I'm guessing soon."

"Are you meeting them face to face?"

"I'm gonna try. It's easier to get real information out of people that way. Plus," she smiled, "I have this sixth sense where I can tell if people are lying to me."

"Gee, I hadn't noticed."

She watched him as he sighed and started fiddling with a pen that had been sitting on the bar.

"I want you to be safe, 'Ronica. I couldn't imagine… I just need you to promise to be safe."

"I always am," she tried to say with confidence. They both knew what a lie that was. He gave her a look to show he disagreed. She couldn't help but return the look with a smirk. "What?" she asked laughing lightly.

"Promise me. Don't be stupid."

"I promise," she said seriously. He stood and walked to her. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, leaving his hand on her cheek.

"Thanks," he mumbled, his eyes a little brighter than they had been lately.

The nearness of him caused her heart to race. His touch made her head spin.

_Pull it together, Mars._

He placed his other hand on the nape of her neck and pulled her closer and she willingly let him. She wasn't sure where this was heading, but she was far too entranced by him to care. All she wanted was for Logan to kiss her. She willed him to.

He smiled and continued to look into her eyes with an intensity that almost scared her. She couldn't breathe.

" _Lo_ -gan!" Heather called from upstairs. Veronica thought Logan would pull away from her, but he didn't. Instead he chuckled and shook his head.

"Our timing is terrible," he breathed. She didn't respond to his insinuation. So he was most certainly planning on kissing her. She knew that now.

_What does that mean for us? Logan, I wanted to quit you._

"Yes Heather?!" he called turning his head towards the staircase.

"I need help! I can't figure out how to plug in the PlayStation!" she called back.

He returned his gaze back to Veronica. "I'll be right back," he whispered. He swiped his thumb across her cheek before letting go. As he walked away, she admired his physique. She couldn't help it, she yearned for him, and the newly donned muscles and tight V-neck he was wearing didn't help the matter.

_Really, Veronica? Did I ever actually think I could quit him?_

No. She had always known he would be tucked away in her heart somewhere.

* * *

 

Logan couldn't believe how close he had come to kissing Veronica. He wouldn't be surprised if she ran straight out the door to never come back. He had agreed to a friendship because he knew she wasn't looking to rekindle old flames. If he continued in the direction he was going, she was going to be scared off. That was the last thing he wanted to happen.

Heather's legs stuck out from behind the entertainment center, which was a rather humorous sight.

"What the hell are you doing?" he laughed.

Her muffled voice came from behind the TV, "I told you, I can't figure out the damn thing!" She reappeared, hair disarray. "It's _not_ funny! This TV is older than me!"

She was probably right. "I'll get a new one for the next time you visit," he promised crossing his heart. "Let me show you how it was done in my days," he pushed her aside and connected the console within a minute.

"I hate you," Heather rolled her eyes, fixing her hair.

"You love me," Logan returned.

"Logan?" he heard a weak voice call.

"You know, I would normally love to have three beautiful women wanting my attention, but this is getting out of hand," he sighed. Heather gave him a knowing smile.

"It's okay, soon enough you'll be rid of me and Carrie, and you can have Veronica all to yourself."

"You brat."

"You love me," she snarked back. Rolling his eyes, he headed to his bedroom where Carrie sat waiting for him with a smile.

"You're awake," he mused. She nodded.

"Thanks to you, babe."

He winced at the word babe. He wasn't her babe anymore.

"Yeah, well… You know me. If I don't save someone's life at least once a week, I feel inadequate."

"Come here." She patted the empty side of the bed.

_Don't do it,_ he warned himself to no avail. Her beautiful smile always put him in a trance. He cautiously sat beside her, feeling very stiff.

"Logan," she purred, "Logan look at me."

He listened. She ran her hands through his hair sending shivers down is body.

_Don't do it,_ he warned again. She placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

_No. Stop! Logan, get out of here!_

Her soft kiss turned into something deeper. She pulled him closer to her, and he willed himself to leave.

"Hey, I…" Veronica's voice rang through the room. He shot back, and jumped off the bed. Veronica's wide eyes scanned the scene. Her face was red, and her mouth hung open. He turned to Carrie whose face was full of confusion, but she didn't seem concerned that Veronica was standing in the doorway.

"I… I have to get going," Veronica stammered backing out of the room. "It's good to see you awake and well, Carrie!" She said far too enthusiastically to be genuine. Logan felt sick. He let her go, knowing she wouldn't want him to follow.

"I may have been too hard on Veronica. It was so sweet that she stayed and helped out," Carrie sounded truthfully surprised.

"Yeah," was all he could come up with.

_What have you done, Logan._

* * *

 

Veronica sped far away from Logan's, trying to keep her emotions at bay. She couldn't be upset with him. He hadn't done anything wrong. Carrie was his girlfriend, ex or otherwise, and he had every right to kiss her.

_But what about what we almost shared?_

She pushed all thoughts away from Logan and Carrie and focused on the case. She needed to get ahold of Ailene's parents one way or another. She looked down at her GPS and found that they lived only a few miles from where she was.

_Alright, O'Briens. Let's get to the bottom of this._

She pulled into their driveway, and found that they lived in a fairly large house for being on the bad side of Neptune. Clearly, they were one of the few upper middle class families of Neptune, California. She turned her car off and sat for a while, contemplating what to say. She didn't want to come off insensitive. Even if they were part of the Fighting Fitzpatricks, they had just lost their teenaged daughter.

She stepped into the cool air, and walked up to the front door. She really hoped someone would be home. After she had knocked on the door, she heard shuffling coming from inside the house. A short red headed woman answered the door.

"Yes?" She asked with the door cracked open only a few inches.

"Mrs. O'Brien?" Veronica asked. The lady didn't move or answer, so Veronica continued, "Mrs. O'Brien, I'm a private investigator looking into your daughter's death. I just had a few questions…"

"You're Keith Mars' girl, aren't you? We heard you were back in town…" she paused and looked Veronica up and down before widening the door, "Come in."

As she stepped into O'Brien's house, a warning signal went off in her brain. This was stupid. She shouldn't be coming into this house alone.

"Sit. Do you want any coffee? I just made a pot…"

"I'm okay," Veronica assured her. She sat on the edge of a floral couch. Mrs. O'Brien followed suit, and sat across from her in an ottoman.

"What are you questions? We need to get this done before my husband comes home. I happen to have a soft spot for your dad which is a very unpopular opinion with us… _Irish_."

"I'll make this quick. Mrs. O'Brien…"

"Call me Aine," she interrupted.

"Okay… Aine, what can you tell me about Ailene. Was there any reason, other than family connection to the Fitzpatricks that would put her in harm's way?"

"Not that I can think of. I thought they said it was an accident… Are you telling me this was intentional?"

Veronica realized that the sheriff's report indicated a hit and run due to an intoxicated driver.

"Let's just say, we both know the law here in Neptune doesn't exactly work hard to uncover the truth."

The older woman looked pale.

"I'm so sorry," Veronica stretched out her hands and took the mother's hands. They were trembling.

"I want to nail the bastard who did this to your daughter, Aine. She deserves justice."

Nodding Aine replied, "Talk to Bryanna, Ailene's best friend. She goes to San Diego State." She stood and walked to a desk that was placed on the opposite side of the room and returned with a small piece of paper. "Here's her number. Ailene hardly told us anything… Being her parents and all."

"Thank you Mrs… Aine, I'll keep you updated. Is there a good way to do that without your husband knowing?"

"He works every day from seven in the morning to one in the afternoon. Stop by at any time during those hours."

Veronica stood, folding the paper and shoving it into her jean pockets.

"Thank you," she said before leaving.

_Ailene, I'll figure this out, I swear._

* * *

 

Logan had firmly told Carrie that he could not be with her. He would always love her and always care about her, but he couldn't stay. She responded unusually well, and told him she understood. Later that evening, she was picked up by Bob, and was transported to the Hope and Life Drug Rehabilitation Facility. He hadn't gone, knowing it would be better for the both of them if he were to cut ties. She needed to be treated independently from everyone in her fucked up world. She needed to be able to grow on her own. He promised her that he was a phone call away if she needed anything, but he had a feeling it was a final goodbye.

Heather had been playing his PlayStation all day. He had a feeling she was avoiding the mess happening around her. Feeling incredibly guilty, he had apologized multiple times throughout the day.

"As long as she's getting help," was all she would say shrugging as if she didn't care. It was a bullshit answer, and he knew it. Her life was a mess at home. Logan's house was supposed to be a refuge when she visited, but he had managed to screw that up for her.

He let her stay secluded in her room for as long as she needed. Meanwhile he paced the floor downstairs, trying to decide whether to contact Veronica. He hadn't heard from her since she had left, and he was beginning to worry.

When he called, and her phone went to voicemail, he decided to try Keith's home. Keith answered immediately, and had somehow convinced Veronica to speak to Logan.

"What do you need?" she asked irritated.

"Nice to talk to you too," he replied.

"Logan, I really don't have time. I have to travel to San Diego tomorrow morning, and I need some sleep. I didn't get much last night if you recall."

He began to feel bad for bothering her, but couldn't hide his worry when he asked, "San Diego? What for?"

"A lead in the case. I need to talk to Ailene's best friend."

"Let me come with you. I drop Heather off in the morning in San Diego anyway."

"I don't…"

"Let me stop you there," he cut her off, "I want to go, V. Don't make me beg, you know what a bad look that is on me."

"Fine," she agreed. He smiled. He loved winning.

"I'll pick you up at eight, Mars. Be ready," he informed her. She agreed and they hung up.

_What am I going to say to her?_

"Logan, I've decided I don't want to be mad at you anymore."

He looked up to see Heather with her arms crossed looking very matter-of-factly.

"Is that right?"

"I know you cared about her… that's why you had to help her last night. I just really thought that you and Veronica…" she let her voice trail off, and tried to fake a smile. "Never mind, just know I'm not mad. I want to go out and eat though- since it's my last night."

"And the truth comes out! You've forgiven me for my trespasses so you can get a paid dinner out of it!" She gave him a genuine smile this time.

" _No_ …" she smiled.

He ran to her and put her in a chokehold playfully. Ruffling her hair, he said, "Go get your shoes. I'm starving."

He waited as she disappeared.

_I love that kid,_ he thought happily. Having her as family was one of the better cards dealt from his chaotic life.

"I want Olive Garden!" she shouted before he could suggest a restaurant. She bounded out the door and ran to his car.

In that moment, life was finally getting back to where it needed to be.

He could get used to this.


	13. Chapter 13

As Logan pulled up to the Mars' house, he felt a sudden wave of anxiety wash over him. If Heather wasn't in the backseat watching his every move, he would have been running his hands through his hair and reciting what he planned on saying to Veronica about the kiss she had seen.

_"I really don't know what to say. I was confused and caught up in being a savior. But I know now what I want. It's you. It's always been you."_

No. That was too much. He needed to explain himself better. He didn't deserve to be listened to, to be trusted. He knew that she understood exactly what almost transpired between the two of them. Logan had wanted to kiss Veronica the second she had come to dinner, and if he was going to be honest much sooner than that.

With Carrie and the mess of his life, he had been confused. He felt like he needed to be there for Carrie, he was all she had. But after everything, he had come to the conclusion that he needed to finally look out for himself. He didn't love her the way that she thought he did. He was worried for he;, she _had_ been part of his life for years. But if he were to be honest with himself, she was never someone he could see himself marrying and starting a family with. She was never Veronica.

When all was said and done, Veronica was the only person he had ever been with to really know him. They knew each other in such an intimate way, he was positive he would never have that with anyone else, but her. Even if Veronica didn't feel that way, he had to let her know. He was done running away from her.

But the kiss made everything problematic. Before she saw the kiss, he wouldn't have felt so unsure about how his confession would end. It was his fault, of course. She was finally opening back up to him, after he had spent so much time convincing her to come back, and then with one stupid kiss, he had pulled the rug from underneath her. He was praying the damage done wasn't irreversible.

"Here she comes," Heather's excited voice came from the back seat. He didn't have to turn around to know that she had her wide, Heather smile.

Veronica opened the passenger's door and got in. She didn't say a word to Logan, but turned to face Heather, "Hey girl."

"Veronica, I'm really glad you're coming with us. It's nice to be able to spend some more time with you before I go home."

"I'm glad I got to see you again too."

Logan stole a quick glance at Veronica. Her face was soft when she talked to Heather, and he knew she was genuinely happy talking to his little sis.

He started the car, and Veronica turned back around and buckled quickly.

"How are you?" Logan asked in a low voice.

"Fine," she replied amiably. He knew her too well and recognized that her voice hid how she was really feeling.

"That's good."

"Heather," Veronica's attention was diverted to his backseat passenger, "When's your winter formal? I want pictures."

Heather and Veronica went on for the entire drive to San Diego discussing like things. By the end, they had exchanged numbers and had promised a near-future shopping trip.

_V must really like Heather to set up a shopping date._

That thought warmed him, and made him feel slightly better about telling Veronica how he felt.

"Bye, Lo. Remember, we're starting our Friday gaming seshes again!" She hopped out of the car and ran around to the driver's window which Logan rolled down. She gave him an awkward hug goodbye and waved at Veronica, "I'll be expecting a text!" she called before heading toward her front door.

They watched as the teenager made it inside.

"Logan, I really like her," Veronica smiled. Her warmth and friendly tone caught him off guard.

"Me too."

As they made their way to SDSU, neither said a word. He tried to come up with words to say, but it didn't feel right to start such a serious conversation in a car ride.

"Do you know where to meet her?" he asked Veronica as they neared the university. College students passed by his car, holding their books and bags. It took him back to when he was at Hearst with Veronica.

"She said meet at a coffee shop a little past the campus… The Living Room I think is the name."

They drove around until they spotted the coffee shop. It buzzed with life as students walked in and out of its doors.

"Want me to stay in the car?" he asked. They hadn't though this through.

"You can come in if you want," she shrugged. Her walls were back up. "Just don't say _anything_. Let me handle this."

They finally found a parking spot and headed inside. He looked around at the many faces, and wondered how Veronica would know which one was the friend…

"There she is," Veronica said to herself. He looked at where Veronica was heading and saw a young girl sipping nervously on her coffee.

"How do you kno…" he started to ask, but she was already too far away to hear him. Following her lead, he headed to the table and sat awkwardly next to Veronica who was already striking up a conversation.

_She's amazing,_ he decided for the millionth time. She never ceased to fascinate him.

* * *

 

If Heather hadn't been riding in the car with them, the trip would have been excruciating. She was extremely aware of her and Logan's close proximity to one another. She wanted to Bond roll out of the moving car several times.

Heather had kept her mind off of everything for the most part. It was easy to talk to her. Veronica was continuously amazed how well she bonded with the sixteen year old.

When she and Logan made their way into the coffeehouse she promptly recognized Bryanna's face from the Facebook search she had done.

"Bryanna?"

The girl looked up, and gave a nervous smile, "Veronica?"

"That would be me. This is Logan, my… assistant," Veronica tried to lie smoothly. She wanted the girl to feel comfortable talking in the presence of another stranger.

"Okay…" she studied Logan as he shuffled anxiously in the seat next to Veronica.

_Logan, I swear to God if you blow this for me…_

"Okay, let's just get right in to it," Veronica stated firmly, but kindly. "What can you tell me about Ailene? I've been told she was keeping a secret, but nobody seems to know what that secret was about. I'm worried that it may have been why she ended up dead."

Bryanna looked from Veronica to Logan several times as if she were contemplating what to say.

"How do I know you don't work for _them_?" she quietly asked.

"Who, Bryanna? The Fitzpatricks?" The girl took a long pause before timidly nodding yes. "I promise, I don't work for them. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this, and I don't care who ends up paying as long as they're the actual murderer."

Her words were carefully considered by the girl, and she finally eased up and said, "She did have a secret. A big one."

_I've heard that before,_ Veronica thought sadly.

"What would that be?" Veronica pushed.

"She was seeing someone she shouldn't have been seeing."

_Aren't they all?_

"Who?"

Logan leaned in closer beside Veronica listening very intently. She wanted to smile at how much he was enjoying this, but was still far too angry with him.

"I wish I could tell you." The girl's words were genuine, and Veronica knew that the girl really didn't have a name for the mystery guy.

"Do you think he was dangerous? Would he have hurt her?"

"I don't think so… The way she talked about him… It was her family and the Fighting Fitz that she was worried about."

"And she never told you who this guy was? Nothing at all?" Veronica found it hard to believe her very own best friend wouldn't have any information at all.

"Like I said, she was scared. But she was in love, so I couldn't convince her to drop the guy…" she stopped for a moment, "Do you really think that's why she died?"

"That's what I would like to know," Veronica answered softer.

_Dead ends everywhere I go._

"Well," Veronica stood while Logan imitated her, "Any other information for me?"

"Yeah. She had two phones. Her parents made her keep her phone they knew about with them once they were home, but the other one… She had it at all times. I bet if you check the police department, it'll be there in the evidence room."

There. Finally she had something to work with.

"Thanks Bryanna, I'll call if anything else comes up." She and Logan began to leave, but Veronica turned to add, "And I'm sorry. I know she was your best friend."

Solemnly the girl smiled and said thank you.

_Trust me,_ Veronica thought unhappily, _I completely understand how you're feeling._

* * *

 

The once bright day had taken a turn for the worse while they were in The Living Room. The skies had opened and had begun dropping buckets of water. That with the wind, Logan knew it wouldn't be safe to drive.

When he told Veronica he thought they should stay, he saw her close her eyes in frustration. She agreed, however, so he found the nicest hotel in San Diego and made a single night reservation. The Fairmont Grand Del Mar was sometimes hard to get a last minute reservation, but he pulled his Echolls' strings and had gotten them a suite.

He pulled up to valet, and helped Veronica out. Neither had planned for an overnight visit, so they walked empty handed into the lobby. He heard a small gasp escape Veronica's lips. It was humbling whenever he was with her. It was easy to take his life for granted- the hotels, spas, money- but whenever she was present, she helped him see how much he had to be thankful for.

"Like it?" he whispered into her ear.

"Like it? When do I get pinched to wake up from this dream?" she asked still in awe.

He was glad she liked what she saw; it would be easier to have this conversation over a nice dinner and end in a beautiful suite.

_Get your mind out of the gutter. She might leave you high and dry, and the suite will be less beautiful and more… inopportune._

"We can order food up to the room… I think we're a little underdressed to go to any of the restaurants here," he told her.

"Plural? As in there's more than one restaurant here?"

He chuckled as she became very giddy. They got their key and made their way to the room.

As soon as they entered, Veronica let out another gasp.

"Logan Echolls, I would have been fine at any old hotel…"

"But 'when in Rome' right?"

She sat on the edge of the bed. Her focus was on the second bed beside her. He wanted to know what she was thinking. Was she relieved that they would be spending the night in separate beds or was she disappointed?

_Logan, who are we kidding? After what she saw yesterday, you'll be lucky not to sleep out on the patio in the rain._

"How about we order food?" he broke into her thoughts. Looking up hazily she nodded in agreement.

_Food before serious talk. She gets testy when she's hungry,_ he thought humorously.

The food was there in what seemed like no time at all. Veronica had ordered a grilled cheese, to Logan's and he had ordered a salad. He was too anxious to be able to eat much.

Quietly they ate without looking at each other. After Veronica was finished she jumped onto her bed and spread out.

"Ahhh, this is _heaven_. I've died and gone to heaven." He watched her and his heart began to swell. This girl was perfect. She was so different from anyone he had ever met. Being away from her had let him move on, but not entirely. In the back of his mind he compared everything to her- which was unfair, but he couldn't help it. He had tried to move on, and he had even loved Carrie, but as soon as Veronica reentered his life, everything he had missed so much about her came flooding back. That fact that he still loved her as much as he did scared him. He shook the idea of love from his thoughts and tried to focus on the more pressing issue.

"Veronica…" She looked like she was making a snow angel, but stopped her movements when she heard him say her name so seriously. She didn't sit up, but stayed stone still.

"Veronica, I need to talk to you," he cleared his throat. Slowly she sat up, looking uncertain of where the conversation was heading.

"What about?" she asked defiantly. They both knew damn well what he was going to discuss.

"What you saw…"

"Logan! Water under the bridge. I'm glad you two are back together. I mean, I was surprised, but I'll support you."

"First," he started, "You are a _terrible_ liar." He made his way to where she sat and placed himself next to her.

"Funny, I thought I was rather good at lying."

"Not to me Veronica. I know you…"

"Logan, it's fine. You don't have to explain yourself to me."

"Let me get this out," he stopped her, "Second. We aren't back together. She kissed me and I kissed her back. I was confused and my emotions were a mess… Hell, _I_ was a mess. But it doesn't matter. I messed up. I shouldn't have kissed her back."

"Logan…" her voice was almost inaudible.

"I cut all ties with her, Veronica. I… I care about her, love her even, but not in the way that you think. She was a big part of my life for a long time. I spent so much time and energy on her, but what I didn't realize was I lost myself in the process. She sucked the life out of me, you know? I couldn't lie to myself or to her anymore…" Looking down he traced the pattern on the bedspread.

"I just don't know what to say, Logan. You're confusing the shit out me."

"I know… I know. I'm done keeping everything to myself. Veronica, you're the only person who's every _really_ known me. I tried to find someone to fit into the Veronica shaped hole in my life, and it hasn't worked…"

"Logan _don't_ ," she warned, her eyes pleading.

_I have to get this out…_ he thought stubbornly. But as he looked into her eyes, he realized she already knew what he was going to say. She wasn't ready to hear it.

"I… I just wanted you to know that Carrie and I were over, for good. She needs to figure her shit out and grow as an individual. I can't be her friend while she's going through that process. She has to do this on her own. I've set her up with incredible people. I know she'll be okay… I just had to say enough was enough," he rambled. He shut up, and rubbed his eyes angrily. This was not how it was supposed to go.

He felt Veronica inch closer to him. She placed her hands on the back of his neck and pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you for explaining everything," she whispered. She let their hug linger a bit longer and she pulled away. "I'm gonna take a shower," she said with little emotion in her voice. Her eyes hid what she was thinking, and Logan had no option but to nod and watch her disappear.

_Stupid, stupid Logan._

* * *

 

Veronica stepped into the scalding shower. What was he thinking? She was glad he had apologized because the kiss had been bothering her all day. She knew Logan like the back of her hand, and she knew that he was being completely honest with everything he said, but she found it hard to just forgive and forget. She wasn't wired that way.

The hotel was perfect, and she wished that the situation would have been more ideal. Normally she would love to spend a night in a beautiful luxury resort with the man she loved.

_Love? Is that what it is?_

Of course it was. No amount of years apart had been able to erase how she felt about him. The dull ache of missing him had eventually become a daily feeling. After a while she forgot that it was even there… Until she came home. It was blaringly obvious now. No, she hadn't ever stopped loving him.

But the timing wasn't right. Clearly Logan wasn't ready to start anything new, no matter how much he wanted it. She wanted to forget the kiss. She wanted to run to him and tell him how much she still loved him, but she couldn't. She had more self-respect than that.

The shower that was supposed to be relaxing turned out to be far from it. Frustration coursed through her veins. This was exactly why she was afraid of coming home.

_But isn't it why you stayed, Veronica?_

Getting nowhere with her thoughts, she quickly washed her hair and body and got out. She had been wearing jeans and a sweater that day, neither of which she could wear to bed. She searched the bathroom.

_I guess the robe will have to do…_

* * *

 

Logan was keenly aware of the fact the Veronica was only feet away in the shower. He needed something to preoccupy him, so he found the remote for the television and flipped through channels. He stopped on the Disney channel when he heard the water turn off.

Within a few minutes Veronica appeared in a fluffy white robe. It was rather short, and barely covered anything. He gulped.

_Oh. My…_

An annoying tween song blasted from the television causing them both to jump. He quickly shut it off and headed to the bathroom, practically slamming the door shut. He splashed cold water onto his face in attempts to clear his racing mind.

He stared into the mirror at his reflection.

_Keep it together, man. It's just Veronica…_

_Just_ Veronica? He snorted and shook his head.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

As soon as Logan left the room, Veronica jumped at the chance to get into bed and pull the covers up… way up. She had seen the way he looked at her in the skimpy robe. She prayed that the butterflied would leave her stomach. This was silly.

Or was it? Clearly there was still an undeniable connection between them. He had been so open earlier…

_No._

She stood firm with her decision of not letting her feelings get in the way of everything. She had a case to solve. That, she decided, was going to be the only thing that consumed her thoughts from here on out.

Her eyes widened as Logan reentered the room in his boxers. He was shirtless.

_What is he thinking? He's going to drive me absolutely mad._

He flicked his wadded clothes onto the table, paying no attention to her. He was unaware that she was intently watching his every move. The muscles in his back and shoulder flexed as he stretched his arms over his head.

_Oh, you dog. You know exactly what you're doing! I'm not playing into your little game, Echolls!_

She turned away from him, and squeezed her eyes shut. Before long she was sound asleep.

* * *

 

Logan knew Veronica was watching him from the moment he entered the room. He wanted desperately to look at her, but his intentions would be discovered far too easily if he were too. So he walked around the room before finally resigning to sitting on the edge of his bed, his back facing her. He began to stretch ever so casually.

When he pulled the covers back to get into bed, he noticed Veronica had turned away from him. He didn't know whether to smile and frown.

He pulled the covers up as he laid down. As the hours ticked by, his eyes didn't get any heavier. He had too much on his mind to be able to sleep. Much of what laid heavy on his mind was snoring in the bed next to him.

Hearing the familiar sound of her breathing comforted him. It was as if he was able to ignore the years spent apart from her just from the familiarity of her breathing.

After she had been asleep for a few hours, she became restless. He sat up worried.

"No!" she shouted shooting up, suddenly. His blood ran cold. He had become accustomed to her occasional nightmare when they dated. He had hoped she had outgrown them by now.

"V, you okay?" he asked quietly. She remained sitting. Her head was tucked to her knees.

"I'll be okay," her voiced quivered.

"You still have nightmares?" he asked in a still, hushed voice. He pulled himself out of his bed and went to her side. He rubbed her back, the way he used to in college.

"Logan, you can go back to sleep, I didn't mean to wake you," she insisted.

"I wasn't sleeping," he admitted. "Lay back down, V."

She listened and laid back down on her side. He moved so that he could still rub her back gently.

"Thank you." He could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Any time."

When her breathing was deep and more steady, he began to slip away.

"Don't… don't go."

Veronica flipped sides to face him. She reached out for his hand, and he gave it to her willingly.

"Not yet. It's nice to have someone… Someone who understands… Just stay," she stammered.

He knew exactly what she meant. He dropped his head onto the pillow that was placed beside hers. He turned her away from him so he could continue to rub her back and shoulders.

She shifted closer to him. His breath caught in his chest.

He began to drift off, and moved his hand to her hair and began playing with it absentmindedly.

"Goodnight, Logan," she said sleepily.

"Night, V. I love…" He stopped and hoped she hadn't caught on to what his tired mind almost allowed him to say. If she had heard, she showed no sign of it.

He soon fell asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window and Veronica's breathing.

* * *

The birds chirping outside of the window and the warm sunlight was what initially woke Veronica up the next morning. She felt Logan's arm draped across from her. He was holding her close and tight which was oddly protective. She made no attempt to move him. Mostly because she wanted to continue lie in bed, but a small part was due to the fact that it was comforting to wake up to him holding her.

_Stop it, Veronica. You can't think like that._

Her nightmare had been unfortunately timed. She was getting less as she aged, but she would have them. This nightmare had been one of the most vivid she had in a long time.

She had dreamt that she was at the scene of a hit and run. She ran to see who it was laying in the pool of blood, but they were wearing a mask. She pulled the mask from the face, and it was her father who was first revealed, but it too was a mask. She pulled it off to uncover Mac, then Wallace. Logan was next, but it was a mask as well. Getting frustrated she pulled the mask off to finally reveal that the person's true face was her very own. She screamed. That's when she had woken up.

The last few years she had spent relatively alone. She had gotten used to coaxing herself back to sleep with music or a light book. All of her life, her father was at her side each time she ever had a nightmare. When she was dating Logan in college, he had always known exactly what she needed to calm down. With Logan there last night, she was reminded what it was like to have someone who cared about you at your side.

_Just care for me or love? He almost said, "I love you." There's no denying it._

She was fully aware of how exhausted he had been last night, so she wondered if he would even remember his slip.

Logan stirred next to her, moaning a bit into her hair.

_Please don't wake up._

She wanted just five more minutes of this serenity before she had to face the real world again.

* * *

 

When Logan opened his eyes, he realized he had fallen asleep in Veronica's bed. Her hair was in his face and was tickling his nose, but he didn't want to move. His arms were wrapped around her tightly and protectively. If he were to move, she would wake up, and he wasn't ready for her to do that just yet.

She was still in the robe, but it was sliding off of her shoulder, leaving a strip of skin visible. He wanted to kiss it, but decided that was against his better judgement.

He could only keep still for a few more minutes. His arm was falling asleep, and he was incredibly uncomfortable. He tried to carefully reposition himself, but she woke up anyway.

Reaching her arms above her head, she yawned and shifted herself onto her back.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty," he managed. He tried to hide the lust in his voice.

"Me? Sleeping Beauty? Hardly. That falls all on you, Echolls. We both know who needs the beauty sleep between the two of us."

He nudged her playfully in the ribs, and he must have tickled her because she let out a giggle and slapped his shoulder.

"Knock it off! You know I'm ticklish there!"

"Sorry," he murmured. He really wasn't sorry, but she grinned at him playfully.

Logan stayed on his side, but propped up on his elbow. He stared down into her face.

"You really are the only person to look this beautiful after waking up," he gushed without thinking. She raised her eyebrows, but didn't protest.

Instead she closed her eyes again, snuggling back into the bed with her arms resting above her head. She looked like an angel.

"A picture would last longer," she snickered.

"But it wouldn't do this moment justice," he responded.

_What has gotten into you, Echolls? A little too brave this morning, huh?_

She let out a breath and sighed.

"Mmmm…" was her reply.

"What does that mean?" he laughed. She gave a small shrug.

His brain finally turned on and he begrudgingly said, "We should probably get going."

"Five more minutes," she groaned. She pulled the covers over her head.

_I can live with that._

"Five minutes. Then you gotta get your ass up, Mars!"

He was glad to see her in a better mood this morning, but he knew that didn't mean that she was going to run back to him. Still, as he got up to get ready, he could imagine a future where their mornings were spent exactly like this.

"Mmmm, maybe ten minutes," she returned.

_Mmmm indeed,_ he thought happily.


	14. Chapter 14

Veronica listened to Logan from underneath the duvet covers as he walked about the room. She didn't want to move from her cozy spot in the bed. She knew that once they left the hotel it would be back to business as usual. The longer she stayed tucked away in the fancy suite, the more time she had to just breathe.

"Okay, sleepy head. You're going to make us late for our check out time," she heard Logan say. She felt the covers move as he crawled onto the bed and nudged her gently. She pushed the blanket down to look into his face.

"If you insist," she stretched her sleepy limbs.

"I do," he smiled. "And you're going to need to get dressed, this robe getup is really doing it for me," he added sarcastically.

"Really?" she asked opening one eye, "This is all it takes? _Man_ , Echolls, you've gotten easy in your old age."

He grabbed a pillow and smacked her lightly with it. "Get up!"

"Fine," she sighed. She sat and watched as he left her to get dressed. Her clothes had been folded neatly on the other bed. Begrudgingly she got ready, and eventually followed him to the lobby. After they turned in the room key, Logan led her outside. The weather was much nicer than the previous night had been.

"It's so beautiful here," Veronica breathed.

"Whenever you're in San Diego let me know, I'll make sure to get you a room here." His words weren't meant to impress her; he genuinely wanted her to be able to come back again on better circumstances. He knew she wouldn't accept the offer, but hoped that she would consider it as one of the many peace offerings coming her way.

Logan's car turned the corner and the valet handed Logan his keys.

"Keep the change," Logan said quietly as he slipped a crisp bill into the valet's hands. She didn't see how much the bill was, but from the awestruck look on the young boy's face, she assumed it was a lot.

"How have you not run out of money yet?" Veronica laughed, "I mean you lived in a hotel for years…"

"Oh, ye of little faith." Veronica cocked an eyebrow to show she was indeed of little faith. "I had a trust fund set up from mom, I received it when I turned twenty one." He admitted with a tinge of sadness touching his voice. She knew his mother was a subject he tried to avoid. Even through their years dating, she was seldom brought up.

They both jumped into his car, and they headed back to Neptune where their messy lives waited for them. The few hours spent in the hotel had given Veronica enough time to relax and reload. As soon as she reached Neptune, she would be ready to get back on the case.

"How _do_ you propose you get that phone out of the evidence room?" Logan asked curiously.

"Oh ye of little faith," she quoted back. He chuckled and shook his head.

The truth was she had no idea how she was going to manage sneaking into the sheriff's department and to steal Ailene's phone. She didn't exactly have connections anymore. Vinnie had been booted out after only one term as sheriff. Apparently people decided his rugged good looks and charm weren't what they were looking for.

_Barf. Just thinking about the guy gives me the creeps. How that asshole won people over is beyond me…_

According to the polls, however, Don Lamb's little brother, Dan, _was_ what the town had been looking for. Keith had spent many of their phone calls discussing the incompetence the new sheriff showed. Apparently he was even worse than his brother, which Veronica found incredibly hard to believe.

"Be honest," Veronica coaxed, "When was the last time you visited our beloved sheriff's department?"

"I haven't the slightest clue _what_ you are insinuating…" he paused to give her a quick glance before finishing, "but two months ago."

"I'm wondering if security has changed since I've been gone. You wouldn't happen to know would you?"

"If by changed you mean they now have a guard dog and lasers… Then no. Nothing has really changed other than the letter between the D and N in the sheriff's name."

"Let's swing by there before you drop me off at home. I want to scope it out, maybe meet the infamous brother of Lamb."

Logan didn't look happy with her request.

_If you even go off about how I need to be careful…_

"You sure that's a good idea? He's a bad man, Veronica. Worse than Lamb ever was."

"I _have_ to get that cell, Logan, it's the only lead I have."

When Logan didn't argue further, she knew she had won. Smugly she noted how it felt like old times. Solving cases with Logan, stealing evidence from a Sheriff Lamb…

"So about last night," his voice was unusually softer and more unsure than normal. "I, uh, I just wanted to clear the air. I'm not looking for us to hook up, V. I just wanted to apologize for everything and let you know what I had decided to do."

Taking all he had said into consideration and thinking back to their conversation the night before, she decided that she needed to just let it go. It was clear he wanted this friendship thing to work out, and he was trying hard to gain her trust. He was allowed to kiss anyone he wanted. They were both newly single adults. She couldn't hold it against him, could she?

Honestly, she was just glad that he was finally letting go of Carrie. She was more upset with the thought of him going back with her than she was about the kiss. He deserved more than Carrie, she really believed that. With everything he had gone through in his life, and all the good he had to offer the world, Logan needed someone that could give him the chance that he always deserved, even if she herself wasn't the one who got to do that.

"I'm just glad that you're sticking to your guns. You deserve better than what Carrie had to offer," she returned.

Knowing she would never understand what Logan saw in Carrie was something she had to come to terms with. Whatever it was, she couldn't deny that he cared deeply for the girl. Veronica would just have to accept that and move on.

"What about being supportive?" he joked referring to what she had said in the hotel.

"Oh _that_? That was the bullshit answer best friends are supposed to have when their idiot friend decides to get back with an ex," she smirked.

"Oh, so how I acted when I found out you were with Piz?" he leered back jokingly.

She let her mouth drop open, surprised he would be so forward, "Logan Echolls you scoundrel! Don't be mean!"

"Sure, he's cute in his the-world-is-full-of-butterflies kind of way," he continued. Veronica smacked Logan's shoulder playfully. "Whoa, let's not hit the man who is driving the vehicle up I-5!"

The rest of the ride back to Neptune was filled with jabs, jokes, and laughter. It was a pleasant change for once.

* * *

 

Logan breathed easier as he and Veronica made their way back to Neptune. She was in a much better mood than the previous day, and they finally seemed to be in a good place. However, he was reluctant to take her to sheriff's department, hating that she couldn't just come home and get a low-risk job.

As he pulled into the parking lot, Veronica was already pulling her seatbelt off anxiously.

"Stay here," she ordered, "If we both go in, we'll draw too much attention."

"Ay-ay, Captain!" he saluted. She rolled her eyes with a wide grin and slammed the door shut.

She was gone for no more than ten minutes before she came back running to his car. She was holding something underneath her shirt.

"Go!" she yelled as she jumped in. He sped off, wondering what exactly she had done.

His question was answered as she pulled out a bag with a phone inside of it.

"Veronica… How…?"

"I have my ways," she replied sneakily. Giving her a sigh he continued to drive towards Keith's house.

"Will I ever get to know how you got into that room?" he asked.

"Probably not."

"Fair enough."

_How ironic. We catch criminals by becoming criminals._

When they stopped in front of the house, Veronica looked at him earnestly, "You coming in?"

"No, I thought I would get home. I have some emails I need to send out to my base, paperwork and boring stuff."

"Sounds like a blast." Through her sarcasm he caught a hint of disappointment.

"Give me a call later, maybe we can meet up for that beer you promised."

She gave him a beautiful smile, the kind that made his heart skip a beat.

_God, I love her,_ he realized once more. Each day he spent with her, he found himself back in the same place he was when they were younger. She had a way of pulling him back in after he thought he was out.

"We'll see." Her eyes were full of mischief, but he knew she would call.

She waved goodbye and disappeared behind the front door, but something told him she was watching him as he drove off, and he resisted the urge to wave.

Things appeared to be getting back to normal… whatever normal meant in this town. For that he was pleased. There was something about Veronica that, even as a friend, she made life just a little bit better. Not only did she make him happy, but she made him want to be a better man, someone who was deserving of a happy and full life.

He knew that their chance of being together had passed, but he was thankful for the time they did have together and he was grateful that he could call the incredible Veronica Mars one of his best friends. No matter how much time had passed, they fell right back into place, as if they hadn't been apart at all. That was a rare quality, and he knew not to take it for granted.

But he would be leaving soon, back to wherever the Navy sent him. He realized it could be at any moment. Whatever time he had left in Neptune needed to be spent wisely. He contemplated whether he would remind Veronica that he would be taking leave soon, but decided against it. With the case, she had too much on her plate. His departure shouldn't be what she was focused on.

He sardonically laughed at his predicament. Whenever he and Veronica were one step forward, something caused them to take two steps back. He wondered when the never ending ride would end.

_When hell freezes over,_ he thought bitterly.

_Then again, stranger things have happened._

* * *

 

Later that night Veronica sat, staring at her phone trying to decide whether she would give Logan a call or not.

"No matter how hard you stare at it, it won't explode," Keith's voice made her jump.

"Dad, I didn't realize you were home."

"Slow day at the office. Where were you last night?" he asked concerned, "I tried to call, but I got voicemail."

Realizing she hadn't been keeping her dad in the loop, she guiltily told him, "I had a lead in the case. I had to go to San Diego to track down a best friend of the girl who died."

"Ailene O'Brien? Veronica, I've done digging into the case as well, I want you to leave it alone. Dick will be fine. A rich boy in Neptune who's been accused of murder? He'll get off." Keith's voice was serious and stern. She felt like she was in high school again.

"Is this about the Fitzpatricks, dad? I know her family is connected. I'm being safe," she contended.

"You can never be safe when that family is involved. They're bad news, Veronica."

"Don't worry about me. I'll keep you updated so you know what's going on," she promised. She knew it was a promise that couldn't fully be kept. The less her dad knew about her cases the better. He was protective, and she respected that, but she was an adult in a profession that required some challenged to her safety.

"I can't force you out of anything, Veronica, but I just need you to be honest with me, and let me know where you are whenever you're on the case."

She felt even worse as her dad made his way to the fridge. He was upset. A life of private investigating was never what he wanted her to pursue.

"I'm going to be in the office tomorrow," she said hoping that would uplift his spirits.

"It'll be nice seeing you around," he replied slightly happier. He returned from the fridge empty handed.

"We could grab lunch?" she asked hopefully. He gave her a genuine smile and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Sounds like a plan."

Since she had been back, she had spent so much time with her friends and the case, she felt as if she hadn't seen her dad at all. Having quality time with him was much needed.

"You gonna be here for dinner?" he asked, "I was thinking lasagna."

"What is with people thinking I only eat lasagna?" she questioned lightheartedly.

"Perhaps it's the pounds upon pounds that you've consumed all of these years," he shrugged.

Logan would be waiting for a phone call, but she couldn't say no to her dad.

"Yeah, I'll be here."

The smile he gave her confirmed that she made the right decision. Logan would understand.

"Invite Logan if you'd like," Keith said over his shoulder.

_How does he do that?_

"I think he had plans," she lied.

"My dear daughter, you used to be so good at lying." Keith shook his head and patted her on the shoulder.

"I'll give him a call… Promise you'll be nice?"

"Me?" he asked in mock offense, "I'm an angel, Veronica."

"Yeah, yeah old man."

She stepped out of the kitchen and into the guest bedroom which had become her temporary home. She had made the decision to start looking for apartments, but hadn't shared that with her dad yet. She wasn't sure how he would take the news. Besides, she didn't have enough money to even pay for an apartment yet. Dick offered to pay her ten grand to solve this case, and if things worked her way, she would be moving into her very own little place soon.

Logan's phone rung twice before he answered, "I knew you couldn't resist my charm, when shall I pick you up, princess?"

Veronica gave a sarcastic huff, "Might want to check your ego, Echolls. As it turns out, I'm going to have to take a rain check on that beer. Dad has dinner planned."

"Understandable, so why the call?"

Biting her lip she hesitated. Was this really a good idea? Keith and Logan weren't known for their successful dinner conversations. "Uh, well, as it turns out the old geezer wants you to join us."

"Keith Mars is finally softening up to me? He's about five years too late..." There was silence for a moment on the other line before he indicated, "I'll be there."

Veronica wasn't sure if she was excited or anxious about this dinner setup, but either way she needed to get ready. Hotel shampoo, no matter how fancy the hotel was, didn't cut it.

"I'll see you at seven," she informed him.

"See you then."

The line clicked. Looking around the empty room, she was hit with the realization that she wasn't the little girl who grew up in this town anymore. Maybe all she had needed was some time apart to be able to grow and mature, and maybe it would work out this time around.

_One can only hope._

* * *

 

The twisting of Logan's nerves due to meeting a girl's dad was something he had long forgotten. Come to think of it, the last time he felt this way was the last time he had been over at Veronica's house in college. Keith had always been the kind of dad that he had secretly wanted. He didn't blame Mr. Mars for wanting the best for Veronica. Reaching Keith's high standards wasn't possible back then, and he wasn't entirely sure if it was even possible now. Even though he and Veronica were just friends, he had the driving desire to please Keith. If anything were to ever happen in the future between the two of them, he wanted some foundational trust laid beforehand.

_Not going to happen, Logan. Give it a rest._

It was Keith who opened the door after Logan had tapped ever so lightly on the door. It had taken him almost five minutes pacing outside before he even had the courage to knock.

"Logan, you look well. Thanks for joining us tonight," he told him with a smile. It all seemed genuine enough, and Logan began to wonder why the sudden change of heart. "Veronica should be close to being ready. I forgot what it was like having her around."

_You and me both, buddy,_ Logan smiled with reticent.

He followed Keith into their dining room area which was connected to the kitchen.

"Go ahead and sit down. I'm gonna grab the drinks. Beer?"

"That works for me," Logan nodded. Having a beer with Keith had never been something he imagined he'd ever have the chance to do.

Keith came back within moments with a cold Miller in his hands and handed it to Logan.

"Thank you," he murmured.

Keith leaned against the closest kitchen counter to the table and stared at Logan. The pregnant silence that ensued was finally broken by Veronica's appearance.

"Logan! I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here yet…" she blushed. He took in what he saw. Her hair was curled and pinned half up. Wisps of hair caressed her face. She had applied makeup, but the natural glow of her skin radiated past it. She wore a simple black dress with a jean jacket. Their eyes connected and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

_Yes, we are right back where we left off._

He had gone with a grey Henley and dark washed jeans. He hoped that he dressed well enough for the occasion.

"You look…" he couldn't find adequate words to describe how beautiful she was and settled with, "amazing."

"Thanks." Her eyes shifted towards Keith who was watching them with amusement.

_I forgot we weren't alone._

"Dinner is ready. Veronica, go ahead and take a seat and I'll serve us," Keith gestured towards the chair across from Logan. She listened and sat down.

"Good, I'm starving."

Logan still couldn't find anything to say. The apprehension of impressing Keith and the presence of Veronica made it nearly impossible to form a cohesive thought. He had been struck silent by her beauty only on a few occasions.

The first was Homecoming night freshman year of high school. Lilly had gone for the seductive, dramatic plunging neckline. Veronica, however, had gone the safe route with her pink dress. Everyone's eyes were on Lilly that night, his included, but Veronica was the one who he had decided looked beautiful beyond words.

There were a few other times after that night that he hadn't known what to think let alone say when he saw her: Alterna Prom, graduation, the first time they… He forced his mind back into reality. He remembered she had once told him to not allude to the fact that he had seen her naked. He assumed the rule still hadn't changed.

They ate while Veronica and her dad bantered back and forth. He had always enjoyed watching the two interact. The love and bond that they shared was completely unexplainable and it was something he couldn't fully understand.

At one point during the dinner Keith had asked Logan questions about the Navy. Logan reluctantly replied to each question he asked, keeping is attention far from Veronica's melancholy face. He knew she would bring it up again when they were alone, and he wasn't looking forward to the conversation. There was no way he could explain why the Navy was so important to him in a way that she would be satisfied with him leaving Neptune for the unknown.

"Well, Mr. Mars that was the best lasagna I have ever had. It beats the one I made for Veronica the other night."

"You can call me Keith," Veronica's dad reminded him politely. "And with the years of practice, I would hope my lasagna would be sufficient."

Veronica rolled her eyes, but they landed back on Logan lingering longer than he expected them to. Keith had gotten up to take their plates to the sink. Logan furrowed his brow questioning her. Beaming she ignored his look and turned her attention back to Keith.

"Dad, let me get that. You've done all the work tonight."

Keith raised his eyebrows and threw his hands up. "She's just showing off for you," he told Logan jokingly. They both laughed, knowing the truth behind what he said.

* * *

 

Veronica turned the sink water low so she could hear what Logan and her dad were talking about. She was enjoying the pleasantness shown between the two. It had taken years, but at least they had finally arrived to the same conclusion Veronica. They were sure to like each other once they let go of their prejudices.

From what she could make out, Keith was asking Logan questions about sports. Logan, in all politeness, was indulging her father with a friendly discussion about football.

_Boys._

Quickly she finished the last of the dishes and snuck into the living room. Football had become a heated topic, and they were loudly agreeing that they hated the same teams.

"Logan, if you would have told me this years ago, _I_ would have arranged a marriage between you and…" they both stopped when they saw a very embarrassed Veronica.

"Come on, dad. We both know I was promised to the Persian Prince," she played along. She watched as Logan looked up to the ceiling, not knowing how to respond to the sudden turn of conversation.

"Logan," she diverted, "I was thinking I would go to your place and check out that evidence you were telling me about." She was hoping he would catch on, and of course, he did.

"Right, the evidence for Dick's case. I almost forgot about that."

She couldn't tell if their charade had really fooled Keith, but she decided she didn't really care.

* * *

They had taken the same car, Logan's car, back to his place. She hadn't explained why she needed to come over, but he had a feeling it was going to be a serious talk from the lack of conversation during the car ride.

He had barely locked the front door when she began, "The Navy…"

_Here it goes. Better now than later._

"Do you know when you leave? Where you're going?"

"No," he said quietly. Searching her face, he realized she didn't know how to take the uncertainty of his future.

"Where do you think… When do you think…?" she didn't finish her questions and her eyes were downcast.

"Soon," he admitted truthfully, "I should know something soon, and after I find out my orders, it's a matter of days until I have to report back to my base. From there I'll have to go wherever they send me."

She pushed her hair behind her ears, taking in the information he had disclosed. Pensively she bit her lip and after she didn't say anything he tried to help her feel better by saying, "It's not for forever, V."

"Doesn't make it easier," she huffed.

_What are you implying, Mars?_ He knew it was a bad time to be feeling happy, but the hope of her sharing how she felt kept him from feeling the desperation of his departure.

"No," he affirmed.

Whatever happiness he felt was dissipated as he looked into her pained face. There was no hiding how she felt about him leaving.

"I guess I was just hoping to spend more alone time with you before the case gets too overwhelming and before you leave."

"I'd like that," he confessed trying to hide the fact that his mind was racing and his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

_How does she do this to me? After all of these years, you'd think it would be easier._

"Can I stay the night?" she asked a bit more sheepishly. "Just as friends," she quickly added.

"Yeah, we can just stay up and talk. Catch up, whatever you want."

She didn't object, and made her way to the back door and stepped outside. He followed her.

"The stars are beautiful out here," she exhaled softly.

"When I first bought this house, I used to come out here and think about how much you would like it," he unabashedly admitted. He momentarily wondered if he had shared too much, but she grinned at what he said.

"Well, Echolls, you'd be right."

She shivered and he realized she had left her jean jacket at home so he ran inside to retrieve a jacket for her. She accepted it and slipped her small frame into his large hoodie. She looked ridiculous, but he memorized her. He wanted to remember this moment when he was hundreds or thousands of miles away.

"What?" she asked nervously.

"Nothing," he responded. He forced himself to look away and into the dark sky.

_Or everything…_ he thought to himself.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And welcome to the beta'd portion of this fic! Thanks to bondopoulos for all her hard work!

"Don't be a jackass!" Veronica joked. She sat curled up on Logan's porch swing. He silently thanked whatever had possessed him to buy the damn swing when he had been at some froufrou home décor boutique.

"A jackass? Me? I think you have the wrong guy," he smiled wickedly.

He had just made fun of her for her bangs that she got after their breakup in college. Secretly he had found them hot, but he wanted to get her all worked up because it was one of the many things he enjoyed doing to her…

_But not my favorite thing to do to her…_ he smiled inwardly. He couldn't help how he was feeling. She was in a short dress with his hoodie over it—both were close to the same length. She had tucked her knees to her chest, pulling his sweatshirt over them and unpinned her hair. Now it curled loosely around her face and down her back. She was making it very hard to concentrate on anything.

"It's getting late," he noted after looking down at his Rolex. Although Veronica had told her dad that they would be discussing the case, they had failed to do so. They had spent the night hours reminiscing about high school and college whilst filling each other in on all they had missed since they had parted ways.

"I _am_ pretty tired… I didn't exactly sleep well last night," she agreed while giving a small yawn.

"Maybe for the first half of the night, but I have a feeling the second half went quite well," he mused, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Don't flatter yourself, Echolls."

_I'll try not to._

She stood, which revealed her legs again. The length of the dress hadn't escaped his notice. It seemed shorter than something she would normally wear. Taking a gulp of fresh air, he followed her back into the house.

"I didn't bring anything to wear to bed," she pouted.

_God, Veronica don't make that face, you're killing me._

"I'll get a T-shirt for you. The guest bedroom has a comfortable bed, but if you'd rather…"

"I'm not sharing another night in bed with you," she warned playfully.

"If you ever let me finish what I say, you'd know I was offering to take the guest bedroom and let you have mine."

"Oh."

_Don't sound too disappointed, Mars._ His pulse quickened with the realization that she had been hoping that he'd offer to share a bed with her.

They walked silently up the stairs, he in front while she trailed behind him humming something.

"So what will it be?" he inquired when they reached the top, "my room or the guestroom?"

"Come on, you know me. When am I ever one to pass up a soft king size bed? I'm kicking you out for the night," she chortled.

"Ah, yes. The princess must have the best accommodations." He gave her a wink and pulled her into his room.

"Okay, so the remote to the TV is on the nightstand… You can take a shower if you need to, you've already figured out how that works… Am I missing anything?"

She looked at him reflectively, "A T-shirt."

"Right." He opened the top drawer of his dresser and rummaged through it until he found a shirt that would be long enough for her to feel comfortable wearing in front of him. In fact, he _knew_ she would feel comfortable in it because it was an old rock band shirt that she used to wear around the Grand when they dated. He had kept it all these years.

"My shirt!" she gasped in shock.

" _Your_ shirt? I think you're mistaken. Lilly gave me this freshman year. It's _my_ shirt, Mars."

"Hand it over, you thief." She held out her hand, waiting. He tossed it into her hands and smiled.

"What the hell. Keep it. It's not like I have much use for it anyway." He turned to walk away, "I'll be in the guestroom trying to impale myself on one of the bedposts..." When she gave him a mildly bemused look he explained, "Because you've now stolen my bed and shirt."

"Always one for the theatrics." She stifled a giggle.

_Theatrics. Oh, yes, we both know how fond I am of actors._

He knew she hadn't meant for her words to rub him the wrong way, but he couldn't help feel slightly irritated that thoughts of his dad were now plaguing his time with Veronica.

She must have picked up on where his mind went because she sighed, "Oh, Logan… I'm sorry I didn't mean—"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he forced a big smile. He walked to her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head before leaving her to get ready for bed.

* * *

 

Veronica tugged on the baggy shirt. She didn't remember it being this revealing while she and Logan had been together.

_You sleaze, Veronica. Walking around with only this? Oh what wonderful thoughts must have been running around in Dick's mind…_

She wasn't ready to go to sleep and wanted to continue talking to Logan. She crept into the dark guest bedroom hoping to find him awake, but his soft snores indicated that she was too late. An ache formed in her heart at the thought of wasting any of the time they had left together. Sleep seemed so arbitrary.

The moonlight from the open window allowed her to see him perfectly. He lay on his back, one arm above his head and the other laid across his blanket covered abdomen. She debated waking him up, but she knew that he had to be exhausted from the lack of sleep he had gotten while on the trip. Last night she had drifted to sleep to him playing with her hair, so she knew he had at least gotten a little sleep. A break in his breathing made her freeze.

"Are you going to stand there all night staring at me?" he asked groggily.

"I came in to see if you were still awake," she tried to clarify without sounding desperate. He yawned and kicked the covers back, revealing his bare chest and boxers.

_Oh my, oh my,_ she blushed. Incredibly inappropriate things were racing through her thoughts.

"Manscaping has treated you well, Echolls," she gushed, shocked at her courage. She reprimanded her sex drive for behaving so poorly.

"You think?" he smiled without opening his eyes, "I kind of miss hairy Logan."

"No," she started a bit too aggressively, "This is _much_ better," she affirmed.

What sounded like a groan escaped from Logan as he pulled his covers back up and over his head.

"Time for you to go back to your room, Miss Mars. You're being far too sexy for me to control myself properly."

_Sexy? I guess I_ am _being a flirt… What the hell is wrong with you, Veronica? And why do you have to enjoy this so damn much?_

"Sorry," she giggled. She tried pulling his covers back down, but he held them firmly in his grip. It turned into a game of tug of war. She sat on the bed pulling, and as soon as she thought she had the upper hand, he yanked the comforter back. The unexpected movement caused her lose her balance and she accidentally jammed her elbow into his stomach.

"Oomf! Watch it, Mars!" he howled playfully as he finally removed the covers from his head. They both began to laugh at absurdity of it all.

_I can't remember the last time I had this much mindless fun._

Once they had caught their breath, they stared at each other in silence. Words weren't needed. They never really had been when it came to her and Logan. He was the sole human that she shared a connection with that was deeper than any explanation.

"I should head to bed," she said quickly. Afraid of where this was leading, where her mind was going, she decided she needed to get away.

* * *

 

When Logan had finally pulled his covers off, he saw Veronica kneeling on his bed biting her thumb absentmindedly. The T-shirt she wore had ridden up, but she seemed oblivious to the fact that she was revealing a pair of lacy black underwear. He swallowed hard and tried to keep his eyes on her face. The way that she was staring at him was not keeping his mind from wandering to a place he had tried so hard to stay away from.

"I should head to bed."

_No. Say something, you idiot._

"Stay." It was more of a demand than a statement. Her response was a quick huff as she folded her arms across her chest.

"You need sleep; you're tired and I woke you…"

He tried again, "We can just talk, about anything… everything. Just stay.". He knew he would have to keep a strict handle on his emotions, but he genuinely wanted to be able to talk with her. There was so much to catch up on, and they didn't have nearly enough time.

She tilted her head, and he knew that he had convinced her. Suddenly, she became aware of her indecent exposure and quickly adjusted the shirt to be tucked underneath her. He tried not to smile, not wanting her to know he had noticed.

"I guess I could stay for a little while."

He waited to see what she would do before he moved. He was surprised when she laid down on her back next to him. She folded her hands on her stomach. Once again the shirt rode up; it was less revealing than before, and she made no attempt to adjust it.

He stared at the ceiling hoping that they would start discussing something extremely unsexy. He was starting to get more turned on than he wanted.

"This shirt was from Lilly?" she questioned out of the blue.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you ever tell me that?" Her voice wasn't accusatory, but instead she just seemed interested in knowing the story. Often, both in high school and freshman year of college, they would lay together and tell stories about Lilly. As much as her death had hurt him, he had come to realize losing Lilly had struck so much deeper within Veronica's soul. He assumed talking about Lilly helped her feel as if they were keeping her memory alive.

"It was a joke. I told her how much I hated people who wore band shirts, so she got it for me as a gag. I never even put it on, which I'm sure she hated. She liked getting people to do things they didn't want to do… It stayed tucked away at the bottom of my shirt drawer until the first time you wore it," he explained.

"Classic Lilly," she laughed gently. He heard her exhale sharply. As much as they enjoyed talking about Lilly, the pain that often followed was sometimes unbearable.

"Did you call your dad? I finally get his approval and then his daughter runs off and stays the night with me…"

"I texted him and told him it was going to be a late night. I'll deal with aftermath later."

_Keith is not going to be happy. He'd be even less thrilled if he knew all the things I'm thinking about…_

"Logan?" He turned his head to look at her. Her eyes were focused on the wall in front of them.

"Yes?" he whispered, hoping she would turn to face him. She didn't.

"I…" she didn't finish her sentence and shot up, practically jumping out of bed and across the room.

"Where you going?" he demanded, feeling caught off guard. Logan sat up and watched as Veronica backed away from the bed.

"I really need to get to bed. I have a long day ahead of me." She hurried out without any further explanation her sudden change in demeanor.

He tore the covers off and ran after her.

"Veronica."

She stopped but kept her back to him.

"Veronica, wait!" Grabbing her hand, he turned her around to face him. He couldn't read the perplexed face she was giving him.

_What is it, dammit?_

"Logan… I… God!" He waited as patiently as he could as she collected her thoughts. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"What wasn't supposed to happen?" he pressed.

Either his shoulder had something fascinating on it, or she was avoiding eye contact.

_What is it?_ he silently pleaded again, squeezing her hand gently.

"This is why I didn't want to come home. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?" The pitch of her voice was getting higher and he could hear the pent up frustration.

" _Complicated_? Veronica, it's _you_ we're talking about! When have you ever done things the easy way?"

"Because no one writes songs about the ones that come easy, huh?" She bitterly threw his drunken words back at him.

_That was senior year of high school! Throw me a bone, why don't you?_

But he couldn't argue with anything he had said that night many years ago. He felt the same way about her, about them, now as he did then.

"Does that kind of world ever work out?" she continued, "I've seen what complicated love gets you. I've watched men get bored only to be found with some hotter younger thing at a trashy hotel. I've seen good men, good _people_ , walked away from because things start to get harder. There's no happy ending in this world, Logan." Tears began to trickle down her cheeks and she angrily swiped them away.

He wasn't going to let her get to him. He wasn't going to apologize for how he felt about her, regardless of what she did with her own feelings. He hadn't been fully aware of how deep her affection toward him was until this very moment. And here she stood, clad only in his T-shirt, standing in the middle of his dimly lit hall, everything on her sleeve for him to see.

She turned away again and tried stomping off, but his grip on her hand was unyielding, and he spun her around. He pulled her in close until his mouth was mere inches away from hers. Even with his head spinning, he kept himself grounded enough to be stern when he said, "Tell me you don't feel the same way, and I'll raise the white flag; we can call our story a tragedy. But if you do love me the way I think you do, together we can write the greatest story ever told."

His words were bolder than he'd expected them to be, but he'd had enough of playing games. They didn't have enough time for them.

"There have to be happy endings; I have to believe in them. _You_ taught me to believe in them," he proclaimed gently. After a moment's pause, he tried again, "Do you love me, Veronica? Because I sure as hell love you."

He cupped her face between his hands and leaned into her until his forehead was pressed against hers. After several excruciating seconds, she looked into his eyes. Her expression was soft, and she wore a smile that he would never forget.

"Of course I love you," she breathed hoarsely.

That was all he needed to know. He sighed in relief, momentarily closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in the perfect moment before pulling her into a kiss. The second his lips had touched hers, he felt the world dissipate around them. The kiss became deeper and more urgent. She pulled him into her arms, opening her mouth, allowing his tongue to swirl around hers. An undeterminable time later, they broke apart for a deep breath, and then he leaned back into her, placing a soft kiss upon her lips as he picked her up. She immediately wrapped her legs around him. Never breaking their kiss, he carried her to his room, where they escaped to a place he had so desperately missed.

* * *

 

The light tapping of rain against the window pane roused Veronica from her deep sleep. It was the best night of sleep that she'd had in years. She quickly buried her face into Logan's bare chest and breathed in his scent.

_Feels like home._ Her heart fluttered with a happiness she had ever known when she was with Logan.

He was still sound asleep, and she was in no hurry to get up. Lying with him, their legs intertwined, was all she wanted to do for the rest of the day. As comfortable as she was, she started to feel chilled from her lack of clothing. Slowly, she slipped away and began rummaging through his drawers to find a pair of sweats. When she opened the third drawer and began digging, she came across a small picture frame. Upon studying it closer, she realized it was a picture of the Fab Four. They all smiled brightly while in one big embrace. Life was so much easier then, but she wouldn't change anything about the life she had now, except, of course, having her best friend alive and growing old with the rest of them.

_Oh, how Lilly would love to see me now,_ Veronica mused. Her best friend would be thoroughly pleased with Veronica, the angel of the group, for embracing womanhood the way she had. _"Veronica, my pet, I have taught you well,"_ she would have gloated.

Veronica slipped the photo back into the bottom of the drawer and pulled out a pair of grey sweats. Slipping them on, she made her way to the crumpled band shirt on the floor and slid it over her head.

"I'm sorry," Logan's voice rang brightly. She tugged the shirt over her naked chest before he continued, "Clothing isn't an option while in my bed."

"I'm freezing," she complained.

"I can fix that," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. She climbed back into bed, blatantly ignoring his rule, and pressed her body against his. He planted a soft kiss on her lips and let his lips linger there for a while before pulling her into a more fervent kiss. As the kiss deepened, she felt him hard against her, and he pulled back, blushing. "Sorry." His voice was husky and she knew he wasn't truly sorry.

"Don't be." Letting her lips press against his firmly, he pulled her on top of him. When they parted, he pushed back her hair to look into her eyes.

"I love you," he told her adamantly.

"I love you too, Logan."

Changing the mood of the room, he smirked, "Round two?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she teased.

* * *

 

"Yee-ah, buddy," Veronica huffed, pulling her hair into a ponytail. Logan gave a breathless laugh and rolled out of bed. Veronica couldn't help but watch him as he confidently moved around the room. There was something that had changed over the past night. He seemed much more like the Logan she remembered—the self-assured, head-held-high kind of guy.

"You're going to be late, dear," he quipped before shutting the bathroom door.

_But damn, it was worth it._

After she heard the water from the shower and the sound of the shower curtain closing, she hopped out of bed and crept into the bathroom which was already steaming from the hot water.

"Not that I wouldn't love a third round, but I don't think your petite body can handle it," his voice came from behind the curtain.

" _Actually_ , I was sneaking in to use your toothbrush," she admitted, "I didn't bring mine."

"Hmm. This conversation is less sexy than I thought it was going to be. Do you use all of your conquests toothbrushes the next morning or am I just special?"

"It's sort of a thing I do, actually," she wisecracked, "don't feel too special."

She heard him chuckle.

"You gonna need to shower?"

"I'm going to say yes. I mean, I know dad's senses aren't what they used to be, but I'm pretty sure he'll know what's going on if I come to work reeking…"

"…of bimbo?" Logan interjected.

_Aw, yes, one of my finer inspirational speeches…_

_S_ he remembered that day clearly. She had marched over to his house to warn him that Beaver knew about the affair he was having with Kendall. She didn't admit to him, however, that she was actually coming over to see his idiotic behavior for herself. She'd been writhing when she'd walked into his torn-up room. Sometimes she thought about the days of Logan's relationship with former Mrs. Casablancas and could hardly believe _that_ Logan was the same person he was today. Then again, maybe he wasn't the same man. Time had allowed him to mature and grow as an individual. Still, thinking about Kendall being with Logan in that way made her shudder.

"Joke all you want, but clearly my words that day made an impact."

"Less of an impact, more of a proud feeling that I could get you so riled," he retorted back as he shut the water off.

"You're an ass." She laughed as he threw back the curtain to reveal himself in all his glory.

"Getting in?" He raised his eyebrows, his lips curled into a devious smile.

"Getting out?"

"Only if you want me to."

She took a moment to decide.

"If you stay in there like that, I won't walk out of there any more clean than I am now."

He sighed and stepped out of the shower. Logan stopped where she stood to give the top of her head a kiss and then grabbed a towel off of a rack.

"Next time," he whispered.

_Can't argue with that._

* * *

 

"Shit!"

Veronica rushed into Mars Investigations an hour later than she had told her dad to expect her. Her absence had been noted, and her father threw her an exasperated look as she sat down at the receptionist's desk. He was in his office with a client, which gave her some time to collect her thoughts and return back to level ground.

Her night with Logan had been unexpected. In the back of her mind she'd always kept the possibility of them continuing where they'd left off, but the reasonable part of her brain had always been the dominant part.

_What are we doing? S_ he let out a breath of frustration. It had been perfect, the entire night, but she knew they were walking on dangerous ground. How many times were they going to try again before they realized that this wouldn't work?

It couldn't work, could it? They'd never been able to stick together when things got rough, always letting their emotions and insecurities get the best of them. But they were adults now. Apart for four years, almost five. Perhaps they were finally ready to make something that would last.

She had been in a hurry to get to her dad's office, so she had left before they were able to discuss how their night together had changed everything.

_What if he really just wanted to be friends? What if he was just caught up in the emotion of it all?_

The thought of losing him again caused a jolt of fear to course through her. She knew what it was like living with Logan and living without him. She wanted to avoid the latter no matter the cost.

She couldn't sit around thinking about Logan; she had work to do, and there was no point in dwelling on the state of their relationship until she could talk to him. Turning on the dusty front desk computer, pulling up Prying Eyez— a database where she could put in phone numbers and retrieve their records. She gave a quick look toward her dad's office before she pulled Ailene's cellphone from her purse. Keith was already upset that she was returning to PI work; he would be even less thrilled to know she had illegally obtained evidence from a murder case.

She breathed easier when the phone turned on and was fully charged. As many times as she pried into people's phones and computers and private things, she would never feel good about it. It came with the job, but knowing that there was a teenaged girl who kept all of her dark, hidden secrets on this phone made Veronica feel terrible.

She scrolled through the names of contacts. Nothing really stood out—they were all girl names. She decided to try to look through Ailene's messages to see if there would be any viable information. Ailene had a few inconsequential conversations with her best friend Bryanna and a few other girls. Veronica checked the phone log next and found that a new name was popping up frequently.

_Victoria… Who are you and why does she only call you?_

A quick search proved to be very interesting. Victoria was actually Victor Ramirez. Another search showed that, other than a few misdemeanors, Victor had a relatively clean background. His name sounded vaguely familiar to Veronica, and she wondered if he was the sibling of anyone she went to school with.

_Maybe I'll give Weevil a call… He's usually good at sniffing out what's going on on the PCHer's side of town._

She printed the information and closed out of the search as her dad ended his meeting.

"Well, Mr. Jacobson, I'll let you know if I hear anything," Keith was saying. The man nodded solemnly before sulking out of the office.

"Ruh-roh, trouble with a cheating wife?" Veronica asked. Keith didn't smile.

"His five year old's missing," he replied soberly.

"God… How terrible…" Keith patted her shoulder, leaving his hand there. Something about his gesture was comforting.

"You ever gonna sleep in your own bed, Veronica? Logan's a big boy, I'm sure he'll be just fine sleeping alone in that big house of his."

"I'll be home tonight," she promised.

"How _are_ things going between you and your gentleman caller?"

"First of all, nobody says 'your gentleman caller' anymore… But we're getting by. It's a little weird being back to a place where I talk to him every day, but it's nice."

She studied her dad, trying to decipher all that he was feeling. His years as sheriff and a PI really strengthened his poker face.

_Like father, like daughter. I've learned a few of his tricks…_

"I know you don't like him…" she began.

"Sweet daughter of mine, I will be the first to admit that I have always been a bit skeptical of Logan Echolls and his… _flaws_ , but I don't want you to think that I don't like the guy." Keith's tone was serious as he continued, "I just think you deserve better than all of this." He raised his hand and motioned to the room around him. "I never wanted you to stay in this town—to become me…" his voice trailed off sadly.

As she listened to her dad, her heart broke. Why couldn't he see that she would be proud to become someone like him?

"Dad, I _chose_ to stay. If there is anyone in this world I want to be like, it's _you_."

Keith didn't reply, he just nodded and returned to his desk. The possibility of disappointing Keith was the worst, but knowing how little he truly thought of himself made her sick. Going from the beloved sheriff to town pariah was a hard transition; she of all people knew how that felt. And losing his wife had been just another kick while he was down. Keith was always so concerned that he didn't provide Veronica with enough while she was growing up, but she had always been loved and cared for. If she had learned anything from Logan's home life, it was having a father who gave you every worldly possession never compared to a good man who gave you the love and care you didn't always deserve.

"We still on for lunch?" she called to her dad.

"Mama Leone's at one," he confirmed.

"Mama Leone's you say? Never heard of it," she jokingly replied.

"You're gonna hate it."

* * *

 

Veronica sipped on her wine as they waited for their food to arrive. She knew Keith would be waiting to hear about the case, but she was still trying to decide exactly which details she was going to share.

Until then, her dad's conversations had stayed in the shallow end.

"You'll need to head to New York in the next couple of days to pack up your apartment," he reminded her just as their plates arrived. She had ordered light—a chicken salad—while Keith had ordered the largest pasta platter on the menu.

"I have the case…" But she knew he was right. She couldn't afford for her landlord in NYC to take all of her stuff solely because she didn't take the time to go back to tie up all of her loose ends. "I'll look into tickets when I get back to the office," she relented.

"What are you going to do about all your stuff? Surely you'll want to keep most of it?"

"I already sold my furniture to other law students. I only have my clothes and some small things here and there. I'll figure something out." She wasn't looking forward to flying all the way back to New York to pick up some clothes and sign off on her lease, but she knew it was necessary.

"You sure you want to move back here? You can still back out and stay in New York, sweetie." She could hear a false sense of hope in his voice as he spoke. They both knew she was coming home for good.

"I know it's the right decision to stay here. Don't worry about me, I'm a grown up now," she smiled, hoping it would ease him.

"Not that I won't love having you here, but I think you're rushing into this."

_Here I go, disappointing him yet again…_

"Dad… I've made up my mind," she said firmly. He dropped the subject and took a big bite of his food.

"How's the case going, anyhow?" Keith asked after a while. She sighed. He was not going to let them have a carefree lunch.

"It's going…" she knew her reply wouldn't suffice and that he would continue to pry, but she had hoped that maybe he would let it go just this once.

"Going…?" Keith probed.

_No such luck._ "I have a lead. I think Ailene was dating a boy named Victor Ramirez. I'm going to talk to Eli and see if he has any idea who this kid is."

"You think he would have hurt her? This boyfriend?"

"I don't know enough about him to say for sure, but I need to talk to him...scope things out a bit."

"And the Fitzpatricks… You haven't contacted any of them?" She knew that wasn't a simple yes or no question. His eyes told her that even if she had, he needed her to lie to him about it.

"Not a word to any of them," she allowed a small fib.

He breathed in deeply, and she knew he felt a little better about her and the case.

"Well, if you talk to this Victor kid, you need to be just as safe. The PCHers aren't exactly Mary Poppins themselves."

" _Please_ , the PCHers wouldn't lay a finger on me; _I_ scare _them_ ," she dismissed sarcastically.

"Just be safe," he warned.

_If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to be safe, I wouldn't even need a job._

"I promise…" She let out a small, sad sigh. "Normally this is where I would say, 'I'll take Backup', but…"

"I miss him too," Keith sympathized with her. "Maybe we should get another dog."

The thought of having a little furry friend running around their house lifted her spirits.

"I think that would be nice."

"We can go look for one tomorrow if you'd like. I know a guy who has some pit pups. Good breeder, and he says the mom and dad are both good natured dogs."

"So in other words, you've had this planned all along?" she laughed. He shrugged with a smile.

"The thought may have occurred every once in awhile."

She rolled her eyes and finished her salad.

As soon as the check arrived, Keith snatched it up before she had the chance to look at it. She knew he didn't always have much, so she felt guilty to let him pay for her lunch, but he insisted that he was allowed to treat his daughter.

"Who's your daddy?" he asked, opening his arms wide.

"I hate when you say that."

She loved it.

* * *

 

When they arrived back at Mars Investigations, a woman in a tight red dress and stilettos was waiting outside. Clearly she was an 09er housewife that was there to get a piece of the settlement pie. Keith ushered her into his office, shutting his door for "privacy" issues. Veronica knew that the case would be discussed in detail between them after the woman left. He liked to run things by her, and Veronica was infamously known for looking into the case files when they landed on the front desk.

The meeting with the woman would probably take a while, so Veronica decided she would use her time getting into contact with Eli Navarro. After she had left Neptune, she lost contact with many people, and Weevil was one of them. According to her dad, Weevil had been able to save enough money from his job at Hearst to buy his own shop. A quick search on the internet yielded his shop's number and address. She quickly jotted the information down and reached for the office phone.

After two rings an unfamiliar voice of a male picked up. "This is Navarro's Auto Shop. What can we do for you?" came the monotone voice of the speaker.

"Is the owner in? I'd like to speak with Eli."

"He's not in today. Can I take a message?"

"Let him know his old pal, Veronica would like to talk to him. When will he be in again?"

"Tomorrow. We'll make sure he gets your message, Veronica."

"Thanks," she replied. The line clicked from the other end, and Veronica made a mental note to tell Weevil to reconsider his receptionist.

_That got me nowhere…_

A ding from her cell indicated that she had received a message.

_You stopping by tonight? I can make dinner. Let me know._ _—_ _L_

They still hadn't talked about what had occurred between them and what it meant for the future. It was a necessary conversation, but the longer she could avoid it, the better. She wasn't sure where it would lead. Besides, she had promised her dad she would stay home tonight, and she knew that if she went over to Logan's she would break that promise so she quickly sent a reply.

_Late night at office. Dad needs me here. Sorry. —V_

Avoidance was one of her strongest personality traits.

* * *

 

Logan knew Veronica was dodging the impending discussion about their relationship. This wasn't the first time—or the tenth—that she had given him the "late office night" excuse to avoid conflict. He knew she needed space. She was always one to work out her thoughts and feeling solitarily before expressing them aloud.

It was a good question though. What _were_ they doing? Only last week had he broken up with Carrie. Could he really jump right back into another relationship so soon?

_But it's Veronica,_ he argued internally. He already knew her like he knew the back of his hand. It was like riding a bike.

_A very sexy bike._

He was now left with an entire night to kill and an incredible need to keep his mind off of Veronica's distance. He looked at his watch and smiled. He knew who to call.


	16. Chapter 16

Logan's attention was focused intensely on his TV screen as he played Call of Duty. He had invited Wallace over for pizza and beers. Wallace was taking a break from the game, and had gotten himself more to eat.

"Let me guess?" Wallace said as he took a rather large bite of pizza. "You're not going to tell me why you invited me here?"

"For the male bonding, Fennell," Logan responded dryly as he continued to focused on COD.

" _Right_. It has nothing to do with our shared companion. The petite blonde one?"

Logan sighed, but continued to play his game when he answered, "I don't think it's my place to share her business."

Wallace looked at Logan suspiciously. There had to be something going on between them if Logan couldn't even give him a straight answer. Wallace had seen Veronica a couple times since she and Logan decided to rekindle their friendship, but with her case and his work load, they hadn't gotten to spend much time together. He had called Mac to see if she had heard anything, but she relented that Veronica hadn't said much about Logan other than the fact that they were friends again.

He was glad Logan and Veronica were back on speaking terms. But no matter how hard the two would try to deny it, Wallace knew what everyone knew: they still loved each other. It seemed the only people who weren't aware of this fact were Logan and Veronica.

_Unless they're keeping it a secret,_ Wallace thought. He smiled at the thought of Veronica and Logan. Now that he and Logan had been getting closer, he couldn't quite blame Veronica for running back. Wallace had watched them together as they dated on and off in high school and freshman year at Hearst, seeing it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. After all was said and done, Wallace couldn't help but like them together.

Did he wish Logan wasn't someone who attracted disasters everywhere he walked? Of course. But Veronica wasn't exactly the safest person he knew either. Aside from that he knew his best friend. She was the happiest whenever she had been with Logan.

"So there _is_ something?" Wallace pried a little bit more, trying to conceal the amusement in his voice.

He watched as Logan paused the game and dropped the remote. "I need a beer," he stated matter-of-factly. Wallace shook his head knowing Logan was definitely not telling him something.

"Be honest, Echolls, you still love her, don't you?" he called after him. He was determined to get to the bottom of whatever his best friend and Logan weren't sharing.

Logan returned, beer in hand.

"What makes you think that?" he asked as he took a long drink.

"Come on, it's you two. I've watched this story play out from day one. I see you!" Wallace gave a small laugh in which Logan returned with a goofy grin.

_He has it bad for her._

"All I ask is that you don't hurt her this time. Can you do that for me?" Wallace continued with a more serious tone. Logan took another long drink, emptying the bottle in almost no time.

"I've never meant to hurt her."

Wallace knew Logan meant what he said. Knowing how difficult Veronica was to deal with at times, had allowed Wallace to have much more sympathy for Logan than he ever let on.

"So you two back together?" Wallace asked changing the subject back to happier things.

"Undetermined." Logan placed the empty bottle on the coffee table and plopped down onto his couch.

"Let me guess, she's pulling her distancing act?"

"I don't think it's intentional," Logan replied. He ran his hands through his hair nervously, "She had to spend time at the office with her dad today. We didn't have much time this morning to discuss —"

"Wait this morning?" Wallace practically jumped out of his seat. He was filled with excitement for his best friend, but also hesitation due to the fact that he had seen her and Logan at this place so many times before. He just hoped that as adults they could finally work through their flaws and stick together.

Logan looked as if he had clearly said too much, and his face reddened.

"She swung by," Logan tried to lie. Wallace nodded his head, but gave him a look showing he saw right through the bullshit.

* * *

 

As Wallace smirked at him, Logan began to worry that inviting Veronica's best friend over for pizza, video games, and beer had been a bad idea. Now Wallace knew too much. If he mentioned anything to Veronica about what he knew, or thought he knew, she would have Logan's head. She hated when people discussed her personal life.

"Dude, I don't know what that look is for. It's not what you think." He tried to act smooth, but Wallace's knowing eyes were making him nervous.

"Y'all did it, didn't you?" Wallace laughed. Logan felt his face flush a deeper red than it already was.

_Dammit, Wallace, leave it alone._

He was saved by the bell, literally, when someone arrived at Logan's front door. He quickly rushed away to answer it unaware of who it could be. He hadn't been expecting anyone.

To his surprise Veronica stood in jeans and a sweater on his front porch. Her hair was tied in a ponytail on the top of her head.

"Veronica? I thought you'd be having a late night at the office?"

"I was… am… but we need to talk," she said seriously. He glanced towards the hallway to see if Wallace was near before stepping outside and closing the door.

"What's up?" He tried to act casual, feeling everything but. Her arms were folded across her chest, and her solemn expression made his heart sink.

_Here she comes: the bearer of bad news. Lay it on me, Mars._

"Look, about last night. We were exhausted. And I know that we get emotional talking about Lilly. What we did… It was a moment of weakness."

"Veronica," he tried cutting in, but she held her hand up.

"Let me finish. I don't want you to feel like you're stuck in a corner. I won't be upset if it was just a onetime thing. I'll forget what happened if that's what you want."

He stared at her in disbelief. How could she think he had only said those things because he was tired?

"I don't want that, Veronica. I meant every word."

She appeared to breathe a sigh of relief when he told her that. The tension in her body vanished and she smiled.

"I do too," she whispered. The soft shyness of Veronica's voice made his head spin. It brought him back to a place years ago when they first decided to start dating.

"So what does this mean?" Logan asked his voice matching the softness of hers.

They stood in the cold night air. Her eyes were piercing and the intensity in them made him shiver.

"I want this… us… I'm all in." Veronica's voice was determined and confident. Another shiver ran down his body, and he stepped in closer and brought her in, cupping her face in his hands.

"Then let's do this," he whispered before pulling her into a warm kiss.

The kiss grew, their hunger for each other evident. He couldn't get enough of her. He needed her desperately. He bit down softly on her lower lip, and she let out a small moan. Knowing that they were quickly heading towards more than kissing, Veronica pushed back slightly, allowing them to take a breath. Logan wasn't ready to be done quite yet. He continued to kiss down her jawline and to her neck. Softly sucking as he left a trail of kisses. He knew exactly the spot on her neck that she—

"Logan," she breathed before he could reach her sweet spot, "I can't stay."

He sighed and let go of her reluctantly, and remembered Wallace was waiting for him inside. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain to Veronica that her best friend was over for beer and games, and was relieved when she didn't ask to come in. But as she turned to leave, she noticed Wallace's car in his driveway.

"Why is Wallace's car…?" She turned to see him trying not to laugh. "Is he inside?!" she whispered loudly, eyes wide.

"Uh… About that," Logan gave a small chuckle. She slapped her hands over her mouth and started to blush.

"I didn't realize I would have to worry about my boyfriend stealing my best friend," she rolled her eyes, but he knew she was happy that he and Wallace were getting closer.

_Boyfriend,_ he realized. _She just called you her boyfriend, you idiot!_

"Is that what I am? Your boyfriend?" he asked raising his eyebrow at her suggestively. She scratched the top of her head awkwardly.

"Who said I was talking about you and Wallace? I mean, Wallace _is_ a Neptune High teacher now. I'm beginning to question his character and alliances," she quipped back. He couldn't help but smile.

"Am I your boyfriend?" he asked again a bit more seriously. He wanted to hear her say it.

She gave another eye roll before answering his question, "Well, aren't you?"

_Ronnie, you brat, answering my question with a question. She'd make an excellent politician._

He gave her a dramatic sigh, "If you'll have me."

She flashed a small smile which made his heart race.

_God, she's beautiful._

"I guess I'll have you," she snarked back as she tucked her hair behind her ear. He watched as she shifted her weight. He knew she was waiting for him to kiss her and send her on her way.

He reached out for her. Giving him her hand, she allowed him to pull her back in. He gave her a small kiss. Though it was small it was full of unspoken words, pent up emotion, and secret dreams that had been built up during the years spent apart. He looked into her eyes and saw that she must have been thinking exactly what he was.

_This is going to work. It_ has _to work._

"I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled before turning again, this time making it to her car.

"I'll text you!" he called before she gave a small wave and got in her car. He watched as she drove away, knowing this time she'd be back. And that was the best feeling in the world.

* * *

 

Wallace waited patiently in Logan's living room knowing full well who had shown up on the doorstep. He knew his best friend too well. The magnetic pull of Logan Echolls was too much for even Veronica Mars.

After a long wait, Logan slowly shuffled back in looking somewhat bashful.

"How's our favorite blonde?" Wallace smirked, "You still want to deny something's going on?"

"She's doing swell now that you mention it," Logan avoided the question. Wallace narrowed his eyes and just nodded.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you guys are talking again." Wallace earnestly meant it, and wanted Logan to know he really did support the two of them.

Logan gave a small, happy sigh and plopped down on the couch. Wallace was happy for the two of them. He just prayed that it would work this time. He had seen the aftermath of Hurricane Logan, and it wasn't pretty. Just this once, he hoped things worked out for the best. Lord knew Veronica needed her happy ending. Plus, if those two could make this work, there was plenty of hope for everyone else.

* * *

 

Veronica hurried home only to be greeted by a tired Keith who was waiting for her on the couch.

"I was beginning to think you were lying to your old man when you said you would be staying home tonight." He gave a weak smile.

"Come on, when have I ever been one to try to pull something like that?" she asked with mock sincerity. Keith rolled his eyes and stood.

"I wanted to stay up and chat, but I'm beat, kiddo. Rain check on the father/daughter pleasantries?"

"Sure thing. Man, it's what? Eleven? I may need to ship you off to an old folks home." Keith's face lit up. She knew that he was worried about her staying home, but with every moment she tried to prove that she was going to be okay. Her humor was one of the many things that seemed to take his mind off of the fact that she was giving up her chance at being a big time lawyer in New York City.

"I hear there's lots of action to be found there. I could find myself a lady friend, Ronnie. Sign me up!"

"Ew!" she gagged as she pushed him towards the hallway. "Go to bed, perv!"

She watched as he shrugged and headed to his room. He called goodnight before shutting his door. As she stood in the hallway, she felt a melancholy she hadn't experienced since she had been home. Sure, she was home for good, and she didn't have to ever feel the dread of saying goodbye to her dad for an extended period of time again, but things weren't the same. She felt very old standing in her aging father's house. She wasn't his little girl anymore. Soon she would be living in her own place.

She had been living on a high since she had been back. Everything had fallen back into place so easily, she hadn't taken the time to realize while everything felt the same, nothing truly was. She was a woman now. Logan was a man. She and her friends were entering the job world.

She looked around at her dad's new house and felt her stomach twist into knots. She missed the small apartment that she had grown quite fond of. She missed the warmth of Backup sleeping in her bed next to her. She was surprised to admit that not matter how much her teen years had been a nightmare, she wouldn't have traded them in for anything. They were what made her the woman she was today. And as she slowly made her way to the empty bedroom she claimed, she wished she was crawling into bed in the familiar room she had done so much growing up in.

_God, Veronica, melodramatic much? Pull it together._

She slipped out of her clothes and replaced them with a loose tee and pajama shorts. Sliding into her bed she closed her eyes and waited until sleep finally washed over her.

* * *

 

The next morning Veronica awoke with a message on her phone from Logan. She couldn't help but to feel the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach.

_V, come over for lunch? I want to help with the case as much as I can._ — _L_

Veronica typed her reply quickly.

_Only been one day and you're already getting needy. I'll be there at eleven. —V_

When she got out of her bed, her step was noticeably bouncier. She wanted to get ready as fast as possible. The thought of Logan, her boyfriend, waiting at his home with lunch was something she didn't think she'd ever get to experience again.

"You seem to be in a good mood," Keith mused as she entered the kitchen.

"I tend to get this way before I nail bastards to a wall," she quipped as she filled a glass with cold water. She took a long sip before continuing, "You going to be at the office all day?"

"No, I'm heading out of town for a couple of days. I have a lead on the missing kid case." He continued to watch her suspiciously. She couldn't blame him. The fact that she and Logan were dating again was a subject she was avoiding. Keith was already so disappointed in the choices she had been making recently. Her change in relationship status wasn't going to help her case.

"What about you? Long day of work ahead of you?" he finally asked.

"I'm going to try swinging by Weevil's shop today. See if he's in. Once I find this Victor kid, everything should fall into place."

The truth was, Veronica wasn't entirely sure if finding Victor would help her solve anything. If Bryanna was right, The Fighting Fitzpatricks were the ones Ailene was afraid of. But as a general rule, Victor should have been the one to end up dead, not one of their own. Too many times she had seen this play out. The Romeos and Juliets of Neptune, California thought they could pull one over on their families. It never ended well.

"Give Eli my regards, he hasn't come around much lately."

"Will do," she smiled and saluted.

"By the time you're out of the shower, I'll be gone. So I'll see you in a couple of days. Be careful and keep me updated," Keith warned.

"Right back at ya, pops."

Veronica left the kitchen and headed to the bathroom. As her dad got older, the more worried she got when he went off on a hunt. This business wasn't rainbows and butterflies. She hated that at any moment, either of them could wind up hurt in a hospital or worse, dead. The Mars family had stared into the face of Death so many times, she was beginning to worry their luck would eventually run out. She shook the worry from her mind. This job came with a price, but both she and her father knew that. It's what they signed up for.

And they both knew they were in too deep to ever get out now.

* * *

 

Logan waited patiently for his girlfriend to arrive. Well, perhaps not patiently, but he tried his hardest. Wallace had left early that morning. Both of them had ended up passed out on the couches. Logan couldn't remember the last time one of his guy friends had stayed the night. It felt a little juvenile, but he'd had too much fun to care. Fun was hard to come by these days.

A quiet knock on the door made his heart skip. He couldn't believe how much he still felt, how passionately he felt for Veronica. It was a rush to think about her, but being able to touch, smell, and see her caused adrenaline to pump through his veins.

"I don't remember ordering a hot blonde?" he snarked when he opened the door. She stuck her lips out and squinted.

"Hey, you don't have to pay me in money, food will suffice. Speaking of which… I was told I could procure some lunch at this address?"

"That's funny, I just got done making lunch for two?"

She bit her lower lip while she gave him a smile. It took everything in him, not to pick her up and take her upstairs to his room right then and there.

* * *

 

They sat at Logan's table eating grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Veronica tried her hardest not to stare at Logan too much. Being around him again, as his girlfriend, changed things. She was allowed to touch him and kiss him without feeling guilty about it. She wanted to spend every second she had with him catching up for all the years they had missed. It wasn't realistic, of course, and she knew they needed to take things slower this time around. Talking and honesty was one of their weaknesses. Passion and sex? Not so much.

"So the case has been going well?" Logan asked.

She shrugged. "There's a couple of contacts I need to get a hold of, but overall yes."

"I know Dick has been grateful for your help. He's mentioned it a couple of times. He really didn't think you would take the case."

Veronica shuddered. She didn't want to have this conversation. She knew what Logan was trying to get at. Everyone seemed so determined for Veronica to like the guy. Mac, Logan… she wouldn't be surprised if Wallace jumped on the Team Dick Train.

"Well, I needed the money," she tried to say as if it were really not a big deal.

"We both know that's not the case," he pried. "You're not exactly Dick's number one fan."

"Is there a club I can join where we sit in a circle and discuss our loathing for Dick… the man not the…" Veronica widened her eyes trying to make an innuendo. She hoped her humor would dissuade Logan from pressing the matter further. She had no such luck.

"So if you hate Dick so much, why take his case?" Logan asked.

"Mac asked me to, and I couldn't say no to my best friend."

"Yeah, she and Dick seem to be… cozy. Have you gotten any information out of her?"

The truth was that Veronica hadn't been a very good friend since she had been home. Her time was preoccupied by Dick's case, and if she wasn't working on that, she was with Logan. She had only spoken to Mac a few times in the past week, and had seen her even less.

"No," she quietly returned.

"Why _do_ you hate Dick so much? It can't just be his douche bag charm and childish innuendos."

_Well, Logan, quite the one for questions, aren't we?_

"No, that about sums it up," Veronica lied.

_Already starting off the relationship with hiding truth from Logan. This should be great, Veronica._

If Veronica was really honest with herself, she knew why Dick was so repulsive to her. Sure, he was exactly what Logan had described, a dick, to say the least. But there was so much more to the story. He had been the one to urge Beaver to rape her while she was unconscious. He had been the one to dose the drink Madison gave her, clearly hoping to have his way with his unconscious girlfriend. She wasn't sure if Logan knew that part of the story. They had tried to avoid talking about her rape as much as possible. While they were in college, Logan knew she still had nightmares about it, but he never asked questions as he would rub her back and help her back to sleep.

It wasn't his fault, however. Veronica knew that he was just letting her have her space. She would get angry and distant whenever he had tried to bring it up. He was only trying to help, but being reminded of that night would also spark the reality that Logan played a big part in her rape too. He had let Duncan take her away. He had been the one to use her as a saltlick for drunk, horny guys. He had been one of her best friends, and until that point she had hoped his jackass act was only for appearances. Yet that night, he let his ex-best friend be taken advantage of. Thinking about it made her sick. The entirety of the situation was fucked.

Over the years, Logan had apologized for any part he played, but as sincere and deep as the apologies were they didn't change the fact that she had been raped by Beaver and had unknowingly had sex with Duncan in one night —both guys had been people Logan was friends with. She had tried hard to forgive Logan, and some days were easier than others. But Dick? Not Dick.

Logan's fingers brushing over her hand bringing her focus back to him.

"I don't believe you," he returned. She was surprised that he was being so pushy. Apparently he was taking being honest and open much more seriously than she was.

"Do we have to talk about this right now?" she pleaded. He sighed and sat back in his chair.

"No, of course not. If you don't want to talk about it, I'm not going to make you."

She knew he meant it which made her decision to tell him easier. He deserved to finally know what happened that night… well, as much as Veronica knew.

"The night of Shelley Pomroy's party…" she began slowly, she looked up into his face to see a pained expression. He knew where this was going. "The dosed drink I got—it was Madison's—Dick had put GHB in it..."

"God, Veronica —"

"Before Duncan found me alone… Dick and Beaver found me. Now the details are a bit fuzzy, but according to Sean and Cassidy, your pal Dick had a few ideas about what should happen to me. He told Cassidy to have sex with me."

When she was able to finally look back at Logan, his face was white as a sheet.

"And as we both know, he did," Veronica finished. Her stomach churned, and she thought she was going to throw up.

"I never knew… Veronica, I…" Logan stammered, his mouth opening and closing, but no words came.

"I know you didn't. Most people don't know about it. Dick denies he ever told Cassidy to do it, but I have to err on the side of caution."

"I can't believe him! And after all these years I've just let him act like such an ass to you!" Logan's eyes burned with anger, and Veronica knew he wanted to punch something.

"Logan! Breathe! It's okay. You didn't know… And I like to believe that Dick was so drunk or high or whatever, that he really doesn't remember doing it." Although shallow and untrue, she hoped her words would calm him, he didn't seem to be listening.

"He's out of my life. I won't be able to even look at him! Does Mac know? You need to tell her—"

"She doesn't know. I haven't told anyone aside from you. I don't know Dick anymore, Logan. Maybe he is a nice guy, and made a mistake at that party. I mean, Mac seems to think he's a good guy, and she is usually a good judge of character. People can go on without knowing what he did that night. I, on the other hand, don't get to live in such ignorance. I've tried getting past it all, but I haven't been very good at it."

"You shouldn't have to 'get over' anything, V. You were the victim. You don't owe anyone anything," he said sternly. His eyes had gone from hot to worried. She watched as he searched her face. She refused to let her solid composure crack under his inspection, but Logan's words hit her to the core. It wasn't her fault.

"It's water under the bridge," she tried to reassure him, but her voice sounded squeaky, and she knew he saw right through her. He closed his eyes.

"I feel like I'm responsible for everything that happened to you," he groaned painfully.

"No!" she shot up in her seat and grabbed his hands. She wasn't going to let him take on her burden. "You couldn't have known Logan. Just let it be in the past."

He didn't respond, but instead rubbed his thumb across her knuckles.

Finally he found his voice, "I can't believe you're helping him. I would never be as strong as you are."

"I'm helping Mac," she reminded him softly.

But part of her knew she was helping Dick. As much as she hated to admit it, she couldn't hate him. He was an idiot. He was repulsive, yet somehow she couldn't bring herself to believe that he was a bad person. Besides, she didn't know adult Dick as well as high school Dick. And even in high school she had made it a point to avoid him as much as possible. If she had learned anything from living in Neptune it was that everyone had their skeletons. Even the dimwitted and elite.

* * *

 

Logan and Veronica pulled up to Navarro's Auto Shop around one. Veronica was impressed. It wasn't a rundown piece of junk, but it sat on the corner of Fifth Street and College Way which was only a couple blocks from Hearst. She hadn't been entirely sure what to expect when she had heard that Eli owned his own shop, and she was happy that her old friend seemed to be doing well.

"Looks like our pal, Weevil has moved up in the world," Logan mused aloud.

Veronica only nodded in reply. She had already told Logan to stay in the car as she tried to talk to Weevil about Victor.

A small bell tinkered as she opened the shop's door.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked from behind a tall desk. Veronica recognized the voice as the man she had spoken with on the phone. Without meaning to, she sized him up. He was young, probably sixteen. He held a familiar expression of angst and annoyance that she remembered Weevil often giving as a teen. Come to think of it, the young man looked very much like Weevil.

"Uh, yeah, I'm—"

"Veronica Mars." Veronica spun around to see Eli Navarro's smirking face. "It's been a while," he smiled. Veronica rushed to her old friend and hugged him.

"You seem to be doing well," she said once they parted. She motioned at the room around her.

"Business has been good, yes. I'm glad you can finally see it. But if I know you, you need something. What is it this time, V?"

Veronica felt a blush creeping on her neck. She felt bad that almost every encounter with her friends involved her needing something in return.

"I need to run a name by you. See if it sounds familiar."

"I've been outta the game a long time… But I'll see what I can do."

He ushered her to a smaller room behind the counter. It had a cluttered desk, and she realized this was his personal office. He shut the door and gave a look indicating he was ready to hear what she had to ask.

"I'm looking to get in touch with a kid named Victor Ramirez."

Eli's face lit up, and she knew he was going to be able to help her.

"Yeah, Victor… He goes to school with my brother, Alex. One of the PCHers. What do you need him for?"

"I need to talk to him face-to-face. I think he has some information on a hit and run case," she explained. Eli pursed his lips and shook his head.

"You're helping Dick Casablancas out?" he asked disappointed

"Yes," was her simple reply. She didn't have time to get into it with Weevil.

"Figures. You always had a soft spot for those rich boys," he scoffed. His hostility took her by surprise. It was as if no time had passed at all since the last time she had seen him.

"I had a soft spot for boys in motorcycle gangs too, if you recall," she tried to playfully remind him. He eased a bit before answering.

"I'll talk to Alex and schedule a meeting time for you and Victor. Did you just need him or do you want me to round up the whole gang for old time's sake?"

Veronica contemplated the offer, "No, I just need Victor for now."

"Your wish is my command."

He opened the door and led her back into the foyer of the shop.

"Alex," Eli called to the boy behind the receptionist's desk. "You remember Veronica, right?"

"Yeah," he replied with little emotion.

_No wonder he looks like Weevil… Damn, his brother is a spitting image of the young biker Eli used to be._

"Veronica here needs to talk to Victor. Think you can arrange that for me? You know I can't get involved with the gang anymore."

"I'll set something up and get back to you." Alex nodded his head once.

_Stepping into his older brother's shoes. I wonder how Eli feels about his baby bro's extracurricular activities?_

Weevil turned his attention back to Veronica, "It was nice seeing you, V. I'll give you a call once it's all set up."

"Thanks, Weev… Eli. I owe you big time."

He rolled his eyes and gave her a genuine smile, "Yeah, yeah, I'll add it to your long list of IOU's."

She gave him another quick hug and headed out.

_Someday I'll repay everyone for all they've done… somehow._

* * *

 

Since Keith was out of town, Logan had urged Veronica to stay with him. On the second day of Keith's leave, Veronica received a phone call informing her he would be gone for at least another three days. It would give her enough time to look around for apartments. Logan had suggested she stay with him; it would be free and he had an extra room, but she was wary to jump into things too quickly.

She knew she should tell her dad she was planning on getting her own place, but she felt guilty. He was so happy to have her home again, and just like that she was off getting her own place.

"What about this one?" Logan asked as he pointed at his laptop's screen. He was helping her scout out affordable apartments in the semi-decent area of Neptune.

"It seems a bit pricey for the amount of room and amenities," she sighed. Finding a good apartment for a reasonable price seemed nearly impossible in this town.

"There's a free room next door, and I assure that you'll receive the best amenities a girl could ask for," he smirked as he kissed her nose.

"Logan, I just don't think we should—"

"Rush into things. I know, you've mentioned that."

She could hear the hint of hurt in his voice. She knew it bothered him that she wouldn't let him help her.

"These 'amenities' you speak of? What exactly do they entail?" she asked hoping to lighten the mood.

He softly pulled her on top of him, leaning up to kiss her. "Let me show you," he murmured into her neck, kissing her.

She felt a warmth spread across her body as he continued to make his way down her neck and to her collar bone. He shifted their position so she was underneath him. She expected him to continue his trail of kisses, but instead she found herself lost in his stare.

"What?" she asked slightly self-consciously.

"I love you," he answered before kissing her forehead.

"I love you too," she whispered into his chest. He held her for a moment before pulling her into a deep kiss.

* * *

 

Logan's tongue found its way into Veronica's mouth. He moved his hands underneath her shirt, feeling her warm, soft skin as he ran his hands up her stomach. She groaned into his mouth.

It seemed like forever ago when they would spend weekends locked away in his suite at The Grand. They had been so wild and free. But here in this moment, she made him feel alive again, like she had all those years ago.

Every kiss and touch sent his mind reeling with excitement. Her breath caught as he found her sweet spots that he knew so well, each gasp from Veronica turning him on more than the previous.

He pulled away from her, tore off his shirt, and watched as her lips curled into a devilish smile.

"Like what you see?" he almost laughed. She didn't say a word, only nodded in approval.

Veronica sat up and brushed her lips across his shoulder.

_God, I'm going to miss this when I'm away._

He had promised himself that he wouldn't waste any of his time with Veronica knowing that any day he would receive his orders.

Logan lifted her shirt up and off, and then eased her back down. Trailing his lips down her neck and chest to her stomach.

"I don't think you'll find any place as accommodating as my place will be," he whispered.

"You don't say…" she breathed as he continued to kiss his way down her body.

A quick glance revealed Veronica, flushed with arousal. Yes, he would savor every second of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay guys, so here's the thing with Duncan and Veronica on the night of Shelley's party. I had to write this from Veronica's POV. Now in canon she never really seemed to admit or believe what Duncan had done was rape. So whether or not I personally view it as such, I had to write that part from what Veronica would think. I'm not here to start debates or fights over it, I just needed to write something that made sense within the context of canon and Veronica. This was also why it was so hard to write about Dick as well. I had to put my own personal preferences for characters and how I feel about them aside to be able to write from what Veronica would think.


	17. Chapter 17

Veronica scoured the beach as she waited for Victor to show up. Not quite sure what to expect from the PCHer, she wished in that moment that she had Backup with her.. She was, however, comforted by the fact that Weevil was waiting in her car a few feet away; he had insisted he come with her.

"You Veronica?" She turned to see the eighteen-year-old Victor.

"You Victoria…? Oh, I'm sorry, I mean Victor. Sometimes it's hard to keep names straight when you have so many… Is your gang name 'Traitor'? Or do your comrades not know about your secret love affair with a Fitzpatrick?"

Veronica had learned from years of dealing with gang members that you had to maintain the upperhand at all times. Dropping bombs usually ended better than trying to play nice.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Victor gave her a wide smile as he slapped his hands against his legs.

" _Yeah_ , I'm not not so sure about that. I know you were talking to Ailene." Victor opened his mouth to say something but she didn't give him time. "Don't deny it. I've looked into her phone bill."

"I don't know who this Ailene bitch is, but I'd watch myself if I were you. I don't like what you're implyin'."

He looked past her and nodded. When Veronica snapped around to see who he was looking at, she realized another biker was headed toward them.

_Well, this should be fun._

"I didn't realize I was so scary. Wanna tell your bodyguard that we're in the middle of something?" Veronica rolled her eyes at Victor.

"No, I think he'd like to hear what you have to say. He's a sucker for blondes," Victor retorted. "Isn't that right, Adrian?"

The second biker, Adrian, smiled as he passed Veronica.

"Especially the feisty ones," Adrian agreed in a loud throaty whisper.

_Why must they always insist on pissing me off?_

"Well, boys... not that I don't love the attention from criminals, but I do have some questions for you." Veronica watched as they looked at each other.

"You can ask, doesn't mean we'll answer," Adrian said. He was clearly the leader between the two.

"First question goes to you, big boy," she nodded toward Adrian, "Who exactly are you?"

"What? You haven't heard of me?" He gave her a sarcastic look of sadness, "I run the PCHers. Who are you?"

"What? You haven't heard of me?" She echoed back with a hint of venom in her voice.

"Now that I think about it, I have. Veronica Mars. You've made quite a name for yourself. I was a freshman your senior year. I'm not surprised you don't remember me though. I didn't have a trust fund to keep your interest."

Veronica wasn't interested in what the new leader of the PCHers thought about her, and she was getting frustrated that this wasn't getting anywhere.

"I would love to stay and chat about the past, but I really do have things to do. Victor," she turned her attention back to the younger boy, "You were the last person to talk with Ailene before she died. I know all of those months of dialing her number couldn't have been accidental. Why don't you save us all a lot of time and tell me the truth."

"Like I said, I don't know what you're talking about," he persisted, but he seemed more nervous under Adrian's scrutinous look.

"See, you say that, but I don't believe you. I _will_ look into this further, and I _will_ find out the truth one way or another."

She watched as Victor gave her a shrug and placed his helmet on his head.

"Guess we'll see," he said before hopping on his bike and starting the engine. Adrian gave her smirk and looked her up and down. Veronica had to keep herself from shuddering.

"See you around, blondie." He smiled before she turned around and headed back to the car.

When she slammed the door shut, she placed her head on the steering wheel, frustrated. Clearly the PCHers weren't going to be any help.

_Were they ever any help?_

"No luck?" Eli asked.

"No, your boy Adrian decided to interrupt our conversation."

"One, he's not 'my boy', and two, that figures. I heard he was running the show now. He's Victor's cousin, you know."

Veronica gave Eli a sideways glance. "No I did not know that. Would have been good to know that Victor is related to the leader of the PCHers. Thanks for the heads up."

Eli didn't say anything back. She knew what he was thinking. He didn't owe her anything. The fact that he was even willing to get himself involved in the case at all was more than she could ever ask for.

"So what now?" he asked curiously.

"Now, we smoke them out."

* * *

 

Veronica finally scheduled a flight to New York so she could tie up all her loose ends. She was leaving Wednesday in the morning, which gave her two days to come up with a game plan for getting what she needed from The PCHers. She wasn't exactly sure how she would get information out of Victor, but as long as he refused to admit he was dating Ailene, he was a suspect.

Adrian was high on the list of people she wanted to crack as well. Something about the way Victor had been eying him was off. Something was going on there.

Her focus on the case was interrupted when Logan walked into his room. It was almost nine in the morning and he had gone for a morning run. He gave her a smirk as he pulled off his cut off shirt.

"You're still in bed? I feel as you've aged, you've gotten lazier, Mars."

"When did Logan Echolls start complaining about having a hot blonde waiting for him in his bed?" Veronica asked with raised eyebrows.

"I always do like to start my morning off with a hot blonde," he mused. He jumped onto the bed and wrapped her in his arms.

"Ew! Logan, go take a shower; you're all sweaty!" she laughed as he held tighter.

"Only if you join me," he whispered in her ear. His hot breath sent shivers down her body. He must have sensed how close he was to persuading her because he began to kiss her jawline, working his way to her neck. Her body began to tingle as a warmth grew across her skin. Normally she would have pushed him away and sent him to the shower to clean up, but with his departure date looming in the air, she needed to savor every moment she had.

"But I don't need a shower," she pouted back playfully.

"When I'm done with you," he said with his lips against her neck, "you'll need one." He swept his hand across her stomach, making her head spin. Even after all these years, every touch from him was as electrifying the first. She couldn't ever figure out how he was able have that effect on her, but she wasn't complaining.

"Is that a challenge?" Veronica's voice was much huskier than she had hoped it would be and betrayed just how turned on she was.

"No," he smiled, pressing a rough kiss on her mouth. "That was a promise."

Veronica pulled him as close to her as she could get him, trying to ignore the sad tugging she felt in her core. She hated not knowing how much time they had left together. She knew it had been weighing on Logan's mind, but he had kept a smile on his face and avoided talking about it.

She felt Logan pull away which caused a groan of disapproval to escape from her lips.

"I need to shower, Veronica," he reminded her. His sudden change of demeanor confused her. He stood and walked away without even a hint of a smile.

_Okay, Echolls. What's going on? Your hot and bothered girlfriend is practically throwing herself at you…_

Veronica sat up and threw the covers off of her and stared at the closed bathroom door. She made the decision to get up and join Logan in the bathroom.

As she creaked the door open, she saw a naked Logan turn and face her.

"Veronica, what are you doing?" he asked with little emotion behind the words.

"I thought I would take you up on that offer of joining you," she wiggled her eyebrows. When he didn't respond she sighed, "Logan, what's going on?"

"Nothing," was his curt reply. His lips stayed in a thin line as he turned and opened the shower curtain.

"Logan," she tried again as she entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her, "What's going on?" She reached for his arm and turned him to face her.

"I…" he huffed a frustrated breath before continuing, "I don't want to get too attached again," he admitted. His words punched her in the gut.

"What do you mean?" she asked although she knew the answer. He was afraid she would run away again.

"When I leave. I leave for a long time, Veronica. I don't expect you to sit around and wait for me."

"Logan… I want to—"

"No, listen, Veronica. I don't want to be what holds you back from living your life. If you don't want to wait, I understand."

She could feel anger rising in her chest. How could he think so little of her?

_Oh, I don't know, maybe because you ran away for several years without him ever hearing a peep from you? What do you expect, Mars?_

"Logan…" She tried to come up with something to say, but she really didn't know what could make things better. She wanted to tell him a few months was nothing compared to what they had endured before. She wanted to tell him not to worry. She wanted to tell him she would wait forever for him, but she couldn't bring herself to say any of those things because she wasn't entirely sure. She didn't want to admit that she had major doubts about him leaving, but they were there. Could they make long distance work? When had they ever been able to make things work when life got rough?

"I'm going to leave you to your thoughts, Veronica," he sighed before stepping into the shower. She waited a couple of seconds before giving up on any attempt to salvage the conversation and headed back to the large empty bed.

* * *

 

Logan wished he would have just kept his smiling facade on long enough to make it to the shower without Veronica knowing anything was wrong. The shower was always a place he could let himself feel everything that he kept inside without Veronica's all-seeing eyes watching him. The truth was that he had been worried about leaving for the last few days. The more he thought about his departure, the more scared he became.

He and Veronica had been through hell and back a few times, and each time there had never been a happy ending. What was supposed to make this time different? Sure, they had been separated for years and here they were as if no time had been spent apart, but for some reason leaving for his base seemed so much more difficult. He knew that this would be, by in large, due to the fact that they would have very limited communication. Veronica wasn't one who was familiar with the US Navy, but Logan was. When he had originally joined, he wasn't too concerned over the fact that he wouldn't be in constant contact with anyone from back home. Now that she was here, it was the only thing he could think about.

He turned the faucet so that scalding hot water hit his skin. He had been getting back into better shape now that he knew he would be leaving within the next month, and his muscles ached almost as bad as his head ached from all the anxiety he had been feeling.

He and Veronica had promised that they would be honest this time around, but now that he had told her his fear and she hadn't jumped to tell him he was wrong, he began to wonder if not telling the truth had been a better option for the two of them. The look on Veronica's face when he had told her that he was scared to get too attached was burned into his brain. It was a mixture of hurt and anger. He had honestly thought she would blow up on him, but instead she had remained uncharacteristically quiet. He wasn't sure which was worse.

_She's going to leave,_ he thought and his stomach turned. He couldn't blame her. They had only been back together for a couple weeks. It wasn't like he expected to her to chain herself to someone who would always be gone.

However, that wasn't even the worse part about him leaving. He knew she would fall back into the PI business. Knowing that she was going to be in law when she had been away in New York had left him feeling some peace all those years apart. Although he never heard from her, he was relieved he would never have to worry about her ending up dead because she got in over her head with one of her cases. Now that she was back home, and he was leaving, he knew he would have to constantly worry about her. She wasn't exactly the safest person he knew. She was always getting herself into trouble. Not only that but she had been out of the business for a while now. Would she be rusty? Would it mean she had a better chance at getting hurt on the job?

Whatever Veronica decided to do about their relationship, he made a mental note to talk to Wallace and Keith to ensure they would keep an eye on her.

_She may be an adult. And she may think she is invincible, but I'm not chancing it. She can get angry with me if she wants, but at least I'll know she's okay._

After what seemed like hours, he finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He took his time as he dried off, wanting to avoid Veronica's response to what he had proposed. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he slowly opened the door.

Veronica was curled up on the bed asleep. Her chest rose and fell softly as he watched her. All his worry and doubt dissipated. He loved her. She loved him. They were going to make this work.

* * *

 

Veronica didn't remember falling asleep, but when she woke up from her nap she found that Logan's arms were wrapped around her and her head was resting on his chest. She didn't move for fear that she would wake him up. She wanted to be able to stay in this moment with him for just a little longer.

He was still shirtless and in boxers, so she softly ran her fingertips across his bare chest. She was torn between wanting him to wake up and to keep him asleep. A yawn from Logan indicated that she didn't get to decide.

"And you said _I_ was lazy," Veronica nudged him softly in the side.

"You must be rubbing off on me," he replied groggily. He pulled her in tightly, burying his face into her hair. "I'm sorry," he said after a moment of silence.

"Don't be… I understand why you feel like that…" she paused as he let her go and placed his hands behind his head. He stared at the ceiling, and she knew he didn't want to have this conversation. "But I'm not going anywhere," she continued.

She watched as he peaked at her from the corner of his eye. That seemed to relax him a bit, but he remained quiet.

"Logan, I mean it." She pulled herself up to be able to look into his face. He avoided her eyes and continued to stare at the ceiling. His attitude was starting to irritate her. "Logan, dammit!"

"I can't ask you to do that, Veronica," he said quietly.

"Then don't. I'm telling you that I'm choosing it on my own." Veronica reached down and ran her fingers through his hair gently. He released a breath of air and finally let his eyes drop down to hers.

"Okay," he finally responded.

"Okay?" Veronica repeated slightly shocked that he backed down so easily. He simply nodded and gave her a smile. Though it was small, she could tell it was genuine.

"When are you heading to New York?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Wednesday." She lay back down and placed her head on his chest.

"Need someone to take you to the airport?"

"Why? You have someone in mind?" she asked before giving a small peck on his collarbone.

"Perhaps."

She realized that she hadn't even thought to ask if he wanted to join her in New York. She was going to have to get used to having an adult relationship with Logan.

"Come with me," she whispered suddenly. His eyes seemed to brighten as he gave a shy smile.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

He gave the top of her head a kiss and told her he would love to join. Veronica was glad she would get more time with him, and that she could show him around New York, but she realized she would need to make sure she got another ticket. And what if she ran into Piz while Logan was with her? The more she thought about it, the less she wanted Logan to join her, but she couldn't take back her invitation now.

As if he were reading her mind, Logan sat up and said, "I'll make sure to get a ticket. Where's your traveling info? I'll get us bumped up to first class."

"Traveling coach is fine…" She began to argue, but realized the son of a movie star probably never flew coach a day in his life. Something about that made her mood worse. Wanting to shake off whatever was making her irritated, she got out of bed, and mumbled something about needing to meet with Weevil about the case. If Logan had noticed that she was trying to get away from the house, he didn't show it. He simply nodded and watched her as she got ready to leave.

"I'll be back before dinner," she promised. She didn't wait to hear his reply.

* * *

 

Logan didn't know if Veronica was actually meeting with Weevil, but he didn't want to fight with her. He had watched her leave, before he sighed and got out of bed. He called the airline, and had secured two seats in first class for an eight A.M. flight to New York on Wednesday. He had been wanting to go with her to New York ever since she had told him her plan, but had refrained from asking because he knew how independent his girlfriend was.

He could tell she was irritated. He knew irritated Veronica very well. He also knew from years of past experience that he needed to just let her run away for a bit when she was like that. He hated unresolved tension, but he knew that she would let him know what was wrong if she needed him to know. At least he hoped she would. Part of him was wondering if it was because he had been so worried about her leaving again. He hated that she knew his deepest fear, and hoped she hadn't thought he was afraid of her leaving because he didn't trust that she wasn't as committed as he was to this relationship. The truth was that he really didn't want her to feel stuck to a face on a computer screen during the limited Skype dates he was offered in the Navy.

But he pushed the negative thoughts out of his head because they had promised they would be honest with each other. She had just told him she was choosing to stay not only thirty minutes ago. He was going to believe her despite of how he internally felt. Knowing she would be home for dinner, he called Luigi's and ordered food so he could have something waiting for her when she got home. He wasn't going to let this small argument- if you could call it that- get in the way of a perfectly good night together.

He smiled and decided to head to the liquor store to get the fanciest bottle of champagne they had. Yes, this was going to be a good night despite what the universe threw at them.

* * *

 

Veronica had slipped into Mars Investigations for some peace and quiet so she could collect her thoughts. She hated lying to Logan about what she was doing, but she couldn't let him see her crack. She had spent a lot of time contemplating her future with Logan, and the truth was that more than anything she was afraid of losing him. The Navy wasn't safe, and being a fighter pilot was _definitely_ not safe. She had spent so much of her life controlling the outcome to events, that not having any control over where he was and his safety was something she could hardly stand.

She sat down at the front desk and switched on the computer. The light from the screen lit up the darkened room. She opened up the internet browser and began her long search of topics surrounding the Navy, fighter pilots, deployment, and life in a military family. She searched page after page of chatrooms filled with support from military wives, children, parents… The lump in her throat grew as she read about the weeks of silence and accidents that happened while away at sea.

_I can't do this,_ she began to panic. She forced herself to take long, slow breaths.

_Yes you can, Mars. There's been worse things to happen to you. I may have expected a different life with Logan when I came home, but dammit… this is going to work._

Their love was epic. They had bloodshed, they had lives ruined, they had spanning years. Spanning continents was just another check off the list.

"What am I doing?" she sighed before exiting out of the internet and turning the computer off.

She was going home.

* * *

 

When she opened the front door of Logan's house the wonderful scent of Luigi's swept over her. Her stomach growled.

_God, he's good._

"Veronica?" Logan turned the corner to find her standing at the door.

"I'm sorry I ran away," she finally managed without choking. She wasn't sure if she was apologizing for running away to New York so many years ago or for levaing earlier that day. Probably a little bit of both. He rushed to her and pulled her into his arms and gave her a reassuring kiss.

"I've gotten this routine down by now," he joked. He places a small chaste kiss on her lips before pulling her to the kitchen which, to Veronica's surprise, had been turned into a florist shop. Roses and lilies filled the room and there were candles spread across the room flickering a soft glow.

"Logan…" Veronica breathed.

The table was set for two. The hot food waiting to be eaten.

"We've had very few proper dates in our time. I just wanted to remind you I can be romantic as well as sexy," he wiggled his eyebrows and pulled the chair out for her to sit. She happily accepted the gesture.

"Logan, this is amazing," she smiled. When he gave a small, shy smile back, her stomach began to do cartwheels.

_God, he's so good,_ she repeated silently.

"The things guys will do to get to past second base," she played.

"What can I say, when I do things, I do them full out." Logan took a bite of his food and raised his eyebrows."You gonna eat, Mars?"

She rolled her eyes and took a large bite of food- a little too large of a bite- to prove to him she was fully capable of eating.

"Cute," he mused as she struggled to chew.

_This,_ she decided, _This is how I want it to always be._

* * *

 

"Logan!" Veronica's voice broke through Logan's dreamstate. "Looogan. Logan wake up," she continued. She was poking him in his side, something that would usually get him up in no time, but their… extra curricular activities had him wiped. He let out a tired moan, but didn't allow her to win.

_Just five more minutes, Mom._

"Logan, dammit. I know you're awake!"

_She always has been persistent, I'll give her that much._

"Lieutenant Echolls, report for duty."

Now he was awake. Wide awake. Hearing her call him by his title was much hotter than he had ever expected.

"Why are you so—"

"Cute?" Veronica interrupted.

"I was going to say pesky."

He opened his eyes to find her face inches away from his own. God, he loved her.

"We're burning daylight here, lover," Veronica whispered playfully as she nipped at his earlobe. An involuntary moan escaped his mouth.

"How do you still have enough energy to keep going?" he yawned. Veronica's eyes widened with pride.

"Have I broken the great sex god, Logan Echolls? Do I get a plaque for that?"

He pulled her down to his mouth and gave her a full and loving kiss.

"I was just concerned about breaking _you_ ," he replied after pulling away.

"I'd like to see you try," she responded huskily.

"I agree to your challenge."

He pulled her in for another kiss, but this time he let his lips linger on hers longer than before. Wanting to be able to control how fast they were taking things, he flipped them so that she was on her back looking up into his face.

_She's so_ "beautiful," he breathed. He hadn't meant to say the last part out loud, but he didn't regret that he had when her lips curled into a smile. He pushed her hair out of her face and gently traced her jawline with his thumb.

"I love you," he whispered with all that he had.

"Show me," she responded, her face flushed at the forwardness of her request. He gladly complied with her wish.

Their bodies intertwined, their love conveyed in every kiss, touch, and sound. He took his time making love to her. He and Veronica were good at sex, but they were even better at this.

* * *

 

It was well into Tuesday afternoon when Veronica finally woke up. She reached for Logan only to find his side of the bed empty. Her stomach dropped. She hated waking up alone.

Sitting up, she looked around the quiet, empty room.

"Logan?" she called. His house was eerily silent, and she knew he wasn't home. She couldn't decide if she was irritated or disappointed that he was had left. "Well, frak."

Veronica sauntered across the hardwood floor of Logan's beach house trying to decide what she was going to do with her free time. She could work on her case, but she was still not entirely sure what her next move should be. She could work on an itinerary for her trip to New York. Now that Logan was joining her, she would need to fill their time with museums, restaurants, and touristy things.

She had been a bit wary about Logan joining her in New York at first. Part of her still held onto New York as her backup plan just in case things didn't work out in California. If Logan waltzed around the streets of New York, she would never be able to erase those images. She wouldn't be able to run back there if anything happened because his ghost would forever haunt the once Logan-less city. Having him come with her was a big leap. It meant she was planning to stay in Neptune, or wherever Logan resided, for the long haul.

_Long haul… Leave it to Aaron Echolls to ruin even a simple phrase,_ Veronica thought angrily.

She was doing this. _They_ were doing this. Her and Logan against the world. Normally the thought of Logan and their future would terrify her, but recently something had changed. Instead of dread and anxiety, she felt a giddiness she had never experienced before. She was actually excited for her future—their future. Sure, Logan being away for months on end in the Navy was not ideal, but knowing that he would always come back home for her made it all worth it.

She sat at the bar and sipped on the lukewarm coffee that had been left for her in the kitchen.

"Honey, I'm home!" Logan's voice rang through the house.

"In here!" Veronica called back. Logan was dressed in his workout clothes, and she realized he must have gone on a run. "Now, Dear, why must I always have to remind you, a lady hates waking up alone?"

"Sorry, Bobcat," he leaned down and kissed her forehead, "morning run… Well, afternoon. Would have been a morning run if someone hadn't kept me awake all night."

"She sounds like a bitch," Veronica quipped back taking another small sip of coffee.

"Eh, sometimes, but I usually enjoy the sex."

" _Usually_?" Veronica scoffed offended. He flashed his devilish smile, and all was forgiven.

"Always," he conceded.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: part of this chapter contains more explicit content in sexual nature than the other chapters. Also, big thanks to guest editor kmd0107 for helping with the smut... I was completely lost while writing it... she saved my ass.

It was freezing in New York. Veronica hadn't forgotten how much colder it was than California, but somehow that first blast of cold air surprised her. She tried to hide her discomfort as she and Logan walked the streets of the city. If he was cold, he was better at hiding it than she was.

"It's up here," Veronica nodded toward the building where her apartment was located. Logan grunted in response which prompted a smile from Veronica. He was clearly freezing his balls off too.

She pulled a set of keys from her pocket and unlocked the entry door to the building. As they stepped into the building, Logan let out a breath he had apparently been holding as if to say, "This is it."

"I'm on the third floor," Veronica informed him. She knew Logan probably didn't care what floor she lived on, but she was trying to fill the silence with pointless talk. It was easier than facing the actually elephant in the room—the reason she wasn't sure she would want him with her in New York. Logan was finally going to have a glimpse into the life she lead for so many years without him. And it wasn't the worst life, if she were honest with herself. And that's what scared her the most about it all.

By the time they made it to her apartment's door, they were both slightly out of breath. Veronica had not missed the three flights of stairs she had to climb every day. She placed her key into the slot but didn't unlock it right away.

 _Here goes nothing,_ she breathed.

Placing her hand on the cold brass doorknob, she began to slowly turn it.

_Click_

With one final breath out, she pushed the door open, abandoning all fear behind her and stepping into the bright room that she used to call home, Logan trailing behind her.

* * *

 

Logan waited patiently as Veronica stared at the door that he assumed led into her apartment. He knew why she was so hesitant, and he didn't want to rush her into opening the door that led to her life without him. It was weird being here with her. He never would have imagined that one day he would be at Veronica's New York home.

When she finally opened the door and stepped inside, he carefully followed behind her. She stepped aside so he could make his way in and so she could shut the door behind them. It took him a few minutes to take in everything. It was small, but very homey. It was very Veronica. She had a small sofa in the living room and in the connected kitchen, appliances were spread across the counter. Not surprising to him, there was very minimal decor. From the looks of it, it was her little cave that she got work done and crashed in every night.

She threw her keys on the counter and sighed.

"Well, here it is. Home sweet home." The sound in her voice wasn't bitter, but it wasn't happy.

"It's _quaint_. I see now why you don't want to take up my offer on staying at _my_ house," he responded with the happiest, sarcastic voice he could muster. She huffed at that as she rolled her eyes, but a smile had crept to her face. He was glad that she was easing up.

"Where's your bedroom? I'd like to tryout your bed." We wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. Another eyeroll from Veronica, but she took his hand and pulled him through a hallway and into her small room.

"It's not much…" her voice trailed off as she stared at her full sized bed that was crammed into a closet sized room.

"So this is where you slept all these years?" he decided to ask. He couldn't help but to copy her stare. He tried to imagine Veronica curled up in bed sleeping, textbooks sprawled around her.

"As soon as I moved to New York, yeah this is where I was," she confirmed. She sat down at the edge of the bed and continued to avoid eye contact by turning her stare toward the open closet.

Sitting next to her, he kissed her shoulder and waited for her to say something...anything. This Veronica, the older Veronica that he was getting to know again, was harder to read than she had been before she'd left Neptune.

"What's wrong, Veronica?" he finally asked in a whisper against her.

"Nothing's… _wrong…_ It's just a little _weird_ for me to have you here. In my room—where I would try to keep you out of my thoughts before I would go to sleep. In my apartment where I strategically only put up photos of Dad, Wallace, and Mac because I couldn't stand seeing your smile every time I walked into my living room. I thought this was it. This was going to be my life from now on. I never thought…" she didn't finish her sentence but instead pursed her lips and looked down.

"I know you planned for us to be here for a few days, but if it's going to be too hard, we can pack everything up right now and be back in California tomorrow?" Logan suggested. He wasn't sure what else he could do.

"No," she replied with a firmer voice. "It's not _bad_ , Logan. It's just a bit surreal." She took his hands into her own and finally looked into his eyes. He let out a breath of relief. He knew she wasn't going to run this time.

* * *

 

The flight to New York had taken a toll on their energy. Although it was only seven at night, Veronica was ready to crawl into bed. The grumbling of her stomach reminded her that they had yet to eat any dinner.

"You hungry?" she asked Logan who had already begun neatly folding her clothes into boxes.

"Starving," he replied with his wolfish smile. Veronica wracked her brain to come up with a restaurant she wanted Logan to try first.

 _Pizza,_ she decided, _definitely pizza._

"I know a good place we can go. How does pizza sound?" she asked as she stood and grabbed a sweater out of her closet. It was fluffy and warm—exactly what she needed on the crisp November day.

"Pizza always sounds good," Logan gave a small chuckle.

Veronica flashed him a smile before pulling the sweater over her head. She looked down and realized that her sweats weren't exactly public appropriate so she searched through her mostly empty drawers for a pair of jeans. When she finally found a pair, she stripped out of her sweats and tossed them at Logan with a smirk.

"Or… we could... stay in…" His voice faded in and out of thought as he watched her pull her jeans on, his eyes following lustfully.

"Down boy," Veronica chided jokingly, "we have the rest of tonight to do whatever it is that's running through your mind right now. But if you expect me to be able to do so _without_ food in my system? You have another thing coming."

"This place is close by right?" he joked back. He pulled her in for a small kiss on the nose. "It's not my fault you're irresistible."

"Come on, smooth talker, let's go eat." She slapped him on the ass as they headed out the door.

* * *

 

Logan had thoroughly enjoyed the slices he had ordered and realized that it wasn't a lie that New York had the best pizza. As they left the hole-in-the-wall restaurant named "Mama's Pizza Parlor" Logan took a mental snapshot of what it looked like, smelled like, felt like. He had made it a habit of memorizing the places he went with Veronica and their moments together. He knew that once he got his orders, he would be shipped off somewhere and there were going to be long, lonely nights where his memories would be all he had.

He followed his small, blonde girlfriend down the sidewalks that had quieted slightly as night had fallen, but were still much busier than Neptune was at this time of night. It was roughly nine, and all he wanted to do was hold Veronica while they lay in bed discussing their thoughts with each other. It was something that they had recently started doing as she stayed the night at his house—discussing intimate things. He wasn't used to Veronica being this open with him, not that he'd been the most open book in the past either. There were a few topics they skirted around: his deployment (although The Navy wasn't off the table), her dad, and New York.

Now that they were in New York, he had a feeling she may bring up some minor details about life here. There was no way she could avoid the topic now. He wanted to know everything about her. _This_ Veronica was still _his_ Veronica, yet she was different somehow. Living here in the city had changed her— time had changed her. Veronica's walls hadn't come down entirely, but they were low enough that occasionally he could peek over them and see the darkest parts of her that she usually kept hidden. Logan felt trusted, something he wasn't completely used to in regards to Veronica. He felt wanted. But most importantly, he felt needed.

Sometimes she would lie next to him and ramble on about how Dick Casablancas better love her for all the work she was doing. She would confide in Logan about how she worried that she would get Weevil in trouble after he had spent so much time cleaning up his life. She would even mention that she was scared the Fitzpatricks would come after her if she got to close to them— to which Logan would assure her that they wouldn't be getting anywhere near her as long as he lived. She would smile cautiously. And he knew it was because she never liked egging on his violence, but somehow she always seemed to be drawn to it. It was one of the many downfalls of their relationship. He liked seeing her surprised, but impressed expression after he had displayed just how far he was willing to go for her.

It was all these things that helped him sleep better at night. The two of them were older and wiser. This time would be different. It was what he repeated over and over again in his head whenever he felt the pang of worry in his stomach. After all these years together and apart, they had learned who they were and what they needed. Before they were drunk on the idea of love and each other. But whenever the high ended, they were forced to stare at reality and one of them always bolted. And even though this time, there were fireworks and there was passion, reality was very prominent. They weren't insecure and immature teenagers any longer. And this time… this time it was going to work.

* * *

 

Veronica had barely closed the door behind them when Logan pushed her hard against it. His lips moved hungrily against hers and she felt as though she was melting into him.

"Veronica." His voice wavered as he pulled away, "I want you. Now."

She couldn't speak, only nod her head, as she pulled him back in.

He lifted her leg as his body crashed against hers, his lips, hot and wet, moved to her neck and down her neck. She could feel his erection hard against her core, making her head spin with desire. He backed away from her suddenly and turned around, looking for something.

 _Don't stop,_ she silently pleaded. His eyes stopped on the little sofa that was across the way in her living room and he smiled. _Bingo._

Dizzily she allowed him to pull her into her living room and onto the couch, discarding clothes along the way.

Her shirt and pants had been shed, and she was laying in her bra and bikini, thanking the heavens that she had decided on the matching purple lace set. Logan shuffled out of his jeans, already shirtless, and kicked his boxers off in the process. He had always avoided being seen without clothes due to the faded white scars that twisted across normally covered skin. It wasn't completely avoidable, of course, and she had seen him naked before but seeing him standing over her now, so vulnerable, made her want him even more. She wanted to be as brave as he was. She wanted to be that vulnerable.

He crawled on top of her and kissed her, his tongue pushed through her open lips and searched her mouth. He tasted the same. Something about that was comforting. His hand found the back of her bra and began playing with the clasp. She arched her back into him so he could easily unhook it. Like the pro that he was, the bra was off instantly. He lifted himself so that he could look at her. His eyes searched her with a mixture of such love and lust that she was almost tempted to cover herself up, the way she used to when they had first started sleeping together.

"You've always been so beautiful," he whispered hoarsely.

"I'm a lot older now…" she glanced down at her body. Time had taken its toll. Her breasts weren't as perky as they had been before, and she wasn't as skinny as she had been in college.

"You're just as beautiful now as you were when I first saw you."

His mouth took hers, not allowing her to come back with anymore responses. He always made her feel like the most beautiful person to ever live, even if she didn't see it.

His mouth trailed a path down her neck to her breasts. His tongue swirled around her hardened nipple. A groan of pleasure escaped from Veronica and she felt his dick twitch against her. His fingers gingerly trailed down her torso to the line of her panties. He pushed the hem down and began to shift his kisses southward. Veronica couldn't help but to wiggle around in heated anticipation. She craved his touch—the heat of his breath against her skin.

He stopped short of her desired destination to pull her underwear down and off completely. He looked up at her and gave her a closed mouth smile. His boyish charm shined through the way it had when they were younger. He was clearly as excited for this as she was.

She thought that he would want to use his mouth, the way he had done so many times before but instead he slid a finger inside her. She gasped, surprised. He glanced at her, eyes questioning, _is this okay?_ She nodded in response. Yes, it was more than okay.

"You're so wet, Veronica," he groaned. He slipped a second finger into her. The feeling of him sliding in and out, moving in the way he knew she liked, hitting her spot so easily, was driving her insane. He must have known she was close to orgasm, because he pulled his fingers out of her slowly before sitting up.

"Do you have…?"

"Condoms!" she remembered, "Yes! Top drawer of my dresser in my room."

He disappeared, but was back cradled between her legs just as quickly. She pulled him into a kiss, she wanted to show him how much she loved him. He needed to know.

"I love you," he whispered before he slid inside of her. He let out a groan. "You feel amazing," he sighed into her hair.

"I love you." Was all she could say before they escaped to their state of bliss— back to a place she could only describe with one word: home.

* * *

 

Logan softly traced swirls across Veronica's bare back with his fingertips. She was pressed firmly against him, their limbs intertwined. Her heavy breathing indicated that she was very relaxed. Logan was always quite proud at how exhausted he could make her. He couldn't help but smirk, mentally giving himself a high five.

"I distinctly remember you telling me once, 'If the cuddling is the best part, he didn't do it right.' But I have to say, Echolls, I don't mind the cuddling _at all_." Veronica gave a small breathless chuckle before she propped herself up—hand underneath her chin against his chest—as she stared up at him.

"Oh, Sweetie, you do like to remind me of my finer moments," he joked with a fake air of dignity and pride.

Veronica didn't respond, but her eyes twinkled mischievously. Logan stared hard into her face. His hand stopped moving across her back for a moment as he studied her. He had been memorizing moments like these for the past few days—taking in everything: the way she looked in the morning as she slept, the smell of her shampoo after a shower, the way she would sometimes bite her lip when she smiled. In this moment he decided he wanted to remember the pure and utter happiness that she exuded. He wanted to keep a mental photograph of her sparkling eyes—of her tousled blonde hair that she had allowed to grow far past her shoulders. It would be the only thing that would get him through the dark and lonely nights, the busy and stressful days to come.

"What?" she finally asked a bit bashfully.

"Nothing," he sighed. His hand went back to its previous motion, which sent a shiver down her body. Logan knew that she would see right through that answer. But here in New York were their final moments together where they didn't have to worry about the life awaiting them in California. He wasn't going to bring up the Navy while laying in bed, very naked, with the love of his life.

Veronica laid her head back down on his chest. Her warm breath sent goosebumps across his cold and prickled skin.

"I have to admit, I had never cuddled with _you_ before I made that statement," Logan finally told her. He could feel as her mouth curled into a smile, but she remained silent, which was unusual for Veronica. "What are you thinking about?" he probed carefully.

Her answer was short and sweet. "How happy I am."

His heart swelled. Their lives had always been complicated and full of hurt and sorrow. Happiness in Neptune was about as short lived as the marriages that transpired there. For a brief moment Logan could imagine a life with Veronica in New York. Walking along the busy sidewalks with her in the fall—bundled up and holding hands. Laying in this bed in the morning on a sunny Saturday whispering and giggling about the weird things they saw the day before. It wasn't a beach town full of class warfare and regrets. It didn't contain memories of his father ushering Logan into his office to kick the shit out of him because Logan had forgotten to wear black socks with his suit. They could create new memories. They could create a new life. Logan knew it wouldn't be possible until he was done with his tour in the Navy. But maybe when he was out…

"Can we just stay here forever? This is nice," Veronica gushed softly as if she could read his thoughts.

"Normally I'm not one to oppose breaking the rules, but there's a small problem with your plan, Bobcat." When she didn't answer he continued, "I hear the Navy takes going AWOL pretty seriously."

"I've gotten you off murder charges, I can beat an AWOL rap." Veronica sat up and looked down into his face, eyes bright with an excitement that was unfamiliar to him.

"We've made it this far, Veronica… What's another 180 days?" He tried to keep his voice light and joking, but there was a seriousness that he couldn't hide from her.

Her eyes darkened a little before asking, "Do you know where you'll be?"

"No," he responded carefully and quietly. She let out a small puff of air. He knew she was frustrated.

"Will you be flying?" she asked him. This was a loaded question; he knew it. The answer, of course, was yes. He would be flying, that was his job in the Navy. She knew that, and she knew the answer, but he knew she didn't like the idea of it.

"Sometimes," was his final response. She didn't push for anymore answers.

"What's 180 days?" she repeated back to him with a small grin. With a quick stolen kiss, she returned to her original position next to him.

 _What's 180 days?_ He thought grimly. _Eternity._

* * *

 

The rest of their days were full of packing, eating, and sex. They tried to hold on to every memory and every moment before they had to head back to Neptune. The little bubble they had created those few days in New York shattered the moment they stepped off the plane at LAX.

Veronica grunted, and Logan looked down at her grumpy face.

"Well, we're home." He nudged her gently, but she didn't respond. "Veronica?"

"This was a mistake, let's go back," she lamented as she threw her head back.

"The Navy… AWOL… remember?" he tried to kid, but she wasn't biting.

"I'm even more convinced that I could get you off of that now."

"Dick's case?" Logan tried again. This time she let out a conceding sigh. She knew he was right.

"Okay, fine, but if everything goes to shit, just know I am not the one to be blamed." He gave her a weak smile and hoped it was convincing. He was just as unhappy about leaving New York as she was.

"Someday we can go back there if you want," he promised. And he meant it. Their lives had to get easier at some point, right? And when it did, nothing would stop him from giving her the world, because her being there with him was all he needed.

"Okay," she agreed, "Let's get home, soldier."

_Let's get home._


	19. Chapter 19

Veronica had only been home for two days when a familiar—and very unwelcome—face walked through the doors of Mars Investigations Monday morning. She had been busily taking notes for Keith when Liam Fitzpatrick's voice boomed through the front office.

"Veronica Mars. Daddy's little, prodigal princess has returned!"

A cold chill ran through her body. After all these years he still sent the fear of God into her. She reminded herself that he was on _her_ turf. He wouldn't try any funny business here… she hoped.

"Liam Fitzpatrick. What an honor. What can I help you with? Missing brother perhaps?" She knew she had hit a nerve when a smile curled onto his ugly face, one that didn't quite reach his dark eyes.

"Missing brother? Don't know what you're talking about," he smiled as he shrugged.

"So why are you here?" she pressed again.

"I heard you're working on a case for the Casablancas kid. I'm not too fond of those Casablancas people…" He stepped closer to the desk that Veronica was sitting behind. She resolved to outwardly show no sign of fear, but her heart pounded faster with each step he took in her direction.

"I didn't know you cared so much about me! You're keeping up on my cases?"

"When they involve a girl from my side of town, I'm _very_ interested."

Veronica had wondered how long it would take for one of the Fitzpatrick cronies to come knocking at her door. She was surprised it had taken them this long to budge in.

"Do you have any information to help me on this case, or did you come all the way here just to tell me what case I'm working on?" Veronica asked pointedly. She wasn't about to let Liam think he was going to control how this case was going.

"Let's just say if you're not working for us, you're against us. And we don't like people who cause problems for us. That Casablancas boy better watch his back if he knows what's good for him."

"He's been told as much. Apparently the Fighting Fitzpatricks are very efficient when it comes to making threats."

Liam pursed his lips for a second, as if he were thinking about what to say next. Another smile appeared before he cooed, "Hopefully you make the right decision, Veronica. Wouldn't want you to end up with one of those pretty face tattoos that we talked about before."

Veronica's fear was quickly morphed into anger. She huffed a sigh. "Well, Liam, I see it one of two ways. Either Dick did this or he didn't. If he did, and I find out he's lying, you can choose what to do with him after that. But I have a feeling we both know it wasn't him. You would have already gotten rid of him if that was the case. He's not exactly the hardest target to hit. So that leaves us with the second option. Dick didn't do this—which I've already established is more likely. The truth is that you have no idea who's to blame, and you need me to figure it out for you. I already have leads and suspicions. So threatening me doesn't seem like the smart thing to do at the moment, now does it?"

This took Liam by surprise. His eyebrows raised and his smile was wiped from his face. He knew she was right.

"You know where to find me," he finally said, slamming the door on his way out.

At Liam's departure, Veronica was finally able to breathe again. He was a loose canon. Anything could set Liam off at any time, and that's what scared her the most about being around him.

To make matters worse, Keith walked through the doors only a few moments later. Veronica knew that there was no way Keith missed the stench of Irish beer and organized crime.

"Honey?" Keith started. He didn't need to ask what he was wondering. Veronica knew far too well what her dad's question was.

"Everything's fine. He was just checking on my progress with the case… It does feel good to have the upperhand with them, for once." It was hard to meet Keith's worried eyes. She knew what was coming—he fatherly warning about messing with the town's two most notorious gangs could end very badly for her. Veronica didn't want to hear it. This was something Veronica was keenly aware of. She didn't like that this case had turned into what appeared to be just one battle in the never end gang war of Neptune, California, but it was her first big shot at proving herself not only to her dad. The fact that Dick was paying her very well was just made it all a little easier to swallow.

"Veronica, you need to drop the case. Let the sheriff's department handle it—"

"Because we both know how well that goes. Dad, it's fine. The Fitzpatricks need me to solve this case, they're not going to cause any trouble."

She knew her dad wouldn't argue any further. They both were aware that once her mind was set, Veronica wouldn't stop until the job was finished.

"Just be careful," he breathed. He walked into his office and shut the door, signaling that he was done talking to her until he wasn't angry any longer. She felt bad that her dad was upset about this case. He was already angry that she was staying in Neptune; taking this case would only further prove to Keith, in his own mind, that he was right to encourage her to leave Neptune for good. . Maybe if she could solve this case, he would finally understand that she was a big girl and was fully capable of handling hard cases.

_Unlikely. I'll always be his baby girl. The one who cheered for pancakes in the morning and dressed in pink cotton,_ she thought grimly.

Deep down she wished that she could still be that girl for him. But they both knew she was far from being that small, blonde now.

* * *

 

"Victor works at a burger joint across town. Alex told me that if you catch him on his break, you'll be able to talk to him without any of the PCHers being around," Eli informed Veronica. He had stopped by Mars Investigations to update her on all that he had heard while she was away in New York. He was able to get his brother, Alex, to keep an ear out for anything the PCHers may be saying. Weevil wasn't thrilled to have his baby brother, whom he boasted was at the top of his class, helping with the investigation. Alex had spent his school years keeping his head down. The PCHers weren't the Navarros' biggest fans. Alex had never been asked to join the bike gang, and he had never wanted to be a part of them. Unlike his brother, he was academically invested and had turned out to be a well rounded student. He kept his GPA above a 3.8 and had his sights on going away to college on an academic scholarship.

"Tell him 'thanks' for me. I know how much it could cost him if the PCHers found out he was spying on them," Veronica said softly. Eil pursed his lips, but kept any snarky comments to himself. He gave a curt nod and stood.

"I want to come with you, just in case. He works tonight, the closing shift. I'll be back here around seven to pick you up."

He knew she had to say yes. Eli couldn't imagine Veronica and Logan were on this adventure together, and Veronica was stupid enough to do this alone. It felt nice. To be needed by Veronica Mars again.

He raised an eyebrow at her, and by the look of her face, he knew she wasn't going to say no.

* * *

 

Veronica wasn't about to argue with Eli. In fact, she felt at ease knowing her old friend was so willing to join her whenever she had to confront the bikers. It wasn't that she was necessarily afraid of the teenagers, but she wasn't jumping for joy whenever she had to talk to them. Eli was a perfect form of backup.

"Sounds good," she smiled, "See you at seven." And with that he left her alone at the receptionist desk. Keith had yet to open his door. Either he was extremely busy or he was still fuming that his only daughter was going against his will by continuing this case. Either way Veronica was not about to disturb him. Sighing, she stood and made her way to his Keurig and made herself a cup of coffee. She quickly decided to make her dad a cup as well— maybe he would take a peace offering?

Steaming, hot, and smelling scrumptious, she carried the coffee to his office and slightly tapped at the door before opening it slowly.

"I come bearing the gift of caffeine. You've been in here all day. I thought some coffee would do you good." She smiled, holding the mug out to him. He looked up at her wearily but took the coffee from her and sipped.

"The coffee is good, but it doesn't erase my anxiety over your case, Sweet Daughter of Mine," he returned. She could hear the tiresome worry in his voice and felt a pang of guilt. She hated doing this to him. But it was going to turn out in their favor. He would see that in the end, and it would all be worth it.

"I'm not asking you not to worry," she started slowly. She sat down in one of his comfy seats placed in front of his desk. "I'm just asking that you trust me."

Keith took a larger sip from his coffee before replying, "I trust you, Veronica."

"That's all I need to know."

They sat in a short silence. She watched as he drank from the black mug which had the Mars Investigations logo plastered on the front. She had made the mug for him for his birthday Sophomore year of high school.

"How's the case going? Eli have any leads?" Keith finally asked. Veronica let a small smile creep to her face. It was just like that Keith was back to being the curious PI she knew he was.

"Yeah, I'm going to try the Victor kid again. This time at work. He can't run, but he won't be able to hide behind his buddies either." Keith nodded, obviously taking in what she had told him. "I know that he and Adrian aren't telling the truth. If I can get to them separately, one of them is bound to crack."

"What do you think they're hiding?" he asked her.

"I'm not sure. I know that Victor was in some sort of relationship with Ailene. I'm just hoping that it was more than just hooking up. Maybe if I pull on those tough heartstrings of his, he'll tell me something useful."

"And Adrian?"

"He's a bit tougher to crack. All I can think of is that he's Victor's cousin. If he's as loyal as the Navarro boys are to their family, I'm thinking I can threaten his cousin. If he knows anything, or if he has any guilt in this crime, maybe he'll confess."

"So you think Adrian has more reason to hurt Ailene than her alleged boyfriend?" Keith sounded skeptical.

"There was something off. He seemed to eager to jump into Victor's conversation with me. He's definitely hiding something. I just don't know what. And from what I've learned, I think Victor and Ailene may have been serious about each other. But they were afraid for their families to find out about the relationship. I don't think he hurt her."

"I guess you'll find out, won't you? Stay safe. Is Eli joining you?"

"He's picking me up at seven," Veronica confirmed. This seemed to put Keith at ease.

"Keep me posted on what you find. I'm interested to hear what you find." Veronica just nodded and propped her feet up on Keith's desk. He gave her the look he always gave when she propped her feet up on furniture, but he withheld the usual, "I didn't raise you in a barn." They drank their coffee together, and Veronica watched her dad as he worked. He shuffled through files, and when he would find something he needed, he would turn to his computer and type furiously. She knew he had a lot of cases on his plate— mostly unfaithful spouses. She was glad that after Dick's case she could help lighten the load for him.

A little before seven she heard someone enter the office, and she knew it was Eli. She slipped away while Keith was on the phone with a millionaire's wife, informing her that he did, indeed, have shots he would like to show her of her husband, and would she be so kind as to make her way to his office. He gave a small wave as she left.

"You ready?" Eli asked as she entered the room.

"Is that, like, a rhetorical question?" she joked, "When is Veronica Mars _not_ ready?"

Eli just shook his head and chuckled. She knew he enjoyed being around her and her snark. Everytime he rolled his eyes at her, she felt at home.

* * *

 

Eli and Veronica entered Helen's Burgers and Fries at seven thirty. She spotted Victor behind the counter and quickly made her way to order some food. She knew that Victor had spotted her as he ducked away as she ordered. Nancy, a skinny teenaged girl, took her order with little enthusiasm.

"Hey, so I'm like a friend of Victor… if you know what I mean." Veronica provided a wink and continued in her best Amber voice. "Can you, like, tell him that I'll be waiting at my table for him? I want to talk to him while he's on his break."

The skinny girl stared at Veronica and nodded, "Okay… I'll let him know."

"Oh my God, thanks, Nancy," Veronica smiled. She quickly grabbed her bag of food and sat down at the table Eli had chosen.

"It's a good thing you have a face that doesn't age. Otherwise, you would sound like a creep for suggesting you're sleeping with a teenager…" Eli grunted.

"Shush and eat your food," Veronica scolded him. He took the cheeseburger from her hands and immediately unwrapped it.

"Man, I haven't had one of Helen's burgers in… years," he told Veronica before stuffing his mouth full of food. When Veronica took a bite of her own burger, she had to admit it was pretty damn good.

Forty-five minutes passed before Victor finally made his appearance. He slowly walked toward their table, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Nancy said you wanted to talk to me?" he asked quietly. Without his cousin Adrian hanging around, he was much more nervous with Veronica.

"Sit," she demanded. He took the seat she motioned to but stayed silent. "I know you were seeing Ailene," Veronica finally said. He flinched a little but didn't say a word. "You know," she tried again, "I would think someone who cared so much about her would be interested in finding her killer."

"They did! It's the ashole you're trying to save, Dick Casablancas!" Victor looked at her with vehemence. Veronica knew she was going to get somewhere.

"Dick didn't do this to her," Veronica replied with a softer voice.

"It was his car—"

"He has an alibi" Veronica told him matter-of-factly. Victor shifted his weight.

"So you think I did it?" he asked angrily.

"I don't know, Victor. You tell me! You texted her phone within the hour of the accident. She was meeting you. Don't you find that the least bit suspicious?" Victor looked taken aback by the discovery.

"I hadn't talked to her at all that day. She told me not to text her because her dad would be around." Something in his voice and the look in his eyes made Veronica think he was telling her the truth. But his phone records said otherwise.

"I don't know what game you're playing, Victor, but there is proof that your phone texted her phone thirty-eight minutes before she was run over. If you didn't text her, who did?"

He looked down, and she knew he was upset. When he looked back up at her, he had tears in his eyes.

"I loved her," he told Veronica. "I would have never, never hurt her, let alone kill her. We were planning on running away. Getting out of this town. I promise you it wasn't me, okay?"

Veronica contemplated what he said. He wasn't the first PCHer with the dreams of running away with a Fitzpatrick girl…

"Did anyone else know about Ailene?" Veronica asked. "Adrian?"

Victor shook his head. "I didn't trust anyone with our secret. Nobody knew. They would have killed me." He glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Listen, I have to get back to work… If you have anymore questions, you know my number. I'll answer whatever you need me to." He looked defeated and upset. Veronica just nodded and watched him leave.

"When will these boys ever learn?" Eli muttered under his breath.

Veronica knew that he must be thinking about Felix. She couldn't help but feel sad for Eli. Losing Felix had been hard. This case couldn't be easy for him to be involved in.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Veronica sighed. They left Helen's Burgers quietly. Victor wasn't their guy.

* * *

 

Veronica was pacing the floor as both Keith and Eli watched her from the couch in the lobby of Mars Investigations. "Just because Victor isn't the killer, doesn't mean Adrian wasn't involved somehow," she breathed angrily. " What if he found out? What if he was getting vengeance against his cousin for hooking up with a Fitzpatrick?"

"I don't know, V," Weevil said "I just don't think you understand what family means to those guys. I can't see Adrian killing someone his cousin loved. Maybe beating Victor up… but killing Ailene? Not only that, but the PCHers stay as far away from the Fitzpatricks as they can after the drug dealing incident. I don't think Adrian would be willing to put the whole gang at risk over his cousin's dumb love decision."

Veronica knew he was right. Even if Adrian hated Victor for choosing to love a Fitzpatrick, he wouldn't risk his gang's safety by killing Ailene.

"He knows _something_ ," Veronica breathed angrily. "I need to talk with Adrian alone."

Eli threw his head back in frustration. He had spent the better part of the night trying to convince Veronica she didn't want to get involved with Adrian. He was bad news. Keith, of course, had agreed with Weevil, and even commented that the ex-felon was making more sense than she was.

"If you go anywhere near him, I'm coming with you," Eli told her.

"I couldn't ask that of you."

"Going and talking to Adrian is dangerous, Veronica. I'm not letting you talk to him alone." He was right, of course. She was asking the impossible of Eli. He had worked so hard to distance himself from these kinds of messes, and yet here she was pulling him back in.

"Veronica, if you're determined to talk to this Adrian kid, you need to let Eli go," Keith agreed. "What does Logan think about all of this?"

The truth was, Logan didn't know any of this. He had been so busy when he got home she had hardly seen him. If he wasn't on the phone with the Navy he was doing paperwork. If he wasn't doing paperwork, he was working out. It left very little time for conversation to be had between them. She was well aware that he would be worried if he knew she was planning on talking to the leader of the PCHers alone, but she couldn't make her business decisions based off of how others felt.

"Eli, you can come. But you have to stay in the car. Adrian won't talk if you're with me. You know that. I know that."

"Fine," Eli finally agreed. Veronica looked from Keith to her friend and knew they weren't thrilled with her plan to meet with Adrian, but she didn't have many other options. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Adrian's number that Weevil had been able to retrieve for her.

* * *

 

Early the next morning Veronica sat at Logan's table for breakfast. She was planning on seeing Adrian later that day. She had told him she had some information he might be interested in knowing. He had promised her that, if she were to stop by his grandma's house at lunchtime, he would be alone and would be up to listen to whatever she had to say.

Veronica contemplated whether she would tell Logan about the meeting, but after feeling guilty all night, she had decided she needed to let him in on it.

"I just wish you wouldn't get into situations like this, Veronica," he was saying between bites of his oatmeal.

"I know... " he have her an incredulous look, "I do! I know that it's not ideal, but he knows something, Logan. I have to know what that is."

Logan took another bite of his oatmeal. The mornings had gotten colder as each day passed, and he always came back from his morning run half-frozen and sweaty. Veronica remembered her mom saying something when she was a kid that oatmeal kept your body warm during the winter. She wasn't sure if her mother was actually right or if it was just a way to get Veronica to eat the nasty slop, but it had worked. So Veronica had heated up apple cinnamon oatmeal once her boyfriend returned that morning. It had been raining, and his sweatshirt was soaked through.

"This is why I hate that I'm going to be away on some boat while you're here putting your life at risk whenever you get the chance." His voice was light, but his message stabbed like a knife.

_This is exactly what got in between us during college. Are we really destined to repeat our history?_

"That's not fair, and you know it. If there was any other way to solve this case, I would take it. But there's not… And I'll have Eli with me."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better, Veronica. How much do we even know about Weevil anymore? Who's to say he isn't playing you?"

"Playing me?! Logan, this isn't some crime show where you can't trust anyone! Eli is one of my oldest friends. He's putting himself on the line to help me!"

"And I wonder why that is…" Logan scoffed under his breath. He was really starting to piss her off.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded, her voice shrill. She knew what he was insinuating, but she wanted him to admit it out loud. Maybe he could hear how dumb it sounded.

"Eli has always had a thing for you, Veronica. I'm not blind, and I know you're not that stupid!" His voice had risen as well. She knew he was genuinely angry; she had seen this side of Logan many times.

Closing her eyes and pressing her fingers against her temple, she replied, "Logan, it's been years since I've seen Eli. _Years_. Any crush he may have had when we were in high school is long gone." She opened her eyes and narrowed them at Logan. "And jealousy is not your best color."

He pushed his seat back and stood up angrily.

"I'm taking a shower," he informed her before stomping up the stairs.

_Great,_ Veronica thought. _Great way to start this day. When is he ever going to trust that I'm a big girl? God… it's always the same fight._

She paused for a moment and sighed.

_And yet, you know he's got a valid argument, Mars. Nobody seems to want you on this case. Not even Eli…_

But she was already this far, and she needed to see it through. Or did she? Was she actually still on this case for the sake of Mac and justice for Ailene? Or was there another reason? Sure, she cared to know what happened to the Fitzpatrick girl and of course she cared to help Mac… But if she were honest with herself, she knew the real reason behind her continuing this case. She needed to solve this case to prove to herself she had made the right choice. She needed to know that she still had what it took to be in this business. Her true reasons were selfish. She knew it. Her dad knew it. Hell, everyone knew the real reason, which was probably why they were so against her being on this case.

If she was smart, she knew she would have dropped the case ages ago. She would have let Dick go to court and win. Her dad had been right when he said he was a rich white kid. He would get off. But she wasn't doing this for Dick. She was doing it for herself.

And she wasn't going to apologize for that.

* * *

 

Logan had remained very quiet for the remainder of their time together. Eli picked her up around noon to take them to Adrian's house. Before leaving, Logan had murmured something about having a date night and she had agreed.

"What? Trouble in Paradise?" Weevil snarked once he had backed out of Logan's driveway.

"What? No… Just drive." Veronica wasn't in the mood to discuss relationship issues with Eli. She knew how Eli felt about Logan.

Across town, they pulled up to a small house. It looked a lot like the Navarro's house when they were in high school. It was well kept, which indicated that Adrian must live with a woman. Based the naked angel statues in the garden area of the house, she assumed it must be his mom or grandma.

Veronica used her laptop to open the spy software that her bug was attached to. She spoke into the small microphone that would soon be hidden in button ups pocket to ensure it was in working order. When she saw that it was working perfectly, she handed Eli the computer.

"Stay here and keep an ear out for anything that may sound threatening. Then and only then can you come inside."

Eli gave her an apprehensive look before giving her a small nod. "Whatever you say, V. Stay safe."

"Always," Veronica smiled back before jumping out of the passenger seat and heading to the door.

She gave three sharp knocks and turned back toward the car to see Eli watching her like a hawk. That made her feel better. She turned back to face the door when a sudden uneasy feeling washed through her. There was something wrong. She quickly scanned the yard and the driveway. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so she shook of the feeling and smiled once Adrian opened the door.

Once inside, he dropped himself onto the recliner and nodded toward the couch. "You can sit."

"Thanks," Veronica replied. She took in the small living room quickly. Wooden panelling for the walls, green plants that vined around wildly, and a small TV that Veronica could only assume came from the early 2000s. The couch she sat on was made from a scratchy floral material. Shifting nervously, Veronica tried to focus on her task at hand.

"So are you going to just sit on my couch staring at me, or are you gonna spill, blondie?" Adrian's voice was cold and still. She couldn't tell if he was nervous or if he was annoyed, but there was something in his voice that made her aware that he was uncomfortable.

"I know who killed Ailene. I just wanted to see if I had to spell it out for you, or if you were going to finally admit that you know who did it too," she said before forcing her bitchy smile.

"I guess you'll have to spell it out for me," he shrugged. He leaned back into the recliner and smiled, not taking her bait.

"Victor, it's clear that he did it. He texted her, I'm assuming asking her to meet him, and so she did. Poor girl didn't know what was coming, did she?" Adrian's face fell, but he didn't say anything. "So, Adrian, did you find out your little cousin was fooling around with a Fitzpatrick girl? Did you kick him around? How did you get your cousin to kill his girlfriend?"

Veronica prayed her bluff would work. She knew that Victor didn't have anything to do with the murder, but from the look on Adrian's face, he had an idea of what had happened. If blood did, indeed, run deep, she was betting on the fact that he wouldn't let his cousin take the fall.

"Victor didn't murder his trash girlfriend," Adrian finally said. She could see the anger in his eyes. "If you think you can come in here, and turn me against my own blood, you're crazier than they say!" He jumped from his seat. Veronica wasn't sure what he was going to do, but before she could find out, the sound of a slamming door caused both of them to jump.

"Adrian, _Hijo de perra_!" a voice shouted from the room behind them. Veronica twisted her head to see Victor, carrying a handgun, striding purposefully into the living room. "You son of a bitch! I know what you've done!"

Adrian's white face confirmed what Veronica knew, and what Victor had apparently found out. Adrian had killed Ailene.

"Come on, man!" Adrian said, his hand in from of him, pleading with Victor. "Put the gun down. You don't know what you're talking about. This bitch is pinning us against each other!"

Adrian pointed a finger at a trembling Veronica. She was stuck, frozen, on the couch. She knew any sudden moves with a drawn gun could result in terrible aftermath. She stayed still, watching the scene helplessly.

"How could you take her from me?" Victor was crying. Tears streamed down his red face.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Adrian insisted. This turned out to be a bad move on his end, because Victor pointed the gun at his head.

"Stop lying to me! Family doesn't lie!" he screamed.

"Okay!" Adrian threw his hands up in surrender, "Okay! I'll tell you what you want to know. It's not what you think!"

"Start talking!"

"Okay! Come on, man. Put the gun down first." Victor looked icily at his cousin and didn't move a muscle. His lips tightened in a grimace, and so Adrian began, "I found out about Ailene. I knew you were up to something, I just didn't know what. I stole your phone and read your messages. I realized that it had to be Ailene from school, and I knew what kind of trouble you were in. I mean, The Fitzpatricks? Really, Victor? We taught you better than that, _primo._ "

Veronica flinched. She couldn't imagine that scolding someone with a gun pointed to you was the best way to get out of this situation alive, but Victor, though eyes puffy from crying, didn't change his stony expression.

"I followed Ailene around and realized she was close with some blonde chick, another one of them. One day she ditched her car, and I stole it. That was the day of… the accident." Adrian looked to Veronica, as if he needed reassurance that he was doing the right thing by coming clean. "I took your phone when you were showering. I texted your girl, told her to meet me… er… you." Victor's hand shook as he placed the gun against Adrian's forehead.

"What did you do?" he choked.

"I didn't—"

"What. Did. You. DO?!" Victor screamed. Adrian began to cry. His body shaking. Veronica wondered whether it was due to hurting his cousin the way he did or for fear of his life. Veronica barely breathed. She wanted to get out of here alive.

_Weevil, where the hell are you?_ She thought. Her stomach churning, and adrenaline waning.

"Victor," she finally spoke. His eyes snapped over to her direction as if to notice her for the first time.

"I want to hear him say it!" Victor cried, Adrian whimpering beside him.

"He's going to get what's coming to him. He'll end up in jail! Don't throw your life away over him… it won't bring him back." She knew reasoning with someone in the mindset wouldn't be of much use, but she had to try.

"I want him to admit that he killed her! I need to know!"

His gaze turned back to a very scared Adrian. He cocked the gun, and Adrian let out an animalistic moan.

"She was standing there. It was dark. I just wanted to scare her. I knew the car would be traced to the other Fitzpatrick girl. I just wanted to scare her," Adrian groaned.

"What happened?" Victor said. His voice was so quiet Veronica had to strain her ears to hear him.

"I was going to run her off the road, but she must not have seen me in time… I went too fast… I hit her, and as soon as I heard the body…" Adrian shuddered and looked like he was going to be sick. "I ditched the car and ran. I never knew the car belonged to Dick… When I heard it was his car, I hoped it would all disappear after a while. We could move on… You could live a life with no strings attached to that family!"

Victor's cheeks were streaked with tears again. "You took her from me! You took her from me…" he was repeating.

"I only wanted to scare her! Scare them!" Adrian tried to move closer to Victor, who had momentarily lowered the gun, but his small movement sprung Victor into action. He placed the gun back on his forehead.

"I loved her!" Victor cried.

"Victor!" Veronica's shrill voice yelled out, "Don't!"

But it was too late. The loud shot rang through the room and Veronica dropped to the floor and covered her head.

"This is your fault! I could have moved on! I could have lived my life!" Victor cried and he moved towards Veronica who was still laying on the ground.

"Please, Victor, please."

"Now I'm going to jail," Victor continued, not listening to Veronica's pleas.

"Victor you don't have to do this," she cried.

She thought of her dad. He had been so angry she came back to live in this kind of world. She thought of Wallace and how he had been so excited to see her again. "He hasn't been the same since you've been gone." She was back, and just as quickly was going to be gone again. She thought of Logan. His beautiful smile she loved to wake up to in the morning. The protective arms around her as she slept beside him. She had left the house angry with him, they hadn't even said "I love you," before she drove away.

She felt the hard metal against the back her her head. The sound of the gun cocking made her stomach drop.

"I'm sorry, Veronica," Victor criend.

She was too.


	20. Chapter 20

Veronica took in one long breath and prayed. She wasn't even sure if anyone was on the other side to listen, but she couldn't think of anything else to do. It seemed as if everything was moving in slow motion. Part of her wished the inevitable would just happen already so she could go as quickly as she could.

But instead of the sound of a gun firing, something hard and heavy fell on top of her. Her head hit with a loud crack against the small coffee table beside her.

She turned to see Weevil wrestling the gun out of Victor's hands. She clumsily stood and watched them in a daze. She saw Eli kick the gun away. It took her a moment to process what she needed to do, but she hazily stumbled to where the gun had landed and picked it up.

"Victor!" she screeched. His body went limp in Weevil's arms. She could hear sirens in the distance, though she wasn't sure if she was hearing things—her ears were ringing from the blow to her head—or if Weevil had called the cops.

"Veronica?" Eli's concerned voice asked. She couldn't see him anymore, and his voice sounded as if he were on the other end of a tunnel. Then everything went black.

* * *

 

Logan had decided to go surfing for the day. He couldn't sit around the house waiting for Veronica to return. He was still angry that she didn't seem to have any regard for her safety. After all these years, he had hoped her self preservation skills might have improved. Apparently that had been wishful thinking.

After a few hours of catching shitty waves, he decided he could use some lunch. He didn't bother to check his cell. Veronica would be home by now, but he wasn't ready to make peace quite yet. He threw his board down outside of the house and rushed off. There was a burger place just a little further down. He didn't even give himself a chance to look at the driveway.

* * *

 

"Logan?" Logan jumped at the sound of his name. He took another bite of his burger before turning to see Wallace rushing to his table.

"Has the little blonde one sent you to make a peace offering?" He smiled, but Wallace's wide eyes and angry expression stopped anymore sarcastic quips to escape.

"Dude, where have you been?!" Wallace demanded. "We've all been trying to contact you for hours!"

"What happened?" Logan stood and had to steady himself against the table; he knew where this conversation was leading. "Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine," Wallace reassured. Logan felt his legs buckling.

"What happened, Wallace?" he asked again, but Wallace just shook his head and motioned for him to follow.

"I'll explain in the car," Wallace said over his shoulder.

Logan followed, angry that his friend would withhold information from him.

Once they were in the car and on their way to what Logan assumed was the hospital, Wallace told him what had happened. The kids that she was investigating had had a dispute, and she ended up in the middle of it. Weevil, _freaking Weevil_ , had saved the day.

"She's at her dad's," Wallace finally said. "She's shaken up, but she's okay. Just a minor head injury from hitting it."

"Is Weevil okay?' Logan forced. As much as it pained him to care about that thug, he knew Eli was the only reason Veronica was still alive and breathing.

"He made it out without a scratch. And the Victor kid's in jail."

_This_ , Logan thought, _is exactly why I was upset. I knew this would happen. It always happens!_

Veronica's suggestion of going AWOL was sounding more sane by the minute…

* * *

 

Wallace had tried to remain calm when he received the call from Keith that Veronica had been involved in a gang related dispute. He felt as though he were reliving high school. He had hoped the years of being away from the family business had made her realize that she needed to be more careful. But of course not, this was Veronica Mars. She was one of the smartest and stupidest people he knew.

He had been instructed to get ahold of Logan who was apparently MIA. After hours of calling his phone, Wallace waited at Logan's house in hopes that he would come home. He watched as Logan sped away and followed him to the small diner. After getting off the phone with Keith, Wallace had worked the courage up to be the one breaking the unpleasant news to Veronica's boyfriend.

Driving Logan to see his mangled girlfriend made him wonder how many of Logan and Veronica's fights were not Logan's fault, but rather Veronica being irrational about her life and her decisions. The man next to him was a mess. Logan kept shaking his leg and running his hands through his hair. Wallace prayed Logan wouldn't cry. He wasn't ready to be on that level of friendship with the guy yet.

"She'll be okay. She's okay," Wallace repeated stupidly for the twenty-minute drive. He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Logan or himself of that fact, but as soon as he pulled up to Keith's house, he felt more at ease. Logan practically leapt out of the car before it stopped, so Wallace came shuffling through the door after him.

Veronica was sitting on the couch looking embarrassed.

"Looks like your gentlemen have arrived," Keith joked. Something about Keith's calm and joking attitude made Wallace's anxiety leave in a sudden and welcomed rush.

"So they have," she smiled. "So," she said in mock seriousness, "is this where you make an ultimatum and I'm forced to choose between the two of you? This all feels very '90s teen TV drama to me."

"Veronica." Keith's voice held a warning. He must have sensed Logan's state of mind. Her face reddened; she clearly understood this was not the moment to be joking. As soon as Wallace saw that Veronica was her normal spit-fire self, his anxiety was replaced with anger. She might not care about her life and safety, but for the rest of them, going through this trauma over and over again was not fair.

"Guys," she said softly with concern, "I'm fine. Really."

"You could have died," Logan told her. Wallace nodded in agreement.

"I had Eli. Honestly, I was going to be fine," she tried to assure them. Wallace knew better; she was lying. He could tell by the slightly higher pitch in her voice and small, almost undetectable waver. Logan tensed beside him, and something told him that Logan had come to the same conclusion.

"Kids," Keith said suddenly, making them all start slightly, "I'll be in the kitchen with Mac making dinner. Feel free to stay, I'll make enough for everyone."

Logan made his way to the couch on which Veronica sat. Wallace didn't move, feeling very awkward—as if he were watching something intimate. Logan was uttering something softly to Veronica. She shook her head and became angry. Wallace took this opportunity to join Keith in the kitchen. Hurricane Logan and Veronica was brewing, and he didn't want to be caught in the inevitable storm.

* * *

 

Logan was less angry with Veronica than he was worried. The side of her head was bandaged, and she informed him she had to have stitches because she had cracked her head open on the coffee table. She refused to share any more detail than that, which infuriated him. She at least owed them an explanation of what had occurred.

"I guess I owe Eli my thanks," Logan shrugged before stuffing his hands in his pockets to keep them from fidgeting nervously.

"He's a good wingman," Veronica agreed quietly.

They sat in a deafening silence for a few minutes before Mac called to them, telling them dinner was ready in the kitchen. Logan watched as Veronica stood gingerly and limped toward the kitchen. Every hobbled step she took made him more anxious. How could he leave now? Everything he was worried about had happened before he had even stepped foot on his naval ship.

"You coming?" Veronica's voice was soft and timid and completely out of character. Logan nodded and gave her a smile, hoping that would put her at ease.

* * *

 

It took some convincing, but Keith had finally agreed that it would be all right for Veronica to go home with Logan. Veronica was secretly relieved. She couldn't imagine remaining under her dad's scrutinous watch any longer. The pained look in his face as he watched her made her uneasy. At least Logan tried to pretend that he was okay.

The first thing Veronica wanted to do when she got back to Logan's was take a shower. She felt dirty and she could feel the dried blood in her hair. Logan smiled and ran the water for her as she undressed.

"If you need anything," he told her, "I'll just be right here." He pointed to his bed.

She nodded, her head tired and heavy.

The moment she slipped into the shower and felt the hot water hit her face, she broke down. The tragedy of the day hit her like a train. Horrible images flooded her thoughts in quick succession.

First she saw Adrian, lifeless and lying in a pool of his own blood. She saw Eli's pale face as he struggled to get to her. The images were so vivid as if she were in the moment all over again. She could see his mouth moving, but she couldn't hear his words. Then she saw Victor shaking. Why was he shaking? She realized he was sobbing.

Then Veronica saw Lilly's mysterious smile. "I have a secret. I big one." Lilly's smiling face was interrupted with the image of her bloody friend, her eyes wide and frozen, staring into nothingness. Veronica tried to reach out to her, but then the room morphed into another memory.

Then Veronica saw her underwear on the floor of Shelly's guestroom. She shook the memory from her mind, but it was only replaced by another.

She saw Logan fall into her arms the night of the stabbing. She held him until she had heard a knock on the door. Veronica panicked. She knew the sheriff's department would find him there. She had tried to stay calm for Logan's sake even though she didn't know what the future held.

Veronica sobbed harder and found herself looking into the face of Cassidy Casablancas just moments before he stepped off the edge of the roof of the Neptune Grand.

Next came parker Parker, her head shaved, as she screamed. A sound that Veronica could never forget.

They were things she could never unsee—ghosts that would follow her for the rest of her life.

The weight of the day and the horrible images that were burned into her brain became too much and Veronica crumpled. She pulled her knees in close to her body and pressed her head against them. She let herself feel the grief, anxiety, sorrow, and anger. She had tried too long to hold everything in.

After what seemed like hours, the tears stopped, but she still couldn't bring herself to move. The water had become lukewarm, which made her shiver.

_Move,_ she told herself, _just move, Mars._

But she was frozen. Mentally and physically exhausted from all that had happened that day. Tired from everything that had happened in her life. The anxiety of not being enough or cut out for this job. Thinking about everything she had been through and everything she had put her loved ones through was too much. Everything was too much.

_So this is why I avoid feelings,_ she thought wryly. She shut her eyes and continued to let the water run down her back. Her mind jolted awake when she felt the warm touch of a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to look up and see what was happening, but tears had begun to fall again. She knew it was Logan, and knowing he was seeing her this way was embarrassing. She was ashamed.

* * *

 

Logan sat on the edge of his bed listening to the water fall. Veronica's usual ten-minute shower had slowly turned to fifteen minutes, then twenty. When she had been in the shower longer than thirty minutes, the worry he'd been feeling had turned more acute, so he had slid into the bathroom as soundlessly as possible. He listened for any sign of movement, but when he only heard the constant drizzling of the water, he pulled back the curtain.

The sight of Veronica naked and shivering in the bathtub was almost overwhelming. His badass girlfriend looked so… _human_. He felt the water with his hand and quickly turned up the heat. After slipping out of his clothes, he stepped in and touched her shoulder. She didn't move.

"Veronica, come on, we need to clean you up," he whispered insistently. She didn't argue or fight when he helped her to her feet, but she didn't turn to see him. He poured shampoo into his hand and slowly began massaging it into her hair. He was careful to avoid her stitches. He turned her to face him so he could rinse out the shampoo. It was only then that she looked at him. Her eyes were red from crying. She bit her lip, and remained silent as he washed out her hair. As soon as he was finished she buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm so sorry," she cried over and over again.

He tried shushing her and ran his hand down her back, but she couldn't be consoled. Logan was at a loss for what to do. It was a rarity to see Veronica this way.

He kissed the top of her head and lifted her face so he could look into it.

"Veronica, let's get you dried off and into bed."

She nodded in approval. Quietly they got out of the shower and wrapped towels around themselves.

Veronica was leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom when Logan handed her a pair of his fleece pajama bottoms and tee shirt.

"Thank you," her hoarse voice uttered as she grabbed them from him. He smiled, even if it was forced, and returned to his drawer to retrieve a pair of boxers from himself.

"You okay?" he asked. The concern in his voice could not be disguised.

She gave him a smile and nodded. "I feel a lot better now," she returned. Her voice was lighter and she didn't sound upset. Her ability to switch from one emotion to another astounded him.

"Okay," he replied, although still extremely cautious.

He felt uncertain until she had come to where he stood and gave him a deep kiss and earnestly told him, "I'm fine and I love you."

* * *

 

When she finally snapped out of her haze, Veronica knew she had major damage control to do. She had seen the fear in Logan's eyes. She knew that he was worried and scared for her. She put on her mask and decided to put on a show for him. She couldn't have him worried about her. Not when he was only weeks or days away from leaving.

After Logan and Veronica got dressed for bed, they headed downstairs and made hot tea. They sipped it and mindlessly watched TV between kisses.

As soon as they had made their way upstairs and had slipped into bed, Logan turned to face her and sighed. She knew the dreaded conversation was coming.

"What?" she teased.

"You know what."

"No, I actually don't… Okay I do, but lay it all out there, baby."

Her lighthearted prodding didn't seem to make Logan feel any better. He continued to peer into her eyes, sad, like she remembered he would all those years ago before and after their fights.

"You're going to wind up dead, Veronica."

"I won't," she protested. He grunted.

"You will if you keep this up. I thought things were going to be different!"

Anger began to bubble within her, but she remembered the shower and kept her voice calm when she replied, "We already had this fight this morning."

"You asked for me to lay it out for you," he reminded her harshly. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her head was pounding.

"I know… Okay, I know, Logan. I won't get into these kinds of cases again. I'll help dad with the cheating husbands and the lost dogs." She tried to hide the anger and the obvious sarcasm, but she knew he had caught on.

"Will those cases be enough for my action figure girlfriend?" he questioned.

"If that means you'll worry less, than I guess I can make a change." She wanted to mean it. She _hoped_ that she did.

"I won't make you promise me anything, Veronica. I just want you to be safer. You can't keep ending up in situations where someone is dead and you barely escaped death by the scrape of your teeth. I won't be here to clean up the mess next time."

She winced at his choice of words. _The mess_. She had been a mess, but still the words stung.

"I'll be working with Dad from now on." She insisted. He nodded and she continued, "Any serious cases will be done as a team. I won't go off alone. I promise."

She knew that was all he needed to hear. He pulled her in for a kiss. Once they had broken apart he gently swiped hair away from her bandaged head.

"Since our date night was kind of a bust tonight, what do you say we try again tomorrow?" he asked her quietly. She grinned and gave him a small peck on the cheek.

"I would love that."

* * *

 

Logan had let Veronica sleep in the following day. He knew she needed all the rest she could get. Dick had called him a few hours after he had started making breakfast to tell Logan that he was grateful for his friendship and for his girlfriend's help. Logan had downplayed things, eager to get off the phone. Ever since Veronica had told Logan about the rape, he had a hard time thinking about Dick, let alone talking to him on the phone.

The smell of bacon must have eventually woken Veronica from her slumber, because she fumbled her way into the kitchen whilst yawning and rubbing her eyes.

"You sure know the way into this girl's heart." She smiled before sitting herself down at the table. Logan just wiggled his eyebrows in response and made her a plate of bacon and eggs.

"Your dad called. He said your doctor wants you to come in to have a follow up. Said he'll be here by twelve," he informed her. She gave a small eye roll, but didn't argue.

"I told your dad that you guys should spend the day together. I'll get the house cleaned up and make reservations for our date night tonight, okay?"

"But—" she began to protest, but stopped. "Okay, does Dad know when I need to be back?"

"I told him to have you back by five. That should give you enough time to get washed up before dinner."

Logan had been just as hesitant to have her be gone the entire day with Keith, but he knew how worried her dad was. Logan knew that Keith would never insist on his daughter spending the entire day with him, so Logan had pushed his own selfishness away to make sure she did.

"What time is it?" Veronica asked between bites.

"Eleven, give or take."

"Guess I better get ready… Thanks for the breakfast. It was very… _domestic_ of you."

Logan smiled at her jab, knowing full well she meant it as a compliment.

"Well," he breathed as he scooted closer to her, "I like being domestic with you." He gave her nose a small kiss. He pressed his forehead against hers softly.

"Why, Logan Echolls," she whispered with a slight southern twang, "I told Pa I would make a good man out of you yet."

He couldn't help but snicker and pull her into a slow kiss. When they parted, he kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "Get used to it, you're stuck with the new and improved Logan Echolls now." He reached and took her plate and stood.

"You better head upstairs and get ready," he informed her as he turned on the sink. "Your dad will be here soon."

* * *

 

Keith had been all smiles in the car ride to the doctor's office. He had told her that he planned on grilling burgers for them for lunch. He skirted around the subject of the previous day's mishaps, but they were forced to face the reality of the day before once the doctor poked and prodded her.

"The hospital sent your records over. They said you had a mild concussion and a laceration on your forehead." The female doctor, Dr. Kapoor, paused and looked up from the chart to Veronica. Veronica nodded and she continued. "I just wanted to make sure I took a look at you today. Make sure you're still doing okay?"

"I feel fine," Veronica squeaked. She hated how unconfident she sounded.

"Have you had any nausea, fevers…?"

"No," Veronica lied. The truth was that she had felt sick on and off throughout the night and morning, but she knew it was only because of her concussion. There was no reason to fuss about it.

"Okay, well, let me run some tests. Make sure you're in a good shape to be running around." With that, the doctor left Keith and Veronica in the room alone. The silence was awkward, and Veronica knew Keith was trying his hardest to be positive.

"It looks like you're doing well. I'm going to guess that the doctor will just want you to come back in a week to remove the stitches." Keith wrung his hands as he spoke and gave a pathetic attempt at a smile.

"See, Dad, nothing can hold this bitch down," Veronica replied, pointing two thumbs at herself.

Keith gave her a bewildered look, but didn't try to start a fight.

A knock on the door made them both jump, and the doctor entered.

"Okay, Miss Mars let's get those tests done."

* * *

 

Veronica was relieved that Keith had hamburgers to keep him busy, because after the doctor's visit, neither of them were in much of a mood to talk. Keith scurried in and out of his house, occasionally calling to her asking questions like, "Want cheese on your burger?" or "Want a beer?"

After a while, Veronica couldn't stand the tension any longer, she joined Keith on his back porch where he was absentmindedly poking the meat.

"Dad we need to talk about it."

Keith looked at her like he had just realized she was with him.

"About what, Veronica?" he asked.

"About… _it_ ," she urged.

"Honey, if you can't even say what _it_ is, then I don't think _you're_ ready to talk." He must have sensed that she was getting frustrated because he added, "Which is okay. We'll talk about everything when you're ready."

It made her feel a little better, but she felt guilty that she couldn't just have an open and honest conversation with her dad.

"I'm sorry I made you and everyone so worried," was all she could reply. Keith didn't respond, he only gave a small shrug. "Dad." Keith finally made eye contact. "I'm going to play it safe from now on. I'm going to help you out at the office. You and me. I promise." As she looked into her dad's eyes she saw in his eyes all the anxiety he was hiding. "I promise," she tried again.

"I didn't want this for you," Keith lamented. "None of this. You were going to be a lawyer Veronica. You got out of here."

"I chose to come back, Dad. Nobody made me. It's home. It always will be."

"I guess it would be nice to have another pair of hands around here." She breathed an audible sigh of relief to which Keith responded with a chuckle.

"An old geezer like you, it's a wonder how you survived all these years without me."

"Sweet Daughter, you underestimate my power," her dad joked back.

For the first time in a long time, Veronica felt like she could breath around her dad again. And it was a wonderful feeling.

* * *

"So you and Logan have a date night tonight?" Keith asked his daughter. She had finished stuffing her mouth, and he saw this as an opportunity to pry some answers about her relationship out of her.

"Yeah," was her simple reply. Oh, how she was her father's daughter.

"You know what he has planned?" he pressed further. She quirked an eyebrow and smiled.

"Not what you're thinking, no."

"And what am I thinking?" Keith laughed.

"We haven't even talked about marriage. I'm sure when the time comes, _if_ the time comes, you'll know before I do."

_Well, that is a relief,_ Keith decided.

"So how are you guys doing? Are you moving into his place?"

"I don't know," Veronica began. Keith had to resist the urge to strangle her. It was like pulling teeth with this one. "Logan wants me to stay there while he's gone. He doesn't see why I would pay for a place when he has a perfectly good, empty home available."

"He has a point, Sweetie."

Veronica gave him a surprised look, and he had to admit that even he was surprised at his reaction to her moving in with Logan. "You think I should do it?" she asked, sounding uncertain.

"I think you need to decide that for yourself. But if it's my approval you're waiting for, I give you the green light."

He hated that his baby girl was now grown and far from being that blonde, wide eyed child he longed for. The little girl who had insisted on him learning how to do her hair because her mommy didn't like waking up in the mornings before school. The little girl who ran to him whenever she needed someone to bandage her scraped knees. But he was proud. Proud of the woman that she had become. The two of them had been through the storms of life together, and here they were, years later as victors. He had to accept that she would never get out of this place. She would always make her way back home. For years he blamed himself for her mistakes and for her decisions, but he realized now that, for better or for worse, she made her own choices. She had been making her own choices for a while now.

And regardless of what she chose to do—who she chose to be—he was going to be proud. He was going to be supportive. He was going to be her partner through the storms and through the calm like he always had been.

Because that's just who they were.

* * *

 

Veronica hoped that she hadn't eaten too much before Logan's big date night, but she couldn't refuse anything her dad ever cooked. Keith had driven her back home, and for once, Veronica felt at peace about the direction her life was heading.

She had decided that she was going to tell Logan that she would move in with him. He would be so happy. He had been dropping hints for a long time, every day, that he wanted her to move in. With her dad's blessing, she felt more at ease about doing it. She felt silly— needing her daddy's nod of approval, but there was something about his approval that meant the world to her.

"All your stuff is still in that spare room of mine," Keith informed her as she got out of his car. "Come by tomorrow and we can get it over here. Get you all moved in." He gave her a genuine smile.

"Sounds good." She began to close the door.

"Veronica?" She stopped and looked at her dad.

"Yeah?"

"I love you," he told her almost bashfully.

"I love you too, Dad. See you tomorrow." She slammed the door and tried not to rush to the door. She was overcome with giddy excitement for her and Logan's date.

"Honey!" she called in a sing-songy voice, "I'm home!"

When Logan didn't appear, she slowly shut the door and continued through the dark house.

"Okay, this is where you reply!" But there was no reply. Her pulse quickened and she became worried. She hurried up the stairs and burst into their room. She found him sitting on the end of the bed. His back to her.

"Logan?" she asked. He didn't turn. She took a step closer to him, and saw it. A white piece of paper in Logan's hand. And she knew exactly what that meant.

* * *

 

"Where are you going to be?" Veronica asked quietly. She had joined Logan at the end of the bed.

"I can't tell you that, Veronica," was his response.

"When are you leaving?"

"We take off two weeks from tomorrow, but I leave for my base in three days."

_Three days,_ she repeated to herself. She only had three days left with him.

"Will I see you before…before..." _Before you leave on a giant floating piece of metal for half of a year._

"Before we set sail?" Logan looked up. "There will be a send off that you can go to. Military wives and family members attend… to say goodbye." He looked at her with sad eyes but a smile.

"Okay." She didn't know what else to say.

"What are you thinking?" he asked seriously.

"I'm thinking?" she echoed back. She was still a bit shocked that the time for him to leave had finally come.

"Are you okay? You can still back out of this. I can tell you're freaked out."

"Freaked out? No… No I'm just trying to take this all in," she stammered.

He grabbed her hands but didn't say anything else. They sat in silence for a while. It had begun to rain, and the raindrops could be heard hitting the roof and the window.

"I'm moving in," she blurted. She wasn't entirely sure if this was the right moment to tell him, but for some reason she couldn't keep it in any longer. "I was going to tell you at dinner—"

"Dinner!" Logan jumped up and looked down at his watch. "We can still make it if we hurry."

"Are you sure?" she asked taken aback. "We can just call it off—"

"No," he cut her off. "No, I'm not calling off our last dinner date, Veronica. Get ready. A nice dress, but not too nice. How about that dress you wore to dinner with your dad? The black one?"

She smiled. "Okay."

Because "okay" was the only thing Veronica could manage to say without breaking down. But "okay" was the furthest from how she felt.

* * *

 

The following two days were met with frantic errands that had to be run, moving Veronica into Logan's house, and the occasional quickie. Veronica was frustrated that they hadn't had a really intimate moment together since the night they had received Logan's letter, but by the time they slipped into bed, Logan was exhausted and Veronica had to admit she was too. They spent most of the time together, yet it felt as though they had hardly said two sentences to each other.

On the night before he was leaving for his base, they had snuggled onto his couch and watched The Big Lebowski. Logan practically held onto her the entirety of the movie, and Veronica had a feeling that he was trying to hold on to every last moment they had.

_Eleven hours, forty eight minutes, and thirteen, twelve, eleven seconds left with him._ She pulled her eyes away from the ticking clock and tried to focus on The Dude's bearded face on the screen.

"Well, they finally did it," Logan was quoting along with Jeff Bridges, "They killed my effing car." Veronica snorted and he looked at her, surprised. "What?"

"Well, I appreciate you keeping it PG-13 for me," she laughed, "it's not like I couldn't hear the movie in the background."

"I'm delicate," he retorted sarcastically. He kissed her nose.

Veronica just laughed and pulled in closer to him, wishing it could always be this way.

"Hey," Logan said breaking into her thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, right?" he asked. The seriousness in his voice caught her off guard.

"Yeah, I know."

"Good. Never forget that. There will be a lot of lonely nights, Veronica. Just don't forget that I love you. Think of nights like these. It makes the days go by faster, I promise."

"Sounds like you have personal experience," she joked.

He turned her to face him. "I have. The last time I was deployed there were a lot of days that I felt very alone. But I just thought of home… I thought of you," he admitted, turning a bit red.

"Me?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, I would think of the good times. Most of my good times in life included you." He rolled his eyes. "Don't look so surprised, Sugarpuss."

"Oh God, 'Sugarpuss'... that was an interesting day."

"I always had fun being one of your wingmen during your crazy acts," he told her. "Maybe when I get back home… Maybe I could help out a little. Pretend to be your fiancé again."

She smiled and gave a short laugh. "As long as your promise to never call me Sugarpuss again."

"Okay, Bobcat, whatever you say." His eyes twinkled mischievously.

"You're impossible," she scoffed jokingly.

"But you love me," he pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

* * *

The following morning, Logan woke early and slipped out of bed quietly. He showered and tried to keep his mind on the objective ahead of him: getting to his base. He tried not to think about his beautiful, blonde girlfriend who was asleep in his bed. He tried not to think about the days and weeks ahead that would be void of any communication with her. He tried not to think about the very real possibility that Veronica could at any time change her mind and decide that military family life was too hard and not worth it.

Logan brushed his teeth, his towel wrapped around his waist, and finished his morning bathroom routine. He tiptoed out of the bathroom, and found Veronica was still sprawled across the bed, sound asleep. He pulled his uniform out of the closet and slipped into it.

It was time. Time to wake her up. Time to say goodbye. Time to leave.

"You look creepy, staring at me while I sleep like that," Veronica's sleepy voice said. She opened an eye and smiled.

"Just trying to memorize how you look. Peaceful and happy."

"Don't go," she frowned as she sat up.

"It's 180 days, Veronica. What's a 180 days to us?"

A smile crept to her face. "I'm going to miss you," she whispered.

"I'll miss you too. But more than I'll be missing you, I'll be loving you."

"You and your epic love notions," she grinned.

"Yeah." He returned her smile and pulled her into a hug. "Besides," he pulled back, "I'll be seeing you at the sendoff in a couple of weeks." Her eyes were downcast, but she nodded in agreement.

"I'll see you soon," Veronica said before kissing him gently.

"Stay safe," he warned her. He hoped she would take him seriously.

"Promise."

"Before you know it, I'll be home. You'll see," Logan promised.

"Always come home, please? Always come back?" He knew was Veronica was insinuating. She was worried that once he left he wouldn't make it back.

"Always," he promised. Logan gave her one last kiss, picked up his bag and headed out.

* * *

 

Veronica had eventually made her way out of the house. She was reluctant to even get up and get ready, but she knew her dad was waiting for her at the office. Now that the hangover from Dick's case was wearing off, she knew they needed to get a move on in the new cases. Not only that, but taking on new cases would keep her mind off of Logan for the next couple of weeks before she saw him again at the sendoff.

It seemed cruel. That she had to say goodbye again. But Veronica knew how important it was that she showed up to see him off. So she pushed the impending goodbye from her mind and set her sights on the business proposal she had for her dad.

"Okay, hear me out," Veronica told Keith once she arrived at Mars Investigations, "Let me finish law school and take the bar exam here in California. That way you can have a legal team connected with your investigations. Mac has already expressed her interest in using her superior computer skills to help us here at the office. We can build a team. A kick-ass team that can really change this town."

"I think you could be onto something," Keith finally admitted with a sigh.

"Plus your wonderful daughter will still be taking the bar exam. It's a win-win."

"Okay!" Keith threw his hands up in defeat, "Let's do it!" He stuck his hand out to Veronica for her to shake. She felt weird shaking her dad's hand, but she took it and they settled it. She couldn't wait to tell Mac.

"So any good cases to solve? Cheating husband...a greedy wife looking to get paid?"

"Actually, things have been slow this week. I just have paperwork to finish up, and then I was going to head out."

Veronica wasn't worried that they didn't have any current cases to work on. It was Neptune—something was bound to happen at any moment.

It was the Neptune way.

* * *

 

Later that night Veronica was washing the dinner dishes when Keith's voice rang from the living room. "Veronica!"

Veronica rushed to his side. The sound in his voice was familiar—distress and annoyance.

On the screen was a face of a man Veronica did not recognize, forlorn and tired. "Please," he was saying, "I have never done meth and I have never sold meth a single day in my hard working life. I'm a father of two girls. I had a mom who raised me right."

Veronica glanced back at her dad. Keith's furrowed brow indicated he knew more to this story than she did.

"The police got the wrong guy. Or it's a frame job. I don't know but it wasn't me," the man, now identified as Alejandro Gomez, begged. The news flashed to the next story and Keith turned the volume down.

"That's the second guy who has been arrested who claims that the contraband used against them was not theirs," Keith informed her.

"Isn't that what they all say?" Veronica asked, not quite understanding what the big deal was.

"These guys are telling the truth." It wasn't often that her dad was wrong about his convictions. Veronica had learned to trust them.

"So, what are we going to do about it?" Veronica asked. "If he didn't do it then I'm sure the sheriff's department is behind it."

Keith's grunt and nod indicated that she was on the same trail of thought as he was about the whole situation.

_Well,_ Veronica thought, _I guess these next few months won't be as quiet as I thought._

Having Logan away from home wasn't ideal. Hell, it was downright unfair, but it was life. Soon he would be at sea, and just as quickly as he left, he would be back. He was off saving the world, and being here with her dad made her feel like maybe she could do a little saving of the world herself.

Neptune was still corrupt. Neptune was still full of evil people who needed to be stopped. It might not be the entire world, but it was part of Veronica's world, and if she could help, even a little, she felt like she was doing something good with her life.

Oh, Neptune. The seedy little beach town that she had tried to hate all these years had pulled her right back in. She had tried to escape. She had tried to run. But she came right back. It was where she belonged. It was where she became who she was. It was where she was going to do her best to do some good.

Neptune was messy. It needed some saving. But it was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I'm still bummed that I came so close, but short of my 100,000 word goal. So part of me is still playing with the idea of adding another ending chapter. As for now, this fic is complete. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! It being my first fanfic to ever complete (and ever write for Veronica Mars), has made me realize how amazingly hard, but rewarding it is to be a fanfic writer. Props to you all. 
> 
> This isn't the last you'll see of me, I'm only getting started. 
> 
> Thanks again, Marshmallows,
> 
> Britt


End file.
